American Idolatory: Bye Bye, Barba!
First, the good news: the terrifying, tone-deaf reign of Antonella Barba has come to a merciful end. Apparently, slutty MySpace photos will only get you so far in this world. Still, it was further than I imagined. Enjoy your Playboy spread, followed by a well-deserved bout of complete cultural obscurity.
Now for the bad news: Sanjaya Malakar somehow defied the odds and good taste and secured a spot in the Final 12, displacing two superior singers in the process. (Goodbye, Jared Cotter and Sundance Head, and also to Sabrina Sloan, who should have stayed in Haley Scarnato's place.) The judges, the contestants, and the audience sat shell-shocked when Seacrest announced that Sundance, not Sanjaya, would be going home. I'm just as appalled as everyone else; talent seems completely beside the point where this kid is concerned. A co-worker of mine suggested that all of India must be voting for him; at first I thought it was a really racist idea, but it seems as plausible as anything else. Don't people realize that as the competition continues, Sanjaya's weaknesses will become more and more pronounced...and embarassing to him? He's just a sweet kid. He's on the path to global shame.
But here's American Idol's Final 12. I've ranked them in this graphic from #1 to #12, according to who will be voted off in order. You'll have to guess, however, whether it's a horizontal, circular or vertical list. :-)