American Idolatry: Voters Repeat Presidential Election By Choosing Actual Talent Over Old Men In Headbands

The voting public, faced with a generally lackluster set of contestants on American Idol thusfar, are exhibiting surprising discernment in their carefully-weighed selections for the Top 12. Their three additions last night -- the power belter Allison Iraheta, the Timberlakeian heartthrob Kris Allen, and the stylish pro Adam Lambert -- were the only viable options in a field packed with inexperienced teens, twentysomethings with bad song choices, and at least one cynically-constructed theatrical caricature.

With half of the finalists set, no trends are emerging...another good sign, because diversity makes Idol a much more satisfying experience. Personally, though, I'm ready be in the finals for real: to jump-start the inevitable Danny Gokey backlash (everyone's aware he's a holy roller at a homophobic church, right? Just checking), to spend a night of rough-trade sex with Michael Sarver, and to cheer like a little schoolgirl every time Adam Lambert opens his mouth. How about you?

Disco Friday: The Motels "Only The Lonely"

I'm working on a play, Not Her, that opens March 10th (tickets), and this song figures prominently in the plot, so I've been listening to it a lot. The Motels were a one-hit wonder (or, to be fair, a three-hit wonder), but like so many bands, they probably deserved more success than they got. The song is merely catchy pop, but vocalist Martha Davis has an exquisite alto. It makes me melancholy, but not sad...kind of nostalgic, but for a life I never lived. Weird.

American Idolatry: Viva La Vida Loca Boheme

No pictures tonight, because I'm late getting this up. But with one major exception, the night was mostly a continuation of last week's mediocre debuts. Lesson to be learned #1: song choice is key. Lesson #2: don't fuck around with Coldplay, kids.

Idol Wannabe : Jasmine Murray
Song Choice : "Love Song"
Fashion Sense : A silver space jacket, like she's a hip extra from a teen queen remake of Logan's Run
ModFab Verdict : B
God, but she's beautiful. Just exquisite. And she has proved in previous rounds that she's got formidable chops, and she's got a look that would not be out of place in today's pop marketplace. But her Achilles' Heel, if she has one, is her youth...which contributed to a probably fatal combination of nerves and inexperience. The judges were harsh, maybe too harsh. But her performance wasn't memorable, and for her fans (of which I am one), last night can only be pegged as a major disappointment.

Idol Wannabe : Matt Giraud
Song Choice : "Viva La Vida"
Fashion Sense : A matching leather version of Jasmine Murray's faux-Members Only jacket (to show he's cool), plain shirt and jeans (to show he's grounded), and way-bright sneakers (to show he's fun)
ModFab Verdict : D
A thin and reedy voice that only made it into the finals with his piano playing, Giraud always struck me as overpraised in the early rounds. Despite the judges making excuses for his terrible, off-tune performance (a VERY unusual turn of events, I must say), there's no denying that he massacred Coldplay's recently-minted Grammy winner. It'll be interesting to see if the judges' pleas to viewers to essentially ignore this performance and send him through anyway will be honored. Here at ModFab HQ, no one will be dialing in for him, of that I can assure you!

Idol Wannabe : Jeanine Vailes
Song Choice : "This Love"
Fashion Sense: Hot pants, incomprehensibly paired with a floral blouse and a beaded tuxedo jacket. Back at my senior prom in the late 80's, there was a girl dressed exactly like this. And we made fun of her, too.
ModFab Verdict : D
Ouch. Out of tune and screeching through what should be the money notes, the performance was the biggest disaster of the night so far. Paula, the eternal optimist, could only muster "great legs" for the compliment portion of the critique. And why Maroon 5? It isn't that great a song to begin with, and it did her no favors.

Idol Wannabe : Nick Mitchell
Song Choice : "And I Am Telling You (I'm Not Going)"
Fashion Sense: The signature red headband, a white tuxedo jacket complete with tailes, a lame shirt, and cargo shorts.
ModFab Verdict : Performance A, Voice C+
I knew this moment was coming; frankly, I've dreaded having to write about it. Because Nick and his "character" walk a fragile, unspoken line in the Idol rulebook...namely, whether it's a media-fueled entertainment or a serious vocal competition. As a piece of performance art, Nick was smart, hilarious, witty, and hugely entertaining. But as a piece performed in a singing contest, it was despicably shabby, unformed, and woefully dependent upon shtick. So is Idol meant to entertain, or reward singers of quality? Both, of course. So I'm torn on Nick...but I'm dead certain that America will love him dearly, and hold onto him for at least another week.

Idol Wannabe : Allison Iraheta
Song Choice : "Alone"
Fashion Sense: Generic punk chick garb, if you're a punk chick from Kansas...black skirt with leggings, sassy black top, and dyed hair. Holy Stefani, Batman!
ModFab Verdict : B+
I gasped out loud when I heard Allison say she was taking on Heart's legendary power ballad. You've got to be able to slam it on your debut night, and singing such an iconic song (from such an iconic singer) was a tall order. But not only did she rise to the occasion, she nailed it. Strong, confident vocal lines, power when it counted, and a surprising stage presence. This sixteen-year-old just got on my radar screen in a big way.

