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Thursday, July 13, 2006


Reality Report: Janice Gets Boys Naked

It's probably easier to put it all in one post, yes?

PROJECT RUNWAY: First off...thank God it's back. Although we wish Robert had won the challenge instead of that arrogant bastard Keith ("I've never made a dress before"...oh please, girlfriend), we were more shocked that Vincent's basket-hat ensemble -- an all-time Project Runway Hall of Fame disaster -- did not get him immediately booted. On first impressions (which will change), we love Michael, Kayne, Uli (aka this season's Kara Janx), and Alison. We also think Malan has a voice that is indistinguishable from Ursula in The Little Mermaid.

BIG BROTHER: Couldn't be happier, methinks. Janelle wins the veto -- her second win in as many competitions -- proving she's still the One Who Must Not Be Fucked With. (LOVE her.) But even two days later, I'm still haunted by Howie's amorous man-crush on Dr. Will, which is possibly the most hilarious homosexual relationship in the history of television. Howie and Will are cuddling, staring deeply into one another's eyes, and touching each other in a way that two straight men do not normally. When Howie told Will that he was his hero, I could swear I hear "Wind Beneath My Wings" in the background. (I am not immune to the cheap homolust of BB7, however...I admit to visiting woodville for the repugnant Jase, who looks great in his filled-out bathing suit...he's packing!) As to who will be out tonight? Only an idiot would let Alison stay in the game. Danielle's smart enough to lay low if she stays in the house, but Alison is a wildfire that could potentially burn everyone.

SUPERNOVA: Still in the early stages, the most underrated of reality shows is getting rid of the easy choices like Chris. We thought Jill redeemed herself nicely after her Courtney Love-inspired catastrophe, and Zayra is far too odd to let go this early in the competition. But lest you think we're pulling for someone else, our priorities are clear: we're still in love with Toby (ohmygodhe'ssooooocute) and Lukas (the punk kid we always wished we were in high school).

JANICE DICKINSON MODELING AGENCY: It's a terrible show, but it has one very important redeeming quality...Janice always manages to get her male models completely naked. Like, bare-assed. In every episode. And because we always strive to maintain the highest standards of decency and artistic rigor, the whole naked thing makes it a must see in the ModFab household. (Watching Janice destroy a one-of-a-kind Italian linen dress by jumping in a fountain is pretty cool, too.)

Like Supernova, we're just now getting to the point where shows like Hell's Kitchen and Last Comic Standing are getting interesting. So we'll starting writing about them when something actually worth writing about happens.
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