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Monday, February 27, 2006


Oscarcasting: The Six Pick The Six

It seems like every damn day, there's a another blog telling you who's going to win the Oscars next Sunday. Not like it isn't obvious. (If you've been under a rock for the last six months, there's this little movie about gay cowboys you should see.) Because we like to be contrary, we've asked those supreme stewardesses of social climbing, The Mod Fab Six, to share their picks -- not on who WILL WIN, but who, in a universe more perfect than our own, SHOULD WIN. (MF6'er Nathaniel, dithering in Oscar hysteria, couldn't make up his mind, so your loyal editor stepped in to cover):

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: In the only near-sweep among our panel of experts, Nick, Dr. S. Melissa, StinkyLulu, and ModFab all pulled the lever for Junebug's Amy Adams. ("Because she almost made me cry, too," says misty-eyed Dr. S.) The only holdout: Par3182, who feels Brokeback's Michelle Williams should get the little gold guy on Oscar night ("And then Heath and Jake should reinact the scene from the film where she watches them make out." Ah, a boy can dream...)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Most of our panel were halfheartedly divided between Jake Gyllenhaal and George Clooney. ModFab and Nick weakly supported Clooney (Nick: "I did like Clooney, but I wish I liked someone more"), while Stinky and the good Doctor leaned Gyllenhaal's way (Dr. S: "Because, well, why not sweep?) Par3182 envisioned the best of both worlds in "a tie between Jake and George...and then they make out onstage....and the orchestra doesn't play them off...or maybe it does?" For her part, Melissa pushed a personal agenda for cinderella nominee Paul Giamatti: "Because he was once in a play at Yale with my husband. Okay, so he's also a great, understated actor."

BEST ACTRESS: The Six deviated from industry buzz here...don't tell them Reese is the frontrunner. It was Pride and Prejudice's Kiera Knightley for Dr. S, ModFab, and Stinkylulu, who argued "when you're THAT pretty, you really don't have to be THAT good." Nick halfheartedly endorsed Knightley and competitor Felicity Huffman, but wonders "why Maria Full of Grace or Vera Drake or Eternal Sunshine couldn't have voted this year, or why Joan Allen couldn't get a better publicist." For her part, Melissa liked the trannie known as Huffman: "She could play a bowl of oatmeal and I am pretty sure I would be enthralled." And even though Walk The Line's Miss Witherspoon will probably grab the brass ring on Sunday, her only Six Support came from our resident Aussie Par3182, who fessed up: "I haven't seen a single one of these nominees but I'll go with Reese because she comes across as so gosh darn adorable...but you just know she's actually colder and more ambitious than Nicole Kidman (and Ryan Phillippe is gonna get hurt if she doesn't win).

BEST ACTOR: Industry It Boy Heath Ledger attracted the eyes of Par3182 and Dr. S. ("I want him to have to redeem that drunken fuck-up at the Globes"), while Melissa and ModFab convened a Love Fest for Capote's Philip Seymour Hoffman (Melissa: "I like it when people win who have quietly put in years of quality performances, instead of throwing it to someone who finally isn't starring in Roar.") Nick would "check off Terrence Howard in an instant," while Stinkylulu sez that, regardless of Oscar, "David Strathairn gets the 'You Can Be My Daddy Award'."

BEST DIRECTOR: For Stinkylulu, ModFab and Par3182, there's only one viable choice: Ang Lee ("plus a couple of extra statuettes for The Ice Storm and Sense and Sensibility", adds Par). Nick "would eventually settle on Bennett Miller over Steven Spielberg." (He's a bit hard to please, that Nick.) But our female Sixers, Dr. S and Melissa, only had eyes for George Clooney. ("Doesn't black and white get you extra Oscar points?" wondered Doc.)

BEST PICTURE: Melissa continued her Clooney love by giving the big prize to Good Night, And Good Luck "because I'm all about the politics and about bucking the trend." Equally trend-bucking was Nick, who leapt aboard the struggling Capote train. Stinkylulu offered no preference; in a perfect world, "everyone would forget all about Best Picture, because who cares really." (Umm...we do.) That left the remaining 50% of the Mod Fab Six to bronco-buck over to Brokeback Mountain. Dr. S, Par3182, and ModFab say to their colleagues: if you can't fix it, you gotta stand it.

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