Idol Wannabe : Kris Allen
Song Choice : "Man in the Mirror"
Fashion Sense: What is up with the Members Only jackets tonight? Was there a fire sale at the JC Penney outlet? This one is, at least, a little more photographer-on-location, less sophomore-drinking-spritzers.
ModFab Verdict : B-
Another big iconic song, but in this instance, there's no force of personality behind it...or vocal dexterity, for that matter. He's really pretty, which may get him passed on to the next week; Paula fell for him (surprise), and we've had a shortage of cuties thusfar. Simon's rave review was a bit of a surprise. I don't know...I don't see it, bottom line.

Idol Wannabe : Megan Corkrey
Song Choice : "Put Your Records On"
Fashion Sense: simple white summer dress, set off by her blond tresses and some serious ink on her upper right arm. Tattoos, yeah! This is rock!
ModFab Verdict : B-
Totally out of her depth, Corkrey has a nice but unremarkable alto. Very middle of the road. But that may not be important, because she has something more germane to a television competition -- she's beautiful. Stunning, in fact. And blonde teen goddesses have a stellar track record of success in Idol history. I don't want to overstate it (as Randy did, when he compared her to Winehouse, Adele, and Duffy), but Megan may be a force to contend with, middling talent or not.

Idol Wannabe : Matt Breitzke
Song Choice : "If You Could Only See"
Fashion Sense: Black, untucked collared shirt with rocker patterned stripes on each side...the outfit worn by every drunk guy who hits on the pretty girl at 3 AM right when the bar is closing.
ModFab Verdict : B-
Matt has the exact opposite problem of Megan...he's got a lovely voice and a club-band charm, but the wrong look for modern pop music and a near-complete absence of star power. He did the song well, but Simon signed his death warrant by attacking the song choice, and then the others judges piled on. Good luck to you, Matt...hope you enjoyed your stay in La La Land.

Idol Wannabe : Jesse Langseth
Song Choice : "Bette Davis Eyes"
Fashion Sense: Off-the-shoulder black sweater with jeans...because in this competition, forgettability is key.
ModFab Verdict : B
Jesse did a fine job, staying in tune and hitting all the dramatic beats...but I find myself agreeing with Randy (and no one is more shocked than I am about that!). She simply wasn't extraordinary. The song isn't very challenging musically, and her gentle sway didn't make waves, telegenically speaking. I have a hard time believing that anyone would get excited enough by this performance to pass her through to the next round.

Idol Wannabe : Kai Kalama
Song Choice : "What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted"
Fashion Sense: Fitted black shirt and tight black jeans...in other words, Smoking Hot Outfit.
ModFab Verdict : B+
A little tentative, but I was so glad to hear the first perfect match of singer and song that I didn't care. Kai's got a great backstory and a pretty tenor that is blessedly unadorned with glitzy runs. The judges were pretty tough, but I think it was triangulation...they've got their favorites, and are doing their best to shape the view of the voters.

Idol Wannabe : Mishavonna Henson
Song Choice : "Drops Of Jupiter"
Fashion Sense: Exquisite sea-blue shimmer dress, which unfortunately had leggings poking out from the bottom. But I was into it, a bit.
ModFab Verdict : B+
Pound for pound, Mishavonna had the best pure vocal talent of the evening. But again: is that enough? Probably not. She has little to no showmanship, and the song was never more than adequate. I feel like America will pass her by, and it's a real shame, because she's probably the only person tonight who could seriously sustain a career with longevity. She's also the only person tonight I'd consider buying a record from.

Idol Wannabe : Adam Lambert
Song Choice : "Satisfaction"
Fashion Sense: A leather blazer -- no, make that a leather suit! -- with huge gold chain necklaces over a t-shirt. Spunky!
ModFab Verdict : A-
Really? The Broadway Boy is going to see the Rolling Stones? Okaaaaay. But he worked it out, starting it off with a slow Tina Turner-ish slink before powering it up to full force. And no one has the big notes this year like Adam...he's got a marvelous instrument, and it has been well trained by stage work over the years. He's marketable to so many demographics -- pretty boys for the teenage girls, adorable eyes for the mothers, and non-threatening rock moves for the menfolk. With a major exception in Simon, he received the best comments of the night from the judges.

Best Of Night: Adam Lambert
Worst Of Night: Matt Giraud
The Three Going Through To The Final 12: Adam Lambert, Allison Iraheta, Kris Allen

The Top Ten Songs In The Universe

Anoraak : Night Drive With You (Grum Mix)
Architecture In Helsinki : That Beep (Radioclit Mix)
Black Eyed Peas : Boom Boom Pow
Chris Garneau : Between The Bars
Empire of the Sun : We Are The People (Jimmy2sox Mix)
Kid Cudi : Day 'N' Nite (Minus Mix)
Lost Valentinos : Serio
MSTRKRFT ft. John Legend : Heartbreaker
Pet Shop Boys : Love Etc. (Gui Boratto Mix)
Sidechains : Dance While You Can (Tits and Clits Mix)

Classic of the Universe : Right Said Fred : Don't Talk Just Kiss (Deep Throat Mix)
Album of the Universe : Defected Clubland Adventures - 10 Years In The House

New PSB Video : "Love Etc."

