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Wednesday, May 10, 2006


American Idol: Elliot is Friggin' God or Something

I give up. Apparently, Elliot "Dental Hygiene Is Not Really Important" Yamin is the best singer in the history of singing. After performing two wobbly Elvis Presley covers last night, Randy, Paula, and Simon ignored his mistakes and fought to see who could suck Elliot's wang the longest and hardest. "This is your greatest performance ever," mused Paula. "The best of the night....the best of your life," raved Simon. "I change my mind, THIS is your greatest ever," enthused Paula after the second song, as she unbuttoned her jeans and offered Yamin a special treat called the "Corey Clark Swirl." Ryan Seacrest, for his part, revealed the new "I Heart Elliot" tattoo on his left butt cheek. Yeah. I'm bitter. Lil' bit.

It became clear early that Katharine McPhee was Simon's choice to leave. After her odd medley of "Hound Dog" and "All Shook Up," he laid into her with zeal; after her flat "Can't Help Falling in Love," Simon ripped her a new one. Although Daughtry and Hicks both had issues, the judges preferred to save the serious jabs for Ms. McPhee.

Will the pile-on by the judges rally Katharine's fan base? Maybe. She certainly deserves to stay over Elliott. But honestly, I'd be surprised to see him or Hicks go, and shellshocked to see Daughtry leave....in my mind, Taylor and Chris already battling it out at the finals.
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