Geldof Announces Live 8 Acts

As we previously reported, the mastermind behind 1985's historic Live Aid concerts, Bob Geldof, has announced a sequel event, Live 8, to be held in five cities in Europe and the U.S. on July 2. The concerts, held right before the G-8 Summit in Scotland, will hopefully bring the world leaders' attention to the staggering problem of global poverty.

As of this moment, the Live 8 concerts already will include (my favorites are linked):

LONDON - Geldof, U2, Sting, Annie Lennox, Elton John, Madonna, Paul McCartney, Snoop Dogg, REM, Scissor Sisters, Mariah Carey, The Cure, Joss Stone, Robbie Williams, Coldplay, Dido, Keane, Snow Patrol, Razorlight, Stereophonics, Muse, Velvet Revolver and The Killers. What to watch for: That final chorus of "Do They Know It's Christmas," hauled out once again in the middle of July.

PHILADELPHIA - The Dave Matthews Band, Will Smith, Stevie Wonder, Jay-Z, Bon Jovi, Puff Daddy, Maroon 5, Rob Thomas, Keith Urban, 50 Cent, Il Divo, Kaiser Chiefs and Sarah MacLachlan. What to watch for: To see if they break up this all-boy testosterone lineup with more than just McLachlan.

ROME - Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Duran Duran, Jovanotti, Nek, Laura Pausini, Vasco Rossi, and Zucchero. What to watch for: Whether pop-country superstars McGraw and Hill make it in the land of pasta and vino.

BERLIN - Lauryn Hill, Brian Wilson, A-Ha, Crosby, Stills and Nash, Bap, Die Toten Hosen, and Peter Maffay. What to watch for: You mean Lauryn Hill's not dead?

PARIS - Jamiroquai, Placebo, Andrea Bocelli, Craig David, Youssou N'Dour, Calo Gero, Kyo, Yannick Noah, Axelle Red, and Johnny Halliday. What to watch for: 80's tennis star Yannick Noah...he sings!

Already signed up to perform, but not yet announced for any certain city, are: The Rolling Stones, Destiny's Child, a reunited Pink Floyd, and Usher.

Geldof says Live 8 should exceed its predecessor in terms of viewership -- more than 2 billion people will be able to watch it over cable and satellite. AOL will carry the shows live on the Internet, bringing an unintentional irony to the event. (AOL: Not Fond Of Poor People.)

For the London concert at Hyde Park, tickets will be given out via a lottery next Monday, June 6. Tickets for the other venues -- Berlin's Brandenburg Gate, Philadelphia's Museum of Art, Rome's Circus Maximus, and a venue in Paris to be announced -- will be distributed via a similar lottery system.

Deep Throat Revealed

Dang...I was sure it was Zsa Zsa Gabor. But it seems to be a guy I've never heard of. Anyone want to fill me in?

Happy Anniversary

As of this morning, it has been exactly one year since Modern Fabulousity came kicking and screaming into the blogosphere...and what a journey it's been. Over 32,000 of you have visited the site since that first day, and I'm truly humbled by your support, friendship and kind words.

What is perhaps most gratifying about this blog thing is learning that there are others out there who are like me -- disillusioned by the death of culture, the spectre of imperialism, and the fame of Paris Hilton. I hope you'll keep looking for the unheralded fabulousities in our modern world -- and when you find them, email modern.fabulousity@gmail.com. If you build it, they will come; if you email it, I will blog.

Without getting too grand, it has been my great privilege to write for you each day, and I thank you very much for reading. You are the wind beneath my wings. Now, before we all get teary and sentimental, I return you to complaints about Bush, softcore gay porn, theatre minutiae, and our ongoing adoration of Kylie Minogue.

Seriously. Thanks.

Christian Slater: Fondling on the Upper East Side

Sounds like Christian Slater -- without a doubt our favorite Gleaming The Cube cast member -- enjoyed a few too many scotch-and-waters during his Memorial Day celebration. Which in and of itself is no biggie, right? Ahh, but that ol' devil alcohol has a way of sneaking up on you.

Currently starring in the awful Broadway revival of The Glass Menagerie, Slater spent his day off-stage getting shitfaced at one of Manhattan's finer drinkeries, and ended his salute to our nation's armed forces by groping a woman's behind as he staggered off into career oblivion the night. And although I have no doubt that the derriere in question belonged to a supa-fine slice of lady, we all know that age-old lesson -- that fondling someone else's cantaloupe will land you in jail.

Never one to miss a chance before the cameras, however, Slater stars in a fun slideshow of his arrest this morning, complete with surly cops and handcuffs. Amy at Newyorkology spills the details: the celebrity grope occurred near 93rd Street and Lexington at about 2 A.M. (that's where the police found him after the woman pointed at Slater and shrieked, "That's the louse, the one doing the bad Jack Nicholson impression! Arrest him!").