As different and surprising as the song is for our dear Pet Shop Boys, the video for new single "Love Etc." is an even bigger step away from their history. A pansexual video game-as-life metaphor, replete with its own mandalas and symbology. Dying to hear the new record, which comes out next month...if it's even half as interesting as this, it'll be incredibly satisfying.

I'm Dating Hillary Clinton (Or, Where I've Been Recently)

Yes, I know. I haven't written a Stage Addiction column in weeks, I'm barely around on the weekends, etc., etc. I've been an absent father to ModFab in recent weeks. But I've got a good excuse...I've been making some extraordinary theatre in the real world, and now I get to invite you to it!

It's called NOT HER (AND OTHER EXILES), a new 50-minute evening of short plays I've co-written and directed at the beautiful new multi-million dollar theatre complex at Dixon Place. Rarely do I get the opportunity to direct my own writing; even better, I get to direct two stunning new works by Gretchen Michelfeld, including NOT HER, a Beckett-influenced exploration of the life, career, struggles and future of Hillary Clinton. Yes...me, Obama Boy, is doing a sympathetic play about Hillary. Who says we all can't change?

Reservations are easily made at http://www.dixonplace.org for either of our two performances. Let me know you'll be attending, so I can make sure to find you there!

Best,
Gabriel

Oscar-ology: A Ceremony To Celebrate

There are at least fifteen gajillion bloggers who will be writing about the Oscars today, and I'm going to do my best to avoid another tedious recapping and the they-waz-robbed bitchery you'll be drowning in over the next 24 hours. But for what it's worth, I really enjoyed the ceremony this year. The honoring of nominees by previous winners was powerfully touching and had a dignity I wasn't expecting. I also loved the page-to-screen unveiling of the categories...and when Jackman's performing musical numbers, I'm like a five-year-old clapping with glee.

Most importantly, though, the idea of a larger, "all together" sense of celebration and tribute -- creating thematic montages to celebrate the wide breadth of international cinema, making the Original Song nominees into a medley, having tribes of former winners welcome newcomers into their number -- imbued the ceremony with a sense of bounty, of flourish, underscoring the joy of moviegoing in a time where we need to remember the power of art more than ever. Good job, Academy.

Among my favorite moments:
- Dustin Lance Black's eloquent acceptance speech for the Original Screenplay of Milk, speaking to gay youth so beautifully;
- A.R. Rahman, the world's most magnificent film composer, finally getting his due from the Academy for Slumdog Millionaire

For the other winners, of course, there weren't too many surprises. I, for one, am glad to see the 2008 film year go...I'm hoping to be much more impressed by 2009. With only two weeks until Watchmen, my hopes are high! Academy Awards

Born With The Wrong Sign, In The Wrong House

Via Electroqueer. I think it's so hot I could heat half of Brooklyn with this track. I'm kvelling over 2009's album releases coming this spring, and Depeche is at the top of the list.

The Monday ManScan

Beautiful : X-Men Origins: Wolverine
The Daily Slab : Hold Up
Ethan Says : Pimp Paris
Gym Fanatic : Carreaux
Hot Men : Brock Harris
Hunk du Jour : Taylor Kitsch
Just Beautiful Men : Gorgeous Zagorski
Made In Brazil : The Boys of National Underwear Day
Stunning Sexy Guys : More Love
Troy : 313

Showtune Sunday: Patti LuPone in "Evita"

Yeah, I can't believe I'm posting a clip from an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, either. But this is undoubtedly his strongest work, and it's instructive, I think, in the early development of Patti LuPone's astonishing career. I doubt many of those who saw her find international fame as Eva Peron imagined that she's go on to put an indelible stamp, decades later, on iconic roles like Reno Sweeney, Mrs. Lovett and Mama Rose. But if you watch her here, you see the foundation of her remarkable skill and talent: a clear understanding of text, a fearlessness with expression, and a deep sense of her character's motivation. (And next to Gunton and Patinkin, who were also destined for big careers, it's an even bigger object lesson in submitting to the role.)

Disco Friday: Shapeshifters "Lola's Theme"

A fellow blogger recently asked me to name my favorite dance track of the first decade of our new millennium. After debating a few candidates (runners-up: this, this, and this), I settled on "Lola's Theme," which is still, three years gone, in regular rotation on my iPod. The lyric is especially meaningful for me, but it's the propulsion, the force of the vocal line, and that insistent high-hat that gets me every time.

American Idolatry: Tatiana Is Dead, Long Live Tatiana!

Because I am nothing if not a generous humanitarian and a devotee of the soul, I have decided -- in light of Tatiana Del Toro's unceremonious booting from the ranks of American Idol last night -- to retract my death threats against her. May she live a long, unfulfilled life full of obscurity and cultural irrelevance, followed by an agonizing death involving some fatal tropical disease. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, sister.

I apparently missed (or misunderstood) the rule changes for this season, which involve kicking out all but three contestants in a single, vicious stroke. The three who voters chose to keep for the eventual "Final 12" were more compelling as narratives than as singers: the single mom (Alexis Grace), the telegenic country boy (Michael Sarver), and the melancholy widower (Danny Gokey). Of the bunch, I don't expect any of them to figure seriously in the finals, with the possible exception of Sarver, who might rally a genre voting bloc. As sad as Alexis and Danny's stories are, history proves that only in rare occasions (Fantasia Barrino) do these narratives translate into wins. Only to the next 12 of the Final 36 before the Final 12!

