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Thursday, January 18, 2007


The Movie Soundtrack of Your Life

Got emailed this meme today:

QUESTION: If your life is a movie, what songs are on the soundtrack?

Here's how it works:

1. Open iTunes
2. Put it on shuffle and press play
3. For every question, type the song that's playing
4. Make up a Title and choose your Cast

Title: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Formica Countertop

Jake Gyllenhaal (as ModFab)
Tori Spelling (as Perez Hilton)
Kevin Federline (as Albert Einstein)
Gael Garcia Bernal (as ModFab's Secret Admirer)
and Special Guest Star Dame Judi Dench as M

Opening Credits: "Bad Mood", Lonnie Gordon
I can tell already...this is going to be one muthafuckin badass movie! A great start. I should do an action sequence or something.

Waking Up: "Back To Life (12" Mix)", Soul II Soul
A little sexy, a little funky...like my fine self. However do you want me, indeed.

First Day At School: "Children and Art", Maria Friedman
Wait, we can't go to show tunes this early in the movie! It is thematic, I guess...

Falling In Love: "Happy Ending", Mika
Dang, I don't even really like this song! Well, again it fits the moment. But...does it really say "Oscar-worthy movie", or does it say "very special episode of Dawson's Creek"?

Fight Song: "Space Age Love Song", A Flock of Seagulls
Ack. The gayest fight sequence ever. After a great start in the opening sequence, I'm embarrassed at how bad this movie is turning out. At least you know I'm not cheating.

Breaking Up: "A Pain That I'm Used To (2005 Jacques Lu Cont Mix)", Depeche Mode
Now THIS should be the fight song! A definite rebound from Flock of friggin' Seagulls.

Prom: "September", Earth, Wind and Fire
My favorite song of all time. Perfect. We're back, baby! Wait...am I Molly Ringwald, or am I Ducky?

Life: "Love's Divine (Deepsky Club Mix)", Seal
A great track, and the remix makes it a hip theme song for the movie. I guess. Right? Work with me, people.

Mental Breakdown: "Yummy", Gwen Stefani featuring Pharrell
Clearly, the mental breakdown is caused by anguish over how craptastic Gwen's new CD is.

Driving: "If You Really Love Me", Stevie Wonder
Not a bad driving song at all. Picture me, in Las Vegas, driving a 1950's convertible roadster wearing sunglasses and a long, flowing headwrap blowing in the wind behind me. I AM Grace Kelly.

Flashback: "The Number 1 Song in Heaven", The Sparks featuring Jimmy Somerville
Flashback, huh? Clearly, it's a really gay flashback. Either that, or Shelley Winters is swimming over from The Poseidon Adventure. That's still really gay, actually.

Wedding: "Mi Destino (Migs Summer Delight Mix)", Miguel Migs
In real life I really was a summer bride, so this house track kind of works. (My actual wedding was filled with classical music, so I guess the screenwriters are taking liberties to 'punch up the story', as they say on the Paramount lot. Hey, can Brad Pitt play my husband?)

Birth of Child: "O.G. Bitch (Smitty's Deep Guitar Mix)", Esthero
A completely nonsensical song choice...perhaps underscoring how ridiculous it is that I would ever have a child.

Final Battle: "Harper Valley P.T.A.", Jeannie C. Riley
Did I mention how frigging gay this movie is going to be?

Death Scene: "Hey Mama", Kanye West
"The characters were well drawn and the cinematography was powerful, but the whole thing fell completely apart in the final moments." - Rex Reed, The Observer

Funeral Song: "Second Time Around", Shalamar
At my funeral, apparently, my friends will be happily dancing to 70's disco. Nice. I'm DEAD, people. DEAD. Show some muthafuckin respeck.

End Credit: "Climb The Walls (Umbrella of Love)", United State of Electronica
Well, at least I end on a great party song. Still, I don't expect anyone will ask for a sequel.

I'm tagging the kings of the meme, Toons N Tunes, EdandTony, and QTA, and the kings of all media, Nathaniel, Nick, JA, and Joe.

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