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Thursday, October 18, 2007


The Confessions Meme

I got this meme about secret stuff, and I haven't done one in a while. And I'm feeling vulnerable. So enjoy my naked soul, everyone, which I am lying bare and exposed before you:

Taken a picture completely naked? Yes.

Made out with a friend on your MySpace/Facebook page? Many.

Danced in front of your mirror naked? Yes, in between reciting monologues and practicing my interview technique (for when I replace Oprah).

Told a lie? Never. Not a one. Nope.

Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Often.

Been arrested? Yes. (But it was for an equal rights protest. Not cool, like international drug smuggling.)

Made out with someone of the same sex? Heh. Next question.

Seen someone die? No. Wait, does David Hasselhoff's career count?

Slept in until 5pm? Yes.

Had sex at work? Yes.

Fallen asleep at work/school? All the friggin' time.

Held a snake? What, are you crazy?

Ran a red light? Yes.

Been suspended from school? No.

Totaled your car in an accident? Not exactly totaled it, per se...but I did render it inoperable.

Pole danced? What do you think I'm doing right now?

Been fired from a job? No. Close, but no.

Sang karaoke? Yes. In the right red wig, I look exactly like a young Bonnie Raitt.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Happened today, in fact. Told myself I wouldn't have bacon for breakfast. Then promptly ate the bacon. Mmmmm. Bacon.

Laughed until a drink came out your nose? Yes. Vodka burns.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes. Snowflake burns.

Kissed in the rain? LOVE to kiss in the rain. It rained here in Manhattan yesterday, in fact, so I grabbed a nearby homeless woman and went to town.

Sang in the shower? Usually.

Given your private parts a nickname? "Johnny Depp Jr." does not think this question is funny.

Ever gone out without underwear? Daily.

Sat on a roof top? Yes. In the late-90's during grad school, I lived in an exquisite pre-war brownstone with three really superb roommates (Damion, Justin, Robin, you are missed). We used to spend Saturdays suntanning on the roof, drinking and reading plays, talking about life and how we were going to take over the world. Fabulous memories.

Played chicken? No.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No. I'm big-boned. Takes a lot to push me anywhere.

Broken a bone? Too many to count, unfortunately.

Mooned/flashed someone? Yes.

Shaved your head? Yes.

Slept naked? Who doesn't?

Played a prank on someone? Yes.

Had a gym membership? Yes.

Felt like killing someone? Not since yesterday afternoon.

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes/Yes.

Cried over someone you were in love with? Oh honey, if you only knew...

Had sex more than 10 times in one day? Do we mean the number of orgasms? I haven't had ten myself, but in my youth my boyfriend Cheyne and I (miss you, Cheyne) managed 16 between us in one 24-hour marathon.

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No.

Been in a band? Yes, in high school. It was called (and I apologize for this) Idle Chatter. I played keyboards and co-wrote the songs. We sounded like Berlin mixed with Thompson Twins mixed with crap. Our big hit was called "Driving For An Insane Dinosaur." And no, I am (sadly) not making that up.

Subscribed to Maxim? For what?

Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? Yes. Jagermeister shot contests were a right of passage in my undergrad theatre department. My record was 24. The all-time record, held by Matt Gantz, was 37. He's dead now. Well, no he's not, but shouldn't he be after 37?

Shot a gun? Yes. Hope I never do again.

Had sex today? Depends on when you're reading this.

Played strip poker? Yes.

Tripped on mushrooms? Yes.

Donated Blood? Tried to, but homosexuals can't give blood. We're infected, haven't you heard?

Video taped yourself having sex? No.

Eaten alligator meat? Frog legs? No and yes.

Ever jump out of an airplane? Hell fucking no.

Have you been to more than 10 countries? No.

Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend? Of course. My friends are really, really hot.

Five bloggers you're tagging that you don't know how much you like their blogs? Buffalo Void, Aspects of Amber, Ed and Tony, 3Guys, 2K9s, and Age Appropriate



Blogger vance said...

Oh you know I love you but no way in hell you taking Oprah's job. I'm replacing her.

10/18/07, 10:02 AM  
Anonymous Son of Agamemnon said...

You've shot a gun? Really?


Details, please!

10/18/07, 10:17 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

Ack! G, I don't do memes! I'm actually kinda (in)famous for not doing them.


But this one was much more interesting than most. I'm glad you posted it. :)

I'll answer some here though, if that's okay!

Sex/orgasms: 8 times in one day. But by myself, back when Dan and I were doing the long-distance dating thing and my libido knew no bounds.

8 times with my Hitachi. And believe me, I was *damn* tired at the end of that day, lol! After the last one, I hung up the phone with Dan, leaned back against my pillow and "nighty'night!"

Never been suspended, arrested, pole danced, been fired, fallen asleep in public or totaled anything.

All the same sex stuff is a big no; you and I probably share similar feelings about anything sexual with a female. Heh.

Red lights? You mean, "now is the time to floor it", right?

Naked pictures/video of my glorious bod, oh yes.

Had feelings towards someone who didn't reciprocate? Once. It was rough. :(

And who doesn't love bacon or sleeping nude? NAZIS! That's who.

And I would love to hear more about your sex at work story. Hehehehe :) That's a long-held fantasy of mine that has alas! Never came true. :(

My one and only karaoke story...oh, that's a sad one. I sang (or tried to sing) "I Will Survive". They tried to get me off the stage, I was so drunk and awful. I was trying to sing the band "Cake"'s version, you know, where they say the F-word and they sing it much slower. I paid no attention to the screen and the karaoke style they had going; I had Cake's version in my head and that's what was coming out. Yeesh. O_o ahahahah

Good times, though, good times!

10/18/07, 1:05 PM  
Blogger T$ said...

uh-oh...guess I got to step to confessing.

10/18/07, 1:49 PM  
Blogger ModFab said...

Amber, that is hilarious! Thanks for the post. The sex at work story will have to wait, however...until we're sharing a drink at a dark bar and the music's playing really loud and no one but you can hear me. ;-)

And actually, sex with a female isn't so bad...on the Kinsey scale, I'm more of a 4 1/2, not a complete 6.

10/18/07, 3:38 PM  
Blogger T$ said...

I confessed:

Possibly True Confessions

10/18/07, 5:55 PM  

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