Now I say: to be lustily groped late at night on the Upper East Side by a once-famous, now-drunk Brat Packer...what's to complain about, really? Sadly, this woman disagrees, and maybe's she's right...this is not Slater's first arrest (see mugshot), nor his first problem with the fairer sex. Still, as regards this most recent charge, he yelled to reporters that "he's completely innocent." Which, as anyone who has seen Pump Up The Volume will tell you, is a dubious assertion at best.

Dick Cheney, Master of Disguise

Just read it. How Cheney can sleep at night is beyond me. How anyone voted for him and Shrub blows my mind.

When Paris Met Paris: And I Care Because....?

Paris Hilton gets engaged to an extremely rich (but unattractive) boy named...Paris. Ohmigod Paris, that's so funny, like, you are totally marrying a boy named YOU!

The ModFab verdict: it's either kismet or the apocalypse. Brace yourself for the imminent newlywed reality show, where we will of course be asked if we can handle her truth. I, for one, cannot.

Science tells us today, however, that this might not be the society-ridden clusterfuck it seems. In an analysis appearing today in The Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers in New York and New Jersey argue that romantic love is a biological urge distinct from sexual arousal. Which means that just because we have sex doesn't mean we're in love, Paris...and vice versa, BoyParis.

IFC Center Opens June 17th

Walking past the former Waverly Theater -- the famed movie palace best known as the birthplace of the Rocky Horror Cult and where I, as a young gay thing, had my idea of cinema forever changed by My Own Private Idaho -- it looks like its transformation and rebirth is almost complete. Renamed the IFC Center, it will have three screens and be run by the Independent Film Channel...a welcome alternative for those of us who'd rather die than go to the Angelika again.

They have signs up outside for hiring box office staff, they've changed the marquee logo twice (see inset), and most importantly, they've advertised their premiere offering: the recent Cannes-winning dramedy Me and You and Everyone We Know. Shweet!

Perhaps most cool, the IFC Center will have a film selection advisory board, including Alfonso Cuarón (Y Tu Mamá También), Richard Linklater (Before Sunset), Errol Morris (The Fog of War), John Sayles (Lone Star), Kevin Smith (Chasing Amy), and Steven Soderbergh (Solaris). Not too shabby. John Vanco, VP and general manager of the IFC Center, says "We're really looking at the Film Forum and Lincoln Plaza Cinemas as role models. They are theatres that have developed identities and reputations with their constituents and followers, in their neighborhoods."

Here's to hoping NYC has a quality new movie experience.

Blame The French

The citizens of France rejected the proposed European Union constitution yesterday, plunging the country into political disarray and jeopardizing the cause of European unity. Pretty clear margin, too: 55 percent to 45 percent.

Am I just an idiot about European politics, or is this a bad move on France's part? Look, I'm certainly not one of those freedom fries-eating, French-hating Americans...but isn't Europe's best chance to compete economically with the U.S. and Asia gained through banding together? Or am I completely wrong (which is quite possible)?

What's up with France, anyway?

This Week In Modern Fabulousity - May 30, 2005

The Fab Listings for this week:

FILM: With a smart cast of indie up-and-comers like Victor Rasuk, Emile Hirsch and John Robinson -- not to mention a buzzworthy director and Heath Ledger -- the skater-ific Lords of Dogtown may be what smart moviegoers do to celebrate the arrival of summer.

THEATER: Broadway's biggest night...The Tony Awards. Can Spamalot hold their faltering momentum? Can The Pillowman pull an upset? Has there ever been a better actress than Cherry Jones?

TELEVISION: A duel to the (reality show) death between 80's and 90's music legends: A Flock Of Seagulls, Arrested Develoment, CeCe Peniston, Loverboy, and Tiffany. Can the world get any better? Oh please, please, Hit Me Baby One More Time.

BOOKS: The master of historical imagination, Umberto Eco, publishes his first graphic novel, The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana. As heavenly to read as it is to look at.

Muffins and Bunnies

Absolute hilarity: the short Chuck Jones-ian gems at Muffin Films, which are exactly what they say they are. Not kidding.

Even better: Angry Alien, which has animated bunnies acting out classic films in only 30 seconds, including rabbit-ized versions of Jaws, The Shining, Titanic, Alien, The Exorcist, and It's A Wonderful Life.

Spring Cleaning

It's been getting a bit dusty around here, so I thought, there's never a better time to clean than now! So in the blogroll links, you'll find 20 new fabulous destinations, including Apartment Therapy, Aurgasm, Chromogenic, Unpartisan, The Search for Love in Manhattan, and Rod 2.0.

I've also updated the MF Del.icio.us page with other new goodies, including Buy Blue, Hot Review, Morning Sedition, Progressive Secretary, and The WYSIWYG Talent Show. Plenty to fill up a slow Memorial Day weekend!

Where I Won't Be Going On Summer Vacation

The holiest of cities, to hear the fundamentalists tell it...Colorado Springs. Read the Harper's article and be glad you live somewhere else.

