2007 Verve Awards

2006 Verve Awards


Best Arts and Culture Blog 2005 Queer Day Awards

Best Gay Blog Nominee 2004 Weblog Awards

Best Arts and Culture Blog Nominee

Monday, February 26, 2007

 

Oscar-ology: Hello J-Hud...Beyonce Called, She Wants Her Song Back

Yesterday was a good night for Boston gangsters and overwrought fauns, as the Oscars spread the love to The Departed, Pan's Labyrinth, and Little Miss Sunshine. It was a long and montage-heavy evening, of course, but the telecast itself was one of the best in years. My favorite moments while watching the TV at The Film Experience's swanky fete:

1) Lesbi-tastic Oscars!
Ellen Degeneres was absolutely the best host hands down since Billy Crystal, and should be asked back immediately for next year. But surprisingly, she wasn't the only Sapphic delight of the evening: Melissa Etheridge is now an Oscar winner (and Tammy Lynn Michaels smooched her on international TV), Queen Latifah and Jodie Foster brought stealth lesbian glamour to the presenters' podium, Portia de Rossi looked exquisite in blue, Notes on a Scandal was ever present, Marie Antoinette costume winner Milena Canonero wore a suit that would have made Gertrude Stein proud, and Abigail Breslin exhibited a tomboy streak even as she worked her strawberry princess dress. It was like a music festival, but without the Birkenstocks.

2) Hits and Misses
The 2007 Oscar winners were a jumble of surprises and yawning bores, perhaps reflecting the general lack of enthusiasm for 2007 movies. On the plus side were much-deserved wins for Marie Antoinette for costumes, Hudson for Dreamgirls, and Martin Scorsese getting all teary while accepting for The Departed. On the irritating tip, Pan's Labyrinth won three awards (which is exactly three more than it's worth), and Babel's weak score triumphed over fa superior competition.

3) Montages Are Like Heroin For Boring People
We need 6 of them? Really? There were two montage sequences that were so weird I didn't even understand what was being celebrated. And a note to the producers for next year: stick to a schedule. It's hard to feel suitably remorseful when the Dead People Montage starts well after midnight. It's like: Sorry you're dead, get on with it already.

4) Sherry Lansing Pretending That Paramount Didn't Fire Her Ass
Priceless.

5) Beyonce and J-Hud...Meow!
The best show in town last night, for my money, was the Beyonce/Jennifer Hudson caged deathmatch. First, Hudson wins the Oscar...and they cut to Beyonce for a reaction shot, where her tight-lipped smile barely conceals the hellfire fury shooting out of her eyes. Then later, during the Dreamgirls medley, Hudson duets with Beyonce all-friendly like...and then steals Deena's big number "Listen", right out from under Miss Thing. (Is that like, destiny, child?) I was all ready for some hair-pulling and body blows, or at least someone ripping out some extensions. But then Anika Noni Rose, aka "The Forgotten Dreamgirl", comes out in her million dollar Stewart Weitzmans and hits the high note...a piercing, gorgeous siren that seems to say "I can beat both you bitches down." Next to Cate Blanchett throwing Judi Dench into a bookcase in Notes on a Scandal, this was my favorite catfight of the year.

6) The Once and Future President
Al Gore (who is still my President, I don't care what anyone says) was his normal charming, witty, wonderful self last night. Flowing effortlessly from a hilarious joke announcing a run for President (the orchestra cut him off) into a passioned, non-partisan appeal for environmental activism, he was a master of the moment. If only Hillary, Obama, and Edwards were this on point.

7) Gorgeous Sea Foam (and The Bow That Ate Nicole Kidman's Head)
Although I'm conflicted about some of the hit dresses from last night -- Penelope Cruz's Versace was great (from the waist up), Reese Witherspoon was gorgeous but a little too icy -- I am nevertheless certain about my favorite gown of the evening. Kate Winslet rocked the old Hollywood glamour for a new century in an exquisite Valentino sea foam green number. I'd never have thought that color would be so gorgeous on her...but she is a goddess, so she could probably make a plastic bag work. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of Nicole Kidman, whose dress seems to have a bloody tumor sprouting from the shoulder, or Anne Hathaway, who chose the batwings-glued-on-my-boobs look.

8) Bloggers Get Drunk. Very Easily.
Or they did at The Film Experience's fabulous party, high above Manhattan on the 17th floor with a decadent parade of edibles made by His Royal Highness, The TFE Boyfriend (shout out!). While Queering The Apparatus sat on the couch and chatted up Radio Allegro's Ashley, Vern from Cinemarati sat quitely in the back, obviously wondering why Jack Nicholson had shaved his head. I got a scolding from My New Plaid Pants about my general movie malaise and my disaffection for Pan's Labyrinth in specific, but I lost the thread of his argument in the foggy scotch-and-soda haze that permeated the room. And speaking of drunkenness...

9) Latin Boys Dress Up Like Abigail Breslin, and Shake Their Moneymaker.
Will
, a fixture at these affairs, did not disappoint -- his recreation of Abigail Breslin's dance routine from Little Miss Sunshine, complete with headband and breakaway pants, was a sight that will forever be etched in my memory, like lasik surgery gone horribly awry. I adore Will, and would love to tell you that he was sober...but I would be lying. In a series of performances from nominated films -- performed by party attendees during the commercial breaks -- Kay stunned us all with her sapphically sensuous portrayal of Cate Blanchett in Notes on a Scandal. I'd tell you about the Dreamgirls fight/rehearsal scene, but it defies description.

10) Pilobolus ROCKS.
There were a few actual artists in the Kodak Theatre last night: avant-garde dance troupe Pilobolus, who performed quick shadow dances interpreting movies. Snakes on a Plane was so brilliant I nearly fell apart....especially since the snakes in question devoured Ellen Degeneres first.

How was your Oscar Night? What did you love, hate, or miss?

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