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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

 

Introducing The Mod Fab Six: Dr. S

Next up is the mysterious Dr. S, one of the two (biological) females among the Mod Fab Six, and arguably the most literary of our wild ones. An Aries currently residing in Ohio, she's the sole flyover state resident among the Six, which may account for her dapper sense of style, punctuated use of adjectives, and relatively giddy elation over disco iconography. By way of introduction to you, she's dreamed up a virtual meeting with her new superfriends:

In the movie of my life, this moment will require a Victory Montage, followed up immediately by a Meeting-My-New-Posse Montage, which I picture as something of an homage to (though also a crazy styling up of) that opening walk in Reservoir Dogs—just with better-looking, better-dressed people and without impending violence. What could the background music be? Digable Planets' "It's Good to Be Here" is too mellow, though it would catch the groove I know I'll be feeling when the "yeah! yeah!" wears off. The Chemical Brothers' "Galvanize" wouldn't be bad, since my finger is now on the button. Vanilla Ice's "Get Your Ass Up" might rock if he didn't suck so badly—though you maybe have to admire a guy who somehow got complimentary copies of his then-new single (with B-side: "Hot Sex") distributed at an Ivy League bookstore during textbook season. But I think I'm going with my old standby, the song that's gotten me through it all, the Beastie Boys' "Shake Your Rump": "Now I rock the block party at the drop of a hat / And I beat a body down with a load on my back." There's a great, collective raising of voices toward the end of that song that is my aural imagining of this new Six. I'm the one doing the disco call at the top of it all.

In this second montage, you can see me, wearing the badassest of tiaras especially for this occasion, slapping skin and doin' da butt with Nick, who's been my compatriot in culture snark for years already. I might have the mirrorball under my arm, since I carry it around on major occasions, and no party is really complete without a mirrorball. Melissa and I meet and greet and establish that yes, in fact, we were meant to know each other, as was foreshadowed by our having used the same "vote for me and I'll bake you stuff" gambit in the Smackdown--for which I've already forgiven her since we've staked out different culinary territory. Par3182 is maybe in a mask or deep shadow or similar, keeping himself tantalizingly almost anonymous while revealing a fact or two, just enough to keep the auto/biography scholar in me really intrigued by his enigmatic self-representation. Nathaniel I feel as though I already know, having heard and read so much about him from Nick, and so we share some kind of moment that bodes well for the multifarious madness coming next. And StinkyLulu and I bond immediately over the idiocy that is RateMyProfessors.com and over a new parody project on which I'm meditating. A busting of hot moves ensues. It is West Side Story meets The Company meets Bring It On meets Dirty Dancing meets Strictly Ballroom meets Rize meets This is Spinal Tap . The volume is at eleven. It's good to be here. Push the button. Get your ass up. Shake your rump.

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