Your Next President...

If the religious right has its way, it might be one of these guys, says George Will:

"Two candidates could have special strength with "the religious right and social conservatives in 2008. One is Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), "if in 2006 he survives what seems certain to be a difficult campaign for a third Senate term." The other will be Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KS), "whose recent travels have taken him to, among other places, Iowa, which is close to Kansas, and to New Hampshire."

President Santorum? Kill me now.

[via Political Wire]

Lost: Down The Hatch

If you're still bedeviled by the season finale of Lost last week, don't fear...the new season is only a mere three months away. Yes, I know, we're an immediate-gratification group around here, but patience is a virtue. (So I've heard.) Try to take comfort in this: even in Season 2, they still won't solve anything about this completely irritating, utterly captivating desert island. So there's no hurry, right?

Maryann, my favorite Lost fanatic, tipped me off to some excellent diversions to enjoy while we all sit around and contemplate what Locke and Jack see at the end of that hatch.

First, visit the Oceanic Air website, an ingenious little bit of mystery. The plane that crashed on the island was Oceanic Air Flight 815, and supposedly the company went out of business after the crash. Digging around their still-functional site, however, uncovers some interesting details for Season 2...like, the plane actually did land in L.A. Whaaaaaaaaaaa?!?!?!?!

More fun can be found at I Am Lost, a treasure hunt-like tour around the island. It's best if you pretend, like I do, that you are Sayid's incredibly hot boyfriend. I realize he's not gay, but a man can dream, can't he?

Advertiser Knob-Polishing: Island House and Hopeless Heteros

Two new friends have joined the ModFab family, just in time for Memorial Day. The first is the essential support group, Parents and Friends of Ex-Straights. It's hard to be straight in today's society -- pretending to be attracted to Tobey Maguire or Tara Reid is a full-time job. Just look at how hard Tom Cruise works at it.

The work of PFOXS helps those who have chosen to leave behind the hetero lifestyle -- the group offers support, hair care tips, and free copies of Fischerspooner CDs. Read more about their work, and support their essential efforts today.

For those of you who are already gay -- or if you're like Tim, and can easily pass for gay in a dimly-lit bar -- you should immediately make summer vacation plans for Island House, a simply stupendous resort for gay men in Key West. With fabulous rooms, a heated pool, sauna, steam room, Jacuzzi, health club, it seems a delicious slice of homo heaven. Oh, and did I mention it's clothing-optional? If even half of the gorgeous guys on their site are there, this may just be the greatest spot of earth.

Major Fabulousity: George C. Wolfe

The immensely talented director/writer steps down after 12 years at the Public Theater, where he championed a multi-cultural spirit that made the institution America's most important and most essential theatre company. You can thank him, in whole or in part, for Angels In America, Topdog/Underdog, Jelly's Last Jam, Take Me Out, Fires In The Mirror: Crown Heights, Elaine Stritch at Liberty, Lackawanna Blues, Radiant Baby, Bring in Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk, The Ride Down Mt. Morgan, Harlem Song, Spunk, Twilight: Los Angeles 1992, Amistad, A Language of Their Own, Ghetto Superstar, The Wild Party, The Colored Museum and his latest directorial effort, the Tony-winning Broadway musical Caroline or Change.

Now off to make movies -- but with a planned return to theatre in 2006 with Meryl Streep and Tony Kushner -- George leaves behind a legacy that few others will attain. Bye George...come back soon.

The Memorial Day Mixtapes

Of course you already knew that Nick of Nick's Flick Picks was a consummate movie queen critic, but did you know he also has terrific tastes in pop music? Just in time for Memorial Day, he's posted his Doctoral Dissertation Mix, a selection of tracks that helped to transform him from plain old Mr. Nick into the far sexier Dr. Nick. (Not to mention it helped him write that dissertation faster.)

There's not a track on this widely varied selection that I don't love, and some of the choices -- vintage Eurythmics, classic Jill Scott, obscure Cassandra Wilson, thumpin' Destiny's Child and some bootyshakin' from The B-52's -- are downright inspired. I especially love the mental image I have of Nick dancing around his apartment, lip-synching the words to "Fancy" by Reba McEntire. Here's your one chance, don't let me down...indeed.

Over at my more regular musical buddy Arjan's site, he's got a mixtape of his own for Memorial Day: an internet gorge-a-thon of videos, interviews, polls, gossip, and the essential news that Norway's proudest sons, A-Ha, have a new album coming out. It's a trippy read, perfect for surfing while sitting on the beach of your choice.

America: Prisoner Abuse Is Our Middle Name

From the Washington Post: "The latest FBI documents detailing allegations of prisoner abuse at Guantanamo Bay are, like previous FBI documents, highly disturbing. They contain prisoners' descriptions of beatings, strippings and abuse of the Koran....But the status of these documents is nearly as disturbing as their content. They can be found, again like previous FBI documents, only on the Web site of the American Civil Liberties Union, which obtained them by suing the government under the Freedom of Information Act. They did not, in other words, appear in the context of a government or military investigation."
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First off, thank God for the ACLU (and feel free to donate liberally, pun intended). Second, however -- how much more evidence do we need that the Bush Administration is trying to hide its abuses? When will we hold them accountable? How can we not hang our heads in shame?

