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Thursday, December 14, 2006


Golden Globes: The Winners (and Losers)

Thanks to everyone who showed up to the Golden Globes Nominations Chat this morning...and if you didn't get the word, the nominations themselves were star-obsessed, ridiculous, fatuous nonsense. Is that a stretch? You decide: Matt Damon skipped so Leo DiCaprio could have two nominations, Jamie Foxx passed over in favor of Chiwetel Ejiofor in Kinky Boots, and United 93 and 5,732 other films beaten for Best Picture by the insanely bad Bobby. I'll be the first out of the gate to make predictions...no waiting until January for me!

Best Picture – Drama
The Departed
Little Children
The Queen

Bobby and Little Children let you know immediately what a complete joke the Globes are; both movies are disastrous wastes of celluloid. Of these five, only one really deserves the big prize: The Departed. Which means, of course, that the award will go to The Queen instead, because everyone loves Helen Mirren in dowdy glasses.

Best Picture – Comedy or Musical
Borat!: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
The Devil Wears Prada
Little Miss Sunshine
Thank You for Smoking

You can immediately kiss Smoking and Sunshine goodbye...neither found much love outside of this category, which implies weak voter support. Prada will get recognized elsewhere. That leaves us the boorish (Borat) versus the bootyshaker (Dreamgirls). If the HFPA wants to make a statement, picking Borat here would do just that.

Best Actor – Drama
Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Departed
Peter O’Toole, Venus
Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland

Whitaker, hands down. The only longshot is Will Smith, because he's the star of Seabiscuit, er, I mean Happyness.

Best Actress – Drama
Penélope Cruz, Volver
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Sherrybaby
Helen Mirren, The Queen
Kate Winslet, Little Children

A Dench vs. Mirren smackdown, with Mirren probably carrying the day. Look for a more serious repeat of this battle at the Oscars, when more people have seen the delicious Notes on a Scandal.

Best Actor – Comedy or Musical
Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat!: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Johnny Deep, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kinky Boots
Aaron Eckhart, Thank You for Smoking
Will Ferrell, Stranger than Fiction

With an astonishingly weak set of nominees, it would be nearly impossible for Sacha Baron Cohen to lose this.

Best Actress – Comedy or Musical
Annette Bening, Running with Scissors
Toni Collette, Little Miss Sunshine
Beyoncé Knowles, Dreamgirls
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
Renée Zellweger, Miss Potter

If Streep doesn't win this, there is no God. If Streep doesn't win this, I will sleep with Dick Cheney.

Best Supporting Actor
Ben Affleck, Hollywoodland
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
Jack Nicholson, The Departed
Brad Pitt, Babel
Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

This is where it gets interesting. Theoretically, Nicholson is the most popular guy here...but Wahlberg is coming on strong, and might pull enough votes away to make them both lose. There's a lot of Golden Globe love for Babel, which has to push Pitt into contention. But none of them will have the buzz that Eddie Murphy will have at voting time. (As for Ben Affleck, well, he can take comfort in one thing: he's nominated, and Matt Damon is not.)

Best Supporting Actress
Emily Blunt, The Devil Wears Prada
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Adriana Barraza, Babel
Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

If the two Babel actresses cancel each other out (and they will), and not enough people remember Blunt (which is possible), then it's down to Cate and Jennifer. And having seen both performances, I can tell you: Jennifer will be walking to the podium.

Best Director
Clint Eastwood, Flags of Our Fathers
Clint Eastwood, Letters from Iwo Jima
Stephen Frears, The Queen
Alejandro González Iñárritu, Babel
Martin Scorsese, The Departed

Boy, they really do love Clint, don't they? Sadly, though, it's not going to happen for him...after skipping The Departed in all the above categories, they'll make up for it here by honoring Scorsese.

Best Screenplay
Guillermo Arriaga, Babel
Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, Little Children
Patrick Marber, Notes on a Scandal
William Monahan, The Departed
Peter Morgan, The Queen

Morgan has been winning most of the precursors, and will pick up again here...unless Monahan has a really good publicist.

Best Original Score
Gustavo, Santaolalla, Babel
Hans Zimmer, The Da Vinci Code
Clint Mansell, The Fountain
Calo Siliotto, Nomad
Alexandre Desplat, The Painted Veil

Mansell's score was incredibly memorable, and if they'd like to make a point and honor The Fountain, this would be a fine way to do it. Sadly, it's also the only place to honor The Painted Veil, and Desplat -- the best film composer working today -- did even better work there.

Best Original Song
"A Father's Way" - The Pursuit of Happyness
"Listen" - Dreamgirls
"Never Gonna Break My Faith" - Bobby
"The Song of My Heart" - Happy Feet
"Try Not To Remember" - Home of the Brave

Like the programming on a bad adult-contemporary radio station, I detest these choices. Since I haven't heard the Seal song from The Pursuit of Happyness yet, I'll pray it doesn't suck and pull for that.

Best Foreign Language Film
Letters from Iwo Jima
The Lives of Others
Pan’s Labyrinth

You know something's fucked up when two of your 'foreign' films are directed by Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood. Having been disappointed by Pan and Volver and not having seen the other three, we'll hope for a tie between Lives of Others, which we hear is great, and Iwo Jima, which will keep the HFPA from giving Eastwood other trophies elsewhere.

Best Animated Film
Happy Feet
Monster House

I don't really care...so let's say Happy Feet. Sure. Fine with me.



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