The Top Ten Songs In The Universe

Alice Russell : Got The Hunger
Do Up : Street Lights (SPSM Mix)
Low Motion Disco : Love Love Love (Aeroplane Mix)
Michael Sembello vs. The Killers : Somebody Told Me She's A Maniac
Morrissey : Something is Squeezing My Skull
The Presets : If I Know You
Saint Etienne : Method Of Modern Love (BitchSLAPhappy's Method Mix)
Shinichi Osawa : Star Guitar (James Delay Mix)
Theatre of Disco : You Who Me
The Third Degree : Mercy

Classic of the Universe : Pet Shop Boys : I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind Of Thing (Grand Ballroom Dub)
Another of the Universe : Martha Wash : Catch The Light (Sound Factory Club Mix)
Album of the Universe : Nick Heyward : North of a Miracle

American Idolatry: Danny Gokey Can Cure Cancer, Solve The Credit Crisis, and End World Hunger, Apparently

It seems like only yesterday when the Dueling Davids, Cook and Archuleta, battled to the (musical) death on American Idol, trying to become the pop phenoms of 2008. But now, with their debut albums dropping on the charts almost as fast as the stock market, we turn to a new year of young hopefuls, all grabbing for Idol's brass ring of success...preferably more like Daughtry, less like Hicks. Last night the first batch of 12 took the stage (there are 36 this year, because Fox is greedy, and God hates all other networks), and the results were decidedly mixed. Here's how the viewing party went down at ModFab HQ:

Idol Wannabe : Jackie Tohn
Song Choice : "A Little Less Conversation"
Fashion Sense : Polka-dotted strapless blouse and a sassy red belt, because she's a rebel who doesn't play by the rules, see.
ModFab Verdict : B
The evening began with Season 8's scratchy-throated chanteuse, who looks like Anne Hathaway and sounds like Pink with less breath control. Jackie began the Elvis Presley tune with a bluesy, stripped-down vibe that racheted up to an old-fashioned honky tonk stomper. Or would have, if Tohn had the life experience to back up her shtick. The judges were impressed with her personality (less so with her vocal performance); Simon felt the need to re-establish his bitch credentials early on, so he ripped her a little more savagely than he normally would have. Me, I think she's got an okay voice and an okay personality...but no superstar potential. And dissing Dreamgirls in her after-performance chat with Ryan didn't make me a fan.

Idol Wannabe : Ricky Braddy
Song Choice : "A Song For You"
Fashion Sense : Dark blazer, white shirt, and seriously unfortunate tight pants.
ModFab Verdict : B
There's a white-boy soul flavor to Braddy's voice, reminiscent of Daryl Hall...but his too-sweet demeanor and vocal histrionics play against his strengths, making it all a little too Michael Buble-ish for me. Still, oversung schmaltz works on Idol audiences, and the judges...Paula gave him a standing ovation (surprised it took her that long, frankly), and Randy and Kara raved like swooning teen girls. Simon, for his part, was polite but hit the nail on the head...there's a star-quality deficiency, and despite Braddy's impressive skills, I just can't imagine the world rushing out to buy his record.

Idol Wannabe : Alexis Grace
Song Choice : "I Never Loved A Man"
Fashion Sense : Slinky black dress, heels, and a white string necklace...hey, it's Duffy!
ModFab Verdict : B+
Ahhh...she's a mom. She already told us this in the audition round, she told us again at Hollywood Week, and here she's telling us again in the b-roll before her performance. (Subtext: if you have kids or want kids or think about kids ever, you should vote for ME!) It's a big step to tackle an Aretha Franklin classic in the first round, and I admire the stones it took to choose it. And surprisingly, she didn't blow it. Sure, it wasn't especially powerful, and it lacked the world-weariness that courses through the lyrical underpinnings of the song. But she gave it her best, and was rewarded with the judges' unanimous admiration....Simon even crowned her with a comparison to the patron saint of American Idol, Kelly Clarkson. Not bad, girl. Not bad at all.

Idol Wannabe : Brent Keith
Song Choice : "Hicktown"
Fashion Sense : Untucked great collared shirt, stonewashed denim, chunky man-necklace, and boots. Wow, you think he's country or something?
ModFab Verdict : C
Completely uninteresting tune aside (what a waste of a great title!), Keith is the first contestant to place his marker on a genre...he's claiming the space reserved for "Country" in the Idol universe. It was a safe political move, and that calculation may have extended to his performance, a middle-of-the-road, no-bumps effort that will easily keep him to the next round. He's a smart cookie, who understands the telegenic nature of Idol; when Simon called his performance "forgettable," Brent countered by saying "country fans won't forget," a clear call to arms for his voting bloc. And who knows, maybe it'll work...it did for Carrie Underwood, who is unquestionably the most successful winner to date. The difference? Underwood has truly amazing pipes. This boy does not.