I don't want a country without decency or honesty, without civility or humanity...we teach our children not to be bullies, and then we grow up to be exactly that.

Colin Farrell: You Tell Me...

...what do you think he's doing? Yep. Me too.

[Thanks to Oscillate Wildly]

Friday Hot Guy Blogging: Fleet Week

You know it's spring in New York when Fleet Week arrives. Every day, there are luscious examples of our nation's finest seamen (heh, seamen) wandering the streets, taking in the sights, catching a Broadway show, picking up copies of HX, and more than a few of them asking where Splash is. What a thrill to have patriotism and homoeroticism collide, even if only for a few days. And a note to our visiting Naval guests: do ask, do tell!

Ralph Reed Down, Hillary Up

More signs of things turning around, maybe? Former Christian Coalition/Operation Rescue wingnut Ralph Reed has been fired by Microsoft. And in the meantime -- for the first time ever -- a poll shows that Hillary Rodham Clinton would win a presidential election.

While these actions ultimately mean little, I have to wonder...is the pendulum slowly starting to swing back to the middle?

Going Into Lockdown

More than 40,000 Iraqi soldiers in Baghdad begin a massive operation to hunt down insurgents today. While I realize there is insurgency violence that must be stopped, does anyone else think that this suppression looks like democracy? When I was growing up, the anti-Communist fervor against Russia and China was directly because of actions like this.

Helen Thomas Is God

From the White House Press Briefing (and borrowed from RosieBlog):

HELEN THOMAS: The other day — in fact, this week, you said that we, the United States, is in Afghanistan and Iraq by invitation. Would you like to correct that incredible distortion of American history —

MR. McCLELLAN: No, we are — that’s where we currently —

HELEN THOMAS: — in view of your credibility is already mired? How can you say that?

MR. McCLELLAN: Helen, I think everyone in this room knows that you’re taking that comment out of context. There are two democratically-elected governments in Iraq and —

HELEN THOMAS: Were we invited into Iraq?

MR. McCLELLAN: There are two democratically-elected governments now in Iraq and Afghanistan, and we are there at their invitation. They are sovereign governments, and we are there today —

HELEN THOMAS: You mean if they had asked us out, that we would have left?

MR. McCLELLAN: No, Helen, I’m talking about today. We are there at their invitation. They are sovereign governments —

HELEN THOMAS: I’m talking about today, too.

MR. McCLELLAN: — and we are doing all we can to train and equip their security forces so that they can provide for their own security as they move forward on a free and democratic future.

HELEN THOMAS: Did we invade those countries?

MR. McCLELLAN: Go ahead, Steve.

Unbelievable. But it's nice to know there are still a few true journalists around.

America: Getting Redder All The Time

Daily Kos has a fascinating chart of census trends. You're like...census trends?!?! What's so damn fabulous about that? Well, take a look. It shows how populations shifts among states will affect future electoral votes.

The long and short of it: Florida, Texas, and Arizona are getting a LOT bigger over the next 20 years or so, while New York, Pennsylvania and Illinois will be reducing in population size. Red gains, blue loses. The only states really bucking the trend are Ohio (currently red, but losing 4 electoral votes by 2032) and California (blue and even bluer, gaining 2 electoral votes in the same period).

Now, does this mean that red states will have even more power in the future? Not necessarily...it's possible that progressive voters will be the ones moving to those states, and change them from red to -- well, if not blue, at least a nice shade of purple. Time will tell.

Being A Republican: A Real Bitch Sometimes

Republicans sure have it rough. I mean, yes, they own the White House and the Congress and the Judiciary...but when do they ever get some "me" time? Just look at how hard their lives are, and count yourself lucky you don't have to be one:

- Being a newly-minted Republican requires a snippy selfishness that I hadn't previously been aware of...and now, thanks to South Dakota's Junior Senator John Thune, I am now clued in. (Hey, South Dakotans...missing Tom Daschle yet? Yeah, I thought so.)

- After bashing Newsweek like a crack whore and endlessly crowing about liberal media bias for the last ten days...it turns out that Guantanamo Bay soldiers were desecrating copies of the Koran after all. Not to mention beating prisoners without cause. And yes, flushing was involved. Damn that ACLU for their accursed fact-finding! Don't Republidorks ever get a break?

- First some of the stinkin' moderates defected on the filibuster, and now there may be dissent within the Republi-ranks on the John Bolton U.N. nomination, spearheaded by Ohio Senator John Voinovich. Especially now that (damn it!) Bolton may have mishandled sensitive National Security Agency material. What's a gun-toting, fetus-clutching conservative to do?

