2007 Verve Awards

2006 Verve Awards


Best Arts and Culture Blog 2005 Queer Day Awards

Best Gay Blog Nominee 2004 Weblog Awards

Best Arts and Culture Blog Nominee

Thursday, November 09, 2006

 

The Democratic Agenda

Now that the election is over, it's time to let the Republicans know what we're really planning. Here's our 25-point agenda. Read 'em and weep. [via The Right Was Right and Bloodless Coup]

1. Mandatory homosexuality.
2. Drug-filled condoms in schools.
3. Introduce the new Destruction of Marriage Act.
4. Border fence replaced with free shuttle buses.
5. Osama Bin Laden to be Secretary of State.
6. Withdraw from Iraq, apologize, reinstate Hussein.
7. English language banned from all Federal buildings.
8. Math classes replaced by encounter groups.
9. All taxes to be tripled.
10. All fortunes over $250,000 to be confiscated.
11. On-demand welfare.
12. Tofurkey to be named official Thanksgiving dish.
13. Freeways to be removed, replaced with light rail systems.
14. Pledge of Allegiance in schools replaced with morning flag-burning.
15. Stem cells allowed to be harvested from any child under the age of 8.
16. Comatose people to be ground up and fed to poor.
17. Quarterly mandatory abortion lottery.
18. God to be mocked roundly.
19. Dissolve Executive Branch: reassign responsibilities to UN.
20. Jane Fonda to be appointed Secretary of Appeasement.
21. Outlaw all firearms: previous owners assigned to anger management therapy.
22. Texas returned to Mexico.
23. Ban Christmas: replace with Celebrate our Monkey Ancestors Day.
24. Carter added to Mount Rushmore.
25. Modify USA's motto to "Land of the French and the home of the brave."

Labels:

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home