Idol Wannabe : Stevie Wright
Song Choice : "You Belong With Me"
Fashion Sense : A mint-green oversized shirt with a belt and leggings...clearly, a tribute to all the Skanks at Slutty Heights High, Class of 1984.
ModFab Verdict : D
Ugh. 17 years young and clearly wracked with nerves, the song wasn't keyed appropriately to her voice and her bubbly energy seemed forced and false. Pans across the board from the judges. It was bad, she knew it, they knew it, we knew it. Will teens in her demographics save her? I think it's too early to expect a Sanjaya-like salvation for Stevie, if only because America hasn't yet fallen in love with any of the contestants, much less developed loyalties. Not good...although hugging her sympathetic parents on camera (who blamed the coaches for changing their darling daughter's song) probably played well.

Idol Wannabe : Anoop Desai
Song Choice : "Angel of Mine"
Fashion Sense : Blending in with the background, literally...a dark blazer, a dark shirt, and jeans. I couldn't see the shoes, I was yawning too widely. (And dude, what's up with the hair? Next time, skip Dad's Vitalis and try some styling gel.)
ModFab Verdict : B-
In the kindest light, Anoop's plaintive croon might be mistaken for Jon Secada or a lesser spawn of Iglesias. But (to reiterate) that's kind. The tune is plain and unadorned, and the lyrics a bit preening...hardly remarkable enough to stand out at this point. I'm not sure I have a sense of who he is yet...he seems a bit guarded. I doubt anyone will quibble with the performance (or the judges' generosity), and his gentle after-song sparring with Simon will probably play well. And don't forget...the last Indian-American on Idol, a certain Mr. Malakar, found a solid voting base with much less talent than Desai's.

Idol Wannabe : Casey Carlson
Song Choice : "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"
Fashion Sense : A limp attempt at an Amy Winehouse-ian beehive, black blouse and an ill-fitting gold lame skirt resembling a potato sack made at Fort Knox.
ModFab Verdict : C-
Undoubtedly, she's the cutest kewpie doll of the night: an adorable smile, perky energy. But the voice was flat and unengaging, the performance listless, and the song choice regrettable. The judges hit her hard, and it clearly landed; she seemed a bit broken as she listened to Randy, Kara and Paula pile on...and Simon, who landed the major body blows. (Side note: I can tell already what I'll hate most about this season -- the defensive parents, who are now routinely on stage, and who feel an embarrassing need to save their children after a crushing critique. I say: they're old enough to audition and sign the release form, they're old enough to take their lumps. No, I don't have any kids, why do you ask?)

Idol Wannabe : Michael Sarver
Song Choice : "I Don't Wanna Be"
Fashion Sense : The country outfit of choice (collared shirt untucked, jeans, boots), but this time, a WHITE shirt (oooh!) with an enormous embroidered splotch over the heart. Hot, if you're a drunk slut at 2AM at the country-and-western bar. As I often am.
ModFab Verdict : B
The second of our country gentlemen this evening, I feel (as the audience surely must) a compelling need to compare him with Brent Keith from earlier in the evening. For me, Michael is the better cowboy. His instrument is significantly fuller and more accomplished, and his aww-shucks earthiness has a down-home honesty. The judges were split: Randy and Kara found his performance lacking, Paula and Simon were much kinder...Simon even gave him the divine touch by proclaiming that America should save him. I think they will, but he'll need to step up his game in future weeks.

Idol Wannabe : Ann Marie Boskovich
Song Choice : "Natural Woman"
Fashion Sense : Lime green dress. Is lime the "in" color this season? It makes her look like a sherbet monster threw up.
ModFab Verdict : B
Another Aretha classic, another better-than-expected turn. She owned the melody, made interesting choices. She lacks showmanship, sure, but it wasn't as bad as the judges implied. And boy, they went after her...Randy disliked the song choice and Kara, who spent the entire evening repeating and restating Randy's critiques, suggested a Sara Bareilles tune instead. (WTF?) Paula liked it, though. We'll see. I was surprised by the vitriol, considering the complete pass Jackie Tohn got earlier in the evening.

Idol Wannabe : Stephen Fowler
Song Choice : "Rock With You"
Fashion Sense : Interesting patterned shirt, perfectly cut blues, and a retro-flavor...best of the evening. In fashion, at least.
ModFab Verdict : D+
Of the contestants tonight, none of them had a more memorable moment in Hollywood Week than Fowler's complete and utter meltdown, storming off the stage after forgetting his music. The b-roll introduction tonight shaped that as a redemptive moment, and his selection as a finalist a second-chance opportunity. Too bad for him. Interpreting Michael Jackson's disco classic as a Gerald Levert-ish jam didn't quite do it for me...a noticeable crack on the high note near the end, breath control issues throughout, etc. Most of all, it lacked a genuine truthfulness. He admitted, in response to the unforgiving critique by the judges, to some nerves and that "he didn't feel comfortable yet." Yeah dude, it showed. And I doubt the audience will give you a third chance to redeem yourself.