- Studies show that being a lifelong Republican can make you look like this. The process, known as Voinovichiation, involves pulling the skin from behind your Dumbo-like ears and letting it hang precipitously from your jowels. Ewww.

FabGadget: WikiTrivia

By now most people on the web are familiar with Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone (and everyone) can contribute to. It's a great but wildly uneven resource, as odd as it is essential.

The kids over at Google Blogoscoped have turned Wikipedia into a pretty entertaining game. WikiTrivia uses the database to conjure up wacked-out definitions, and you have to guess what in the blue blazes the entry is referring to.

You can play WikiTrivia in a number of categories, including Comics, Movies, Sports, Blogs, Politics, Science, Literature, Music, Geography, Programming and the most difficult of all, Miscellaneous. I tackled the Movies category first, and did pretty well...but the Literature category threw me for a loop. Even so, it's a great way to blow through those irritating slow periods of your work day.

Carrie

First a slasher flick, now a superstar. The dark lords of the underworld win again.

Priscilla Owen Wins Approval

And the world shudders in anticipation of the imminent Republican back-slapping, high-fiving and dick-waving.

I need a Midol.

Strange Bedfellows

Israeli performance artists and longtime romantic partners Gil and Moti are taking Middle Eastern politics to the next level...by literally making love, not war. The two men are seeking to include an Arab man as a third romantic partner in their relationship, and put the trio in bed and on display as part of Sleeping With The Enemy, running now through June 5th at Jack The Pelican Gallery here in New York.

Before you dismiss the idea, read what the artists have to say. First off, it's not about sex at all...it uses the idea of romance as a metaphor to counter ethnic and religious intolerance. Yeah. Exactly.

I'm undecided on the work myself...it seems equal parts social commentary and indulgent bullshit. Your thoughts?

Idols and Stars: Bo, Carrie, Sergio, and Dave

Of course it's Wednesday, and for most of the citizens of Planet Earth, that means only one thing: the final showdown. No, no, no, not the Senate filibuster...Bo and Carrie, of course.

I have to admit to skipping the final American Idol performances last night because...well, if the truth be told, I wasn't that interested. I'd love to see Bo kick the country bumpkin's out-of-pitch ass, but then, I'm an arrogant gay New York liberal. We are indeed a divided country.

The results of our ModFab Poll, by the way, show that tonight's American Idol winner will be...Kylie Minogue. But that's nothing new -- Kylie wins every day at Modern Fabulousity. :-) Among the actual contestants, Bo beat Carrie (and Ralph Nader) handily.

There are other reality shows wrapping up this week -- Sergio Mora won a unanimous decision in last night's finale of The Contender, an episode which primarily distinguished itself by having Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz in the audience. Theoretically live from Caesar's Palace, the show whimpered to its conclusion. Truthfully, if it weren't for the really hot guys, I'd have never watched a second.

Things look better for Rock Star: INXS, which announced two big elements in preparation for its June 11th premiere on CBS. ONE: the competition will run three nights a week (Monday thru Wednesday). TWO: It will be hosted by Brooke Burke and Dave Navarro, the androgynously super-sexy guitarist of Jane's Addiction and Red Hot Chili Peppers fame. Dave is no stranger to the world of televised reality, having spent a season on MTV with his wife Carmen Electra. He also has a fascinating blog, for those interested in such things.

Shaking Out The Compromise

The deal struck by moderate Republicans and Democrats this week did save the filibuster, which anyone who cares about freedom can be happy about. When right-wing radicals like Richard Viguerie are royally pissed, you know a good thing has occurred. ("This vote was a great opportunity to get control of all three branches of government," Viguerie says. "And then the moderate and liberal Republicans took it away from us.")

But Lord, did this victory cost us. The three judges that will get a pass-thru in this deal -- Texas Supreme Court Justice Priscilla Owen, California Supreme Court Justice Janice Rogers Brown and former Alabama Attorney General William Pryor -- have extensive homophobic records and terrifying civil rights opinions on their resumes.

Hilary Rosen justifies it to herself, and maybe to you, in this essay...she recognizes the costs, but thinks ultimately we won the war. I'm not so sure. We're deep in enemy territory when getting Owen, Brown and Pryor is seen as a win...

2005 Tony Awards: ModFab Picks The Winners

So here they are, finally...the picks. The biggest news, probably, is that I'm predicting complete shut-outs for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and Glengarry Glen Ross, a fact that surprised even me. They are great productions -- unlike my other big shut-out (Sweet Charity) -- but I couldn't find any place where they don't get beaten by better efforts. What can I say, it was definitely a better-than-average season on Broadway.

