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Friday, August 10, 2007


Big Brother Blogging: Heaven, I'm In Heaven...

Last night's episode of was special for many reasons. First because the one and only QTA was sitting on my sofa, letting the gooey TV drama drip all over us. Second, because the entire episode was one-long bitchfight, better than an episode of Dyansty in its heyday.

But first, the Chenbot Fashion Report: her outfit of choice was a black-and-white pantsuit that featured an enormous red sash...a sort of kabuki belt thing. (QTA: "She looks like the lost third member of The White Stripes.") Me, I thought it made Chenbot Ass look enormous.

With Eric now on the chopping block and in the sights of Evil Daniele and Evil Dick, it was perhaps inevitable that the major battle would be over the vote of Amber...because she's the split vote and, as we all know, she's a hot sobbing mess. She's also a former junkie, terrible mother, and apparently a big fat sobbing liar...Dick exploited the fact that Amber lied about being pregnant with her boyfriend (TWICE) as something that Eric would use against her later in the game. And quicker than one of Dick's premature ejaculations, Amber went postal...screaming at Eric in the house and accusing him of everything under the sun. It was pretty damn horrific.

While Evil Dick smiled. He seems to have an astonishing power over these psychologically broken women (Daniele, Amber, Kail) that is painful to watch. I'm admittedly a fan of Eric's, but even so I think E.D. is a terrible human being, a brute that needs to be stopped...and preferably jailed. Little did I know what was in store...

The Chenbot diffused the tension with a dull-as-dishwater cast interview before moving to a montage where Evil Dick's friends were interviewed...and you're thinking What, He Has Friends? Well, "friends" might be a bit strong. More like minor rock musicians who seem to think he's a great drinking buddy. Good for them. I hope he rejoins your second-rate, has-been geriatric circlejerk soon. (This was followed by the Chenbot interview of HOH Daniele, who was as interesting as drywall. Then a piece on Kail's wimpy husband...yawn. The episode looked like it was going for a drive down Boring Ass Road. But then...)

The live vote is where the shizzle went DOWN. After privately promising a still-furious Amber that he would vote Eric out, Dustin switched up in the voting booth and voted for Kail...sending her home (finally!) in a 4-3 vote. Afterward, Dustin lied about it to Dick's face...LOVE IT! Love that the gay guy sent Kail packing, and love that he stood up to Dick's bullying. E.D. was furious that something had gone wrong with his master plan, and he was fuming. It was like he had smoke coming out of his ears. It was...glorious.

Off to the suddenly tense HOH competition...with two distinct sides suddenly made obvious in the house, it was clear that a great deal was on the line. In a Q&A about former housemates, the matchups were head-to-head, and it was literally all-out war. And who should come out on top in a brutal test of knowledge but...Jessica! We're guessing that this means a Daniele/Evil Dick nomination this Sunday, but who really knows? QTA, who is still laying on my couch cacking wildly about how much fun it was to see Evil Dick and Kail get their comeuppance, will have the full rundown at his site on Monday morning. Until then, sweet dreams...and Kail, if you're reading this by any chance: fuck you, lady.



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