Idol Wannabe : Tatiana Del Toro
Song Choice : "I'm Saving All My Love For You"
Fashion Sense : Hideous purple, orange and grey sundress. Her hair? Like a pteradactyl took a shit on her head, and it dried.
ModFab Verdict : B
As regular readers know, I have a deep, abiding, personal grudge against Tatiana, which has previously featured multiple death threats and a desire to fire nuclear weapons at her forehead. But even I can see that she's got a full, if untrained, voice...something that the audience ate up, because full voices have been in short supply this evening. She's got ability, sure, and it seems she's realized how badly she's been coming off in the Hollywood Week episodes. (When prompted to do her banshee-on-a-bender laugh, she demurely refused.) I'm happy that Simon called her out on her intensely calculated persona, her ambition, her ego and her putrid personality. The truth is that in THIS case, her voice is beside the point. She's faking everything. Will America buy it anyway? God, I hope not.

Idol Wannabe : Danny Gokey
Song Choice : "Hero"
Fashion Sense : White shirt similar to Michael Sarver's, jeans, and those Dexter's Laboratory glasses. Expect Kanye to start wearing them any day now.
ModFab Verdict : B
If Tatiana is The Crazy Egomaniac, Danny is The Guy With The Dead Wife. (Idol reduces the lives of contestants to one single defining event. Isn't that convenient? So easy to remember!) This is his meme, his raison d'etre, and it's a powerful one, destined to garner him votes from sympathetic moms and teen girls for many weeks to come. Singing "Hero" struck me as a crass commercialization of the situation, but hey, this is America, where tasteless maneuvers are not only encouraged, but praised. The judges loved him, loved the sentiment, loved the moment...and when Simon bothered to point out the fact that Danny wasn't the Second Coming Of Jesus, both Kara and Ryan called him "heartless." On a show like this, such epithets mean only one thing...Danny is here to stay, for a good long time.

Best of Night : Alexis Grace
Bottom Three : Ann Marie Boskovich, Stephen Fowler and Stevie Wright
Eviction Prediction : Stephen Fowler
Comments : Share yours below, I wanna know what you think!

Blogcrushing: Oscar Predix, Simpsons, Poetry

via Wikipedia

New York Mag : Oscar predictions will abound this week, but none are more exciting than those of Nate Silver, the wunderkid behind FiveThirtyEight.com. Using a computer model, he computes the major categories...and comes up with a few bold surprises. Nice!
Fabulon : This is what a gay orgasm looks like from space. Wowowow.
A Blog Next Door : The new Simpsons opening credits. Like the old credits, but with more doodads and whirligigs.
Cinematical : The first trailer for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is online. Is it just me, or is Megatron like really, really hot? I would totally give it up for him.
Queerty : According to Webster's, "karmic retribution" is defined as what happens when a bigoted homophobic evangelical minister finds his son arrested for gay sex in a public park. It is also the definition for "bitchtastic."
Designers' Block : If you buy this glassware set, we recommend that you not drink Mountain Dew when using them. Trust us.
Classic Poetry Aloud : Just what the title says...Browning, Byron, Coleridge and more, read aloud, for free no less. A much better lunch-at-your-desk alternative than slogging through another crappy episode of Chuck on Hulu, right?

The World (Unlimited)

Been over to our tumbleblog, ModFab Unlimited, lately? The photo gallery has enjoyed some great additons of late. Check it out!

The Monday ManScan

Cisoto Fotos : Moumen El Maghraouy Wet
Definition of a Man : Chris Austad
Dude Flesh : Hoodie Hotties
Fabulon : Madge and Boy Toy
Fantasies of a Virgin : Matt Stone
Gay Bloggy : Tiago Prisco
London Calling Luv : Random Hot
Norway Underwear : Relax
Sexy Black Guys : Make My Day
Simple Answers to Complex Questions : Ashton Kutcher Gets Ripped

Sneak of the new Depeche Mode

Depeche Mode - Wrong / Peace
by YourUselessAdvice

Via XO's Middle Eight, a preview of the new Depeche Mode record, at some stadium somewhere. Between the new Morrissey, the new Pet Shop Boys, and the new DM all coming out this spring, I wonder if my heart can withstand such happiness.

Showtune Sunday: "The Color Purple"

Sure, it was inconsistent, it was muddled, and it rushed through the plot points of the book like a runaway locomotive. But in my memory, The Color Purple: The Musical has aged well. Partly because it was a surprise success...thanks to Oprah Winfrey's clout as a co-producer and an effective marketing strategy, the show lived a healthy life (940 performances, just over two years) in its enormous 53rd Street theatre, which had been a show-killer for years because it's so hard to fill that space. But mostly, because I remember some of the show's songs and performances fondly, especially the title song and this defiant anthem for Sophia, "Hell No." (I also loved LaChanze, Felicia Fields and the "church lady trio". Nice touch, that.)

Disco Friday: Happy Valentine's Day

From my heart to yours, you sexy devils. Shake it like you broke it.

BREAKING: Tatiana Del Toro Replaces Economic Downturn As New National Catastrophe

The 36 American Idol semifinalists (or is this the quarterfinals? When you got three dozen contestants, there's little that "final") have been announced, and surprise surprise, the recession's answer to Sanjaya Malakar is among the chosen few. Please send your thanks and death threats in care of Fox Studios, attn: Tatiana.

With the first twelve to take the stage next week, I'm not going to catalog the entire 36 until they start singing for their supper (and America gets their say, however deluded we may be). If you're looking for a full preview, I'll leave that to my betters, namely Low Resolution and Tapeworthy. But if I had to be a betting man right this second on a Final Five, I'd guess him, him, her, him, and her.

