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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

 

Today's Gay Trifecta

Three stories to make your head explode:

1) Black Eyed Peas singer and skanky ho-bag Fergie has told the gay community to stop taking drugs. In a recent interview, she chastised gays about ecstacy and crystal meth use, warning that "it will creep up on you. Don't be fooled into thinking you're special." We could say the same to you, sister, especially after listening to your terrible single. (In answer to your lyrcial question, Fergs, the reason your "london bridge wanna go down" every time you see a man on the street is because you're easy and trashy.) A former crystal meth addict herself, Fergie also went on record to say that, yes, she is the pot, and the kettle is black.

2) Golan Cipel, the man who ruined the career of New Jersey governer Jim McGreevey in 2004 by going public with their homosexual relationship, said in an interview yesterday that he never had sex with McGreevey at all...he was just an innocent blushing flower, a delicate lily who was ruthlessly pursued by the evil homo governor. To hear Blanche Golan tell it, he was forced into McGreevey's bedroom after two shots of Jagermeister and literally pounced on. Two things: first, bitch, make up your mind, you either slept with him or you didn't. Second...do straight people still buy this gay predator defense? That gay men will sneak up behind you and rape you when you're not looking? That kind of obvious homophobic crap is sooooo 1974. McGreevey's memoir is out today, and we think it's probably a better guide as to what really happened.

3) Sorry, girls...your husband is probably queer. "A survey by the New York City Health Department has found that nearly 10 percent of male participants who identified themselves as 'straight' reported having sex with at least one man during the previous year. And of that 10 percent, almost 70 percent of them were married." Ouch. That's going to be one unpleasant dinner conversation when he gets home from work today.

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