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Saturday, November 25, 2006


Spoilers Ahead (Be Aware)

It doesn't come out until the end of December, but trust me when I say:

1) Notes on a Scandal is perhaps the greatest pedophilia-meets-lesbian-spinster movie ever made. It may be the only one, but it's still the greatest.
2) It's like Basic Instinct, only with Judi Dench playing the Sharon Stone role.
3) Or like Dangerous Liaisons without Malkovich...and Glenn Close is going after Michelle Pfeiffer for some hot girl-on-girl instead.
4) Or like Shakespeare...well, minor Shakespeare. Winter's Tale, Cymbeline, that sort of thing. Very arch dialogue, lots of raised eyebrows, lots of innuendo.
5) Or like Bride of Frankenstein...no, sorry, that's the score by Phillip Glass, which hits these hilariously enormous minor chords every time the sadistic lesbian is up to something.
6) Or like The Children's Hour. But with more blond highlights.
7) Or like if two immensely talented, Oscar-winning actresses were in an especially gripping episode of Laguna Beach, but set among the British middle class.
6) Or like Little Children if it were interesting, or The History Boys if it were serious.

I think most people will have a strong reaction to the film, bad or good; some PC gays will certainly be offended. But I had a GREAT time...it's so juicy and raunchy and soapy and did I mention the pedophilia AND the lesbian spinster? Judi motherfucking DENCH. You go, girl.

More later, after I finish cackling to myself...



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