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Monday, April 17, 2006


I. Hate. Tourists.

This was my mantra as I traveled Manhattan this weekend, where warm weather brought the photograph-obsessessed sidewalk hogs out in droves. I got especially homicidal trying to make the rounds of Times Square, where every corner was packed with immobile, open-mouthed rubes from Sheboygan agog at all the neon lights. (Clearly, they don't have neon or lights where they come from. Just imagine what they think of indoor plumbing, elevators, and neighborhood fixture Naked Cowboy.) I am generally a peaceful person, but pressed against 1,000 people trying to cross 45th Street, I will admit to calling 411 on my cellphone and asking for the nearest gun shop.

So one of our favorite blog humorists, This Is What We Do Now, hit my mood perfectly with their essay today: Things People In New York Do That Make The Rest Of Us Look Like Fucking Idiots. It may not be about tourists exactly, but...close enough.
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