Will Young: "Let It Go"

What a striking interpretation. Who expected Will to be the most imaginative and daring of the global Idols? I sure wish he could get a foothold in America. (via FizzyPop)

On The Subject Of Tatiana Del Toro...

If you don't know who she is, trust me, don't bother. But if you are one of the unfortunates who have already been subjected to the biological nightmare/musical aberration that is Tatiana, you probably share my view that, after the semi-final Hollywood Week round on American Idol last night, she officially won the title of Most Irritating Human Being On Planet Earth In The Galaxy. I'm taking donations, people; all I need is a plane ticket to Hollywood, an AK47, and I'm taking her out. No need to thank me.

(P.S. -- Do you guys want the Idol recaps this year? Let me know.)

The Top Ten Songs In The Universe

The BPA ft. Justin Robertson : Island
Black Gold : Detroit (Shark Attack Mix)
Chase & Status : Eastern Jam (High Rankin 100% Unofficial Reeeeeemix)
Fleet Foxes : False Night on the Road
French Horn Rebellion : Up All Night
Lily Allen : Fuck You*
Lioness : You're My Heart (CcenturiesS Mix)
The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart : Young Adult Friction
Pet Shop Boys : Love Etc.
U2 : Get On Your Boots

Classic of the Universe : D'Angelo : I Found My Smile Again
Another of the Universe : Funkadelic : One Nation Under A Groove
*Perhaps The Greatest Song Of The Universe, Ever, Possibly.

If You're Wondering Which Americans Are Expendable...

via Wikipedia

...look no further. Apparently, the people who shouldn't be saved in this economy are museum workers, arts centers, theatres, and anyone who works to save the culture from complete lobotomization. Because face it, as long as we've got Perez Hilton, Rock of Love, and He's Just Not That Into You, who needs Caravaggio, Mozart, or Shakespeare? Right?

Reprehensible. Chuck Shumer, especially, should run in fear, because he just lost one of his most supportive voting blocs...in one fell swoop.

UPDATE: If you want to do something about this, how about e-mailing your congressional leaders. And send it on to your friends and neighbors.

Blogcrushing: Roses, McCain, and Dollhouse

via Wikipedia

From the outer reaches of Blogistan:

• i09 sees a sneak of Dollhouse, where apparently, the fembots' sexualities will trend towards the middle of the Kinsey scale. Scary. And hot.
• Strange Interlude gets medieval on the Republicans' asses. Someone has to, right?
• Yes, Chartrigger, that Daniel Merriweather is one purty, purty, purty new pop star.
• Playbill shows us how a devastatingly terrible idea can get even worse: ladies and germs, the new Christine.
• The Film Experience is working through its 2009 film preview; The Road is my favorite so far (and also the most in need of better publicity shots).
  
• Brad's Deals has the Valentine's Day steal of the year: $25 for a dozen red roses. Email me if you need my address for the delivery person.
• Lemonwade gets bitchslapped for his criticism of the new Broadway shows, by none other than PR titan Adrian Bryan-Brown. And, IMO, Lemonwade deserved it. People who understand the cyclical nature of the theatrical season knew that the January closures would be followed by an influx of new product...a wintertime tradition that dates back many decades. If producers want to keep art alive in this economy, and investors are willing to put their dollars on the line to keep our culture strong, why would anyone who loves the theatre want to stop them?

The Monday ManScan

The Daily Slab : Golden
eMackinations : Clone Wars
Gay Body Blog : Philip Fusco
Hoodsworld : Tyrus
Just Beautiful Men : Beautiful Nathaniel
ManWatch : Ziv
No Apologies : Super Speedo Sunday
So Slowly : Jason Sokody
Stunning Sexy Guys : More Kilts
Truly Madly Deeply : Adding Texture

Showtune Sunday: "A Chorus Line"

How about an early Valentine's Day present? The original company of A Chorus Line, from 1976, performing the breaktaking opening sequence on the Tony Awards. Three things immediately strike me watching it:

1) God, Donna McKechnie and Priscilla Lopez were young;
2) God, Michael Bennett was the best director of musicals of all time;
3) God, this is sooooo much better than the limpid 2007 revival.

Disco Friday: Pet Shop Boys "Domino Dancing"

An object lesson in barely-veiled gay subtext, 80's style. It would be another decade before the Pet Shop Boys would openly discuss their sexuality, but keen eyes could pick out the homoerotic themes and images in "It's A Sin" and "What Have I Done To Deserve This." "Domino Dancing," however, foregrounds male sexuality with shirtless boys, exotic locales, Neil Tennant pining away, and a boy-on-boy wrestle in the ocean surf, just past the six-minute mark. Mmmm mmmm good.

Antony and the Johnsons "Epilepsy Is Dancing"

Sweet Jesus, but this is a gorgeous video. Already a candidate for my favorite album of the year.