As proof of that, you'll see no runaway winners here...the awards are spread around pretty evenly, with no one winning more than four. But enough chit-chat, here's the choices and the analysis behind them:

BEST PLAY
Democracy by Michael Frayn
Will Win: Doubt by John Patrick Shanley
Gem of the Ocean by August Wilson
Should Win: The Pillowman by Martin McDonagh

With three great plays in contention this season -- Democracy was the other one -- Broadway suffered a rare embarrassment of riches. And while Doubt and Democracy are excellently constructed works, neither possesses the sheer love for theatrical storytelling the way The Pillowman does. By turns spooky, funny, violent and meditative, McDonagh's wholly unique experience is what the theatre was designed for.

BEST MUSICAL
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Will Win: Monty Python's Spamalot
Should Win: The Light in the Piazza
The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
If the play category was an embarrassment of riches, the new musical category is the mother lode, with four very good entries. None of them, however, is perfect -- Spelling Bee is too simple, The Light in the Piazza too dense, Spamalot too silly, and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels too old-school. Given their comparative weaknesses, only one of them -- Piazza -- deserves to join the pantheon of great musicals. (That won't stop the $25-million-and-counting behemoth Spamalot from owning the category, however.)

BEST BOOK OF A MUSICAL
Jeffrey Lane, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Craig Lucas, The Light in the Piazza
Eric Idle, Monty Python's Spamalot
Will Win/Should Win: Rachel Sheinkin, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
The superior effort in this category belongs to Sheinkin, who struck an inventive balance between childish whimsy and adult comedy with the kids of Spelling Bee. A win for her would be historic, as one of the few women ever nominated in this category. However, I'm concerned that the sizeable support for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels will put Jeffrey Lane, a well-liked theatre and film writer, over the top. It'll be close.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Will Win: David Yazbek, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Should Win: Adam Guettel, The Light in the Piazza
John Du Prez and Eric Idle, Monty Python's Spamalot
William Finn, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Everyone in this category is a contender, but we can probably discount Eric Idle, whose musical prowess is probably the least impressive component of Spamalot. That leaves one member of the Old Guard (William Finn, of Falsettos fame) and two young turks, Full Monty composer Yazbek and Floyd Collins' Guettel. Finn has won before, and Spelling Bee's songs are a bit ephemeral set against the work of the other nominees. And although Guettel has both complexity and legacy on his side (he is the grandson of Richard Rodgers), I think the nod will go to Yazbek, who many people still was robbed when The Producers trumped Full Monty four seasons ago.

BEST REVIVAL OF A PLAY
Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Should Win: Glengarry Glen Ross
On Golden Pond
Will Win: Twelve Angry Men
Having run for almost the entire season, Twelve Angry Men's solid performances have been seen by literally everyone, and I think its longevity will help it carry the day. There will be strong challenges, however, from Kathleen Turner's hurricane revival of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and my choice for the award, David Mamet's devastating Glengarry Glen Ross. Freakishly timely and emotionally bracing, Mamet's tour-de-force features an astonishing ensemble and a career-best performance by Liev Schreiber.

BEST REVIVAL OF A MUSICAL
Will Win: La Cage aux Folles
Should Win: Pacific Overtures
Sweet Charity
La Cage pretty much wins this weak category by default, having to beat only the long-closed Pacific Overtures and the hobbled Sweet Charity to claim the prize. Savvy voters, however, should take a long second look at their memories of Overtures, which featured an all-Asian, all-terrific cast in Sondheim's difficult but rewarding musical about imperialism. Not for everybody, sure...but of the three choices, it was undeniably the best.

BEST SPECIAL THEATRICAL EVENT
Will Win/Should Win: Billy Crystal: 700 Sundays
Dame Edna: Back with a Vengeance!
Laugh Whore
Whoopi the 20th Anniversary Show
Otherwise known as the one-person-show category, Billy Crystal's soggy memoir will best the other mediocre candidates, which were too bitter (Whoopi), too slight (Dame Edna), and tooooo looooong (Laugh Whore).

BEST LEADING ACTOR IN A PLAY
Philip Bosco, Twelve Angry Men
Should Win: Billy Crudup, The Pillowman
Bill Irwin, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
James Earl Jones, On Golden Pond
Will Win: Brían F. O'Byrne, Doubt
It's a stunning roster of talent in this category: masters Bosco, Irwin and Jones are all exemplary in their performances, especially Irwin, who holds his own with Kathleen Turner (no easy task). But I think the younger talents are the shining lights of the season. Last year's Tony winner O'Byrne will probably repeat for his turn in Doubt, but I thought that Billy Crudup stretched himself remarkably in the disturbing fantasia of The Pillowman. (If there is a spoiler, however, I bet it's Bosco.)

BEST LEADING ACTRESS IN A PLAY
Will Win/Should Win: Cherry Jones, Doubt
Laura Linney, Sight Unseen
Mary-Louise Parker, Reckless
Phylicia Rashad, Gem of the Ocean
Kathleen Turner, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
With three of the well-regarded nominees -- Laura Linney, Mary-Louise Parker, and Phylicia Rashad -- in shows that have been closed for months, it's really only a two-woman race. And while Kathleen Turner is quite formidable in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, she hasn't got the theatrical chops of Jones, who simply astonishes as the determined nun of Doubt. Expect her to walk away with it.

