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Thursday, February 19, 2009


American Idolatry: Tatiana Is Dead, Long Live Tatiana!

American Idol

Because I am nothing if not a generous humanitarian and a devotee of the soul, I have decided -- in light of Tatiana Del Toro's unceremonious booting from the ranks of American Idol last night -- to retract my death threats against her. May she live a long, unfulfilled life full of obscurity and cultural irrelevance, followed by an agonizing death involving some fatal tropical disease. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, sister.

I apparently missed (or misunderstood) the rule changes for this season, which involve kicking out all but three contestants in a single, vicious stroke. The three who voters chose to keep for the eventual "Final 12" were more compelling as narratives than as singers: the single mom (Alexis Grace), the telegenic country boy (Michael Sarver), and the melancholy widower (Danny Gokey). Of the bunch, I don't expect any of them to figure seriously in the finals, with the possible exception of Sarver, who might rally a genre voting bloc. As sad as Alexis and Danny's stories are, history proves that only in rare occasions (Fantasia Barrino) do these narratives translate into wins. Only to the next 12 of the Final 36 before the Final 12!
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Blogger Vance said...

Yes but don't count out the producers evil cunning plan as they will probably bring back Tatiana in the Wild Card round. She's not dead just yet so don't go all nice on me just yet. Keep your battleaxes ready.

While I don't think Alexis sob story will carry her through, I think Gokey's will, especially since he reminds us every possible minute he's on camera that his WIFE JUST DIED. ("Hero"? Clever manipulative move buddy!). I wish I were wrong but I have a bad bad feeling about it all.

Let's hope Kris Allen is as good a singer as he looks. We need a new saviour in Group 2.

2/19/09, 2:37 AM  
Blogger ladydisdain said...

Your AI recaps make me radiantly happy.

2/20/09, 2:53 PM  

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