The Top Ten Songs in the Universe

Sneaky Sound System

The Bird and the Bee : My Love
The BPA ft. Iggy Pop : He's Frank (The Twelves Mix)
Dillinja : Twist 'Em Out (Proper Villains Mix)
Empire of the Sun : Walking on a Dream (Pegase Mix)
Foals : Olympic Airways (Ewan Pearson Mix)
The Golden Filter : Solid Gold
India.Arie ft. Musiq Soulchild : Chocolate High
KillaQueenz : Bitches
Private : My Secret Lover (Electromasterz Mix)
Sneaky Sound System : I Love It (Fred Falke Mix)

Classic of the Universe : The KLF : Justified and Ancient (Atomic Box Mix)
Another of the Universe : D'Angelo : Lady (CJ Mackintosh Radio Edit)
Album of the Universe : Cocteau Twins : Live at the Michigan Theatre, 1991
Another of the Universe : Martin Gore : An Italian Night with Martin Gore

The Monday ManScan

101 Boys : Jewels of the Web
Body Whisperer : Beauty of Nudity
Definition of a Man : Francis Cadieux
eMackinations : Nick Youngquest
Five Star Men : Steve Sabo
Guycandi : Rob Thornborrow
Gym Fanatic : Admire
Hoodsworld : Sexy Tuesday #2
Simple Answers... : The Men of Randy Blue
Truly Madly Deeply : Body Language

Rent (The Way It Was Intended)

As a big-budget Hollywood movie, the musical Rent found few fans...unsurprisingly, considering that the material is fundamentally at odds with the extravagances of cinema. But thankfully, the final Broadway performances last fall were documented for DVD, and Rent: Filmed Live On Broadway captures what the movie couldn't: the propulsive score, the earthiness of the characters, and the electricity of live performance.

The DVD is available tomorrow...but for an early treat, try out the 8.5 minute preview of the opening number, now showing on Amazon. Some of the young cast is, frankly, unfamiliar to me.. But it makes my heart glad to see old friends like Michael McElroy (playing Collins) and Tracie Thoms (reprising Joanne after playing the role in the movie) in the clip. My copy is already on its way from Amazon.

Tim Riggins, I Am Yours! (Unless Starbuck Calls.)

via Wikipedia

Is it me, or were the last seven days the best week in television history? If there was any doubt that TV has become the preeminent dramatic form of our age, this week put them to rest with jaw-droppingly brilliant episodes of Damages, Friday Night Lights, Battlestar Galactica, and Lost.

Lost is as dense and as complex as ever...I pity the poor fool who tries to jump into the series at this point. (Netflix the DVDs first!) But for die-hard fans like me, the dizzying pace of revelations, reversals and surprises feels like a string of earthquakes, rocking our foundations and expanding our sense of the island's potential. Time-travel is the major theme this year, but it's delivered in smart, serious doses that create character tension and dramatic possibility. And the cast continues to be the most underrated ensemble on television, with Emmy-worthy work already from Jorge Garcia.

Lost is flashy and chaotic, demanding attention like a spoiled child in every scene. By contrast, Damages is measured and unassuming...its power comes from lulling you into a rhythmic comfort, and then brutally yanking the dramatic rug out from under you. These plot upturnings are often unforgettable (last season's final scene with Zeljko Ivanek, for instance), but the best-ever happened last Tuesday, with a revelation about plaintiff Daniel Purcell (William Hurt) that now, six days later, I'm STILL not over. It was so bad, I actually felt pity for the dragon lady Patty Hewes (Glenn Close). It's dangerous writing at Damages, precarious and cavalier and slippery and menacing. But boy, when the risk pays off, it does so magnificently.

I'd been concerned that Friday Night Lights was losing its steam after three years, multiple time slots, and an ever-rotating set of writers. But last week my fears were put to rest, as the Dillon Panthers put out their first-string acting talent...Matt Saracen (Zach Gilford) panicked about the new freshman nipping at his heels, Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler) and Principal Taylor (Connie Britton) navigated the internecine educational system, and the new town socialite (Janine Turner) scorched the screen in her first big episode. Oh, and by the way? I've finally drunk the Kool-Aid regarding Tim Riggins (Taylor Kitsch). He is, unquestionably, the hottest piece of ass on television at the moment.

And saving the best for last: Battlestar Galactica. I'd previously thought the series' best moment was late in season 3, when the four Cylons were finally "switched on" by the classic song "All Along The Watchtower." But no more. Last week's episode (brilliantly written by Mark Verheiden and directed by Rounders' John Dahl) captured, in one bracingly tense hour, the military coup and uprising against Commander Adama and President Roslin. It was heart-pounding, viciously brutal, and perfectly plotted. Will this show ever, ever, ever win a major Emmy Award? If so, it should be for this episode. Perfection.

Showtune Sunday: Melanie Griffith in "Chicago"

Each February, when a wave of Hollywood stars decide they'll take a sabbatical from the rigors of moviemaking with a limited-run in some Broadway show, theatre fans begin their annual descent into dread. Sure, A-listers ensure that tourists and casual theatregoers will pack into Times Square, eager to touch the golden fleece of celebrity. But it also means, with very few exceptions (Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Reba McEntire, etc.), their lack of stage training and live-performance experience will verge on the embarrasing.

As a visual example, please enjoy Melanie Griffith, who doddered her way through Chicago back in 2003. After the disastrous turns by Morgan Freeman, Frances McDormand and Clay Aiken last season, who will be the big turkeys of 2009? (My money's on James Gandolfini, who begins previews at the end of the month in God of Carnage.)