BEST LEADING ACTOR IN A MUSICAL
Hank Azaria, Monty Python's Spamalot
Gary Beach, La Cage aux Folles
Will Win/ShouldWin: Norbert Leo Butz, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Tim Curry, Monty Python's Spamalot
John Lithgow, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
A process of elimination: With Hank Azaria and Tim Curry doing passable-but-not-exemplary work in Spamalot, I expect the show's fans will split the vote. Not so with the pair from Scoundrels; Lithgow has won recently (for Sweet Smell of Success), and has taken a backseat to his co-star in the awards season. Which leaves Gary Beach, who has been at the center of the backstage dramas over at La Cage aux Folles...and he won recently too, for (a much better performance in) The Producers. Add to that the fact that Norbert Leo Butz is long overdue for attention, is a well-regarded Broadway baby (Rent, Wicked, Thou Shalt Not, The Last 5 Years), and turned in the best comic performance on the Great White Way since Nathan Lane played Max Bialystock...well, I'm guessing it's his turn. And much deserved.

BEST LEADING ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL
Christina Applegate, Sweet Charity
Will Win/Should Win: Victoria Clark, The Light in the Piazza
Erin Dilly, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Sutton Foster, Little Women
Sherie Rene Scott, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
First, a quick note to Christina Applegate, Erin Dilly and former winner Sutton Foster: sometimes, it's just an honor to be nominated...and that will include this time. The only real competitor is Sherie Rene Scott, but her role in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is too small to attract many votes. If I were in Vegas, I'd take Victoria Clark to win. She received the best reviews of the year for The Light in the Piazza, and even the show's naysayers admit that her performance is flawless.

BEST FEATURED ACTOR IN A PLAY
Alan Alda, Glengarry Glen Ross
Gordon Clapp, Glengarry Glen Ross
David Harbour, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Liev Schreiber, Glengarry Glen Ross
Will Win/Should Win: Michael Stuhlbarg, The Pillowman
It's a damn shame, in some ways. Glengarry Glen Ross is a great show by a great ensemble, but the Tony rules committee refused to divide them according to Lead and Supporting roles, lumping the entire cast into the Supporting area. Had Alan Alda been in the Lead category (and he should have been), he would have given the others a run for their money...leaving Liev Schreiber, in his best stage performance ever, to clean up in this category. But with them both nominated here (and joined by castmate Clapp), they will split the vote and leave the show with nothing. The silver lining: that leaves a spot to recognize The Pillowman's extraordinary work by Stuhlbarg, who turns the play on his finger the way a pro might do to a basketball. He is the show's soul and its core, and a Tony win here will ease the pain as Doubt sweeps many of the other categories.

BEST FEATURED ACTRESS IN A PLAY
Mireille Enos, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Heather Goldenhersh, Doubt
Will Win: Dana Ivey, The Rivals
Should Win: Adriane Lenox, Doubt
Amy Ryan, A Streetcar Named Desire
Lenox has been picking up most of the precursor awards this season, but she's never been up against her co-star Goldenhersh, or up against a certifiable Broadway legend. Dana Ivey fits that bill well, and as the sole nomination for the well-regarded Lincoln Center revival of The Rivals, it's a chance to recognize both a distinguished career and an entire production. With Lenox losing some votes to Goldenhersh and the talented newcomer Mireille Enos of Virginia Woolf, she'll narrowly miss the big award...and it's a damn shame. Her small but crucial part in Doubt is a riveting tour-de-force that routinely gets applause.

BEST FEATURED ACTOR IN A MUSICAL
Will Win/Should Win: Dan Fogler, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Marc Kudisch, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Michael McGrath, Monty Python's Spamalot
Matthew Morrison, The Light in the Piazza
Christopher Sieber, Monty Python's Spamalot
Despite the fact that I find Chris Sieber to be the most gorgeous hunk on Broadway (and an openly gay one, to boot), I think most Tony voters see Spamalot as an ensemble effort. Morrison is the weakest link in the Piazza cast, and I doubt he'll find much support here. That leaves a Broadway veteran, Kudisch (Assassins), versus a newbie, Fogler. I'm going to play the odds -- namely, that Jan Maxwell will win the Supporting Actress category (see below), and no one will want to vote for the terrible Chitty Chitty Bang Bang twice in a row. Plus, voters will want to recognize the charms of Spelling Bee somewhere, and Fogler's hilarious and heartbreaking performance would be a perfect opportunity.

BEST FEATURED ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL
Joanna Gleason, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Celia Keenan-Bolger, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Will Win: Jan Maxwell, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Kelli O'Hara, The Light in the Piazza
Should Win: Sara Ramirez, Monty Python's Spamalot
There were two great comic turns in this category this year: Joanna Gleason's deliciously deadpan romantic in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and (my favorite) Sara Ramirez, chewing every available piece of scenery to great effect in Spamalot. Both are going to lose, however, to a Career Achievement Award for Jan Maxwell. Which is a real tragedy, since I'm guessing even the always-wonderful Maxwell is mightily embarrassed to be seen onstage with a flying car.

BEST SCENIC DESIGN OF A PLAY
John Lee Beatty, Doubt
David Gallo, Gem of the Ocean
Santo Loquasto, Glengarry Glen Ross
Will Win/Should Win: Scott Pask, The Pillowman
With Doubt's set being a terrible letdown and Gem of the Ocean being to majestic for its own good, it'll be a battle of urban detritus (Glengarry) versus Marxian minimalism (Pillowman). Without spoiling the show for those who haven't seen it, I think it's Pillowman by a country mile.

BEST SCENIC DESIGN OF A MUSICAL
Tim Hatley, Monty Python's Spamalot
Rumi Matsui, Pacific Overtures
Anthony Ward, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Will Win/Should Win: Michael Yeargan, The Light in the Piazza
Flying cars have a technical impressiveness, and knights who say "Ni" have a campy gregariousness. But it's been a long time since Broadway saw a magnificence like that of the Italian vistas in The Light in the Piazza. The best set this year, or any other for that matter.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN OF A PLAY
Should Win: Jess Goldstein, The Rivals
Jane Greenwood, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Will Win: William Ivey Long, A Streetcar Named Desire
Constanza Romero, Gem of the Ocean
Voters will throw a bone to the Roundabout's uneven production of Streetcar and its legendary designer William Ivey Long, but the only superior effort in this category belonged to the witty period costumes of The Rivals. The added benefit is that I "friend-of-a-friend" know the good Mr. Goldstein, and there's not a designer in New York more deserving. Good luck, Jess.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN OF A MUSICAL
Tim Hatley, Monty Python's Spamalot
Junko Koshino, Pacific Overtures
William Ivey Long, La Cage aux Folles
Will Win/Should Win: Catherine Zuber, The Light in the Piazza
I don't really see a need to give Mr. Long two awards, however. Not when there are those gorgeous, Fellini-inspired 1950's fantasies springing fully formed out of Catherine Zuber's inventive mind. Piazza should triumph easily, and if it doesn't, there is no God (in the theatre, anyway).

BEST LIGHTING DESIGN OF A PLAY
Pat Collins, Doubt
Donald Holder, Gem of the Ocean
Donald Holder, A Streetcar Named Desire
Will Win/Should Win: Brian MacDevitt, The Pillowman
I actually thought that Donald Holder's lighting of Gem of the Ocean was sublime, but as a double nominee with lots of friends, I fully expect him to split the vote. There's no need to worry, good Tony voters -- with MacDevitt's alternately murky and fantastic work on The Pillowman on the nominee list, there's an easy third path for fans of that show to take.

BEST LIGHTING DESIGN OF A MUSICAL
Will Win/Should Win: Christopher Akerlind, The Light in the Piazza
Mark Henderson, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Kenneth Posner, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Hugh Vanstone, Monty Python's Spamalot
For chrissake, it's got Light in the title. No contest.

BEST DIRECTION OF A PLAY
b>Should Win: John Crowley, The Pillowman
Will Win: Scott Ellis, Twelve Angry Men
Doug Hughes, Doubt
Joe Mantello, Glengarry Glen Ross
Crowley's nomination surprised me (I picked Virginia Woolf's master, Anthony Lane, instead), so maybe it indicates a reservoir of support for Crowley's exceptional work. But if that's true, I don't think it'll be enough to triumph over his famous fellow nominees. And with Mantello having won twice in the last two years (for Take Me Out and Wicked, respectively), the battle is between Hughes and Ellis. In a squeaker, I'll give the edge to Ellis, but it could go either way.

BEST DIRECTION OF A MUSICAL
James Lapine, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Will Win: Mike Nichols, Monty Python's Spamalot
Jack O'Brien, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Should Win: Bartlett Sher, The Light in the Piazza
After Lapine won the Drama Desk award this past weekend, Nichols' stranglehold on this category was brought into question. I, however, think Nichols is unstoppable. He's put together Broadway's biggest financial hit ever. He's overdue for another Tony. And heck, he put Angels in America up on HBO...what's not to love? (Forget, of course, that Bartlett Sher's exquisite diamond, Piazza, was infinitely more complex and deft. The best work rarely wins, as we know.)

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY
Wayne Cilento, Sweet Charity
Jerry Mitchell, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Will Win/Should Win: Jerry Mitchell, La Cage aux Folles
Casey Nicholaw, Monty Python's Spamalot
There's very little actual dance work happening in Spamalot or Scoundrels, and none of it is especially innovative. Although Cilento may get some sympathy votes for having to work with Christina Applegate, that can only go so far. No, I expect the shameless kick lines and acrobatic arabesques of Les Cagelles to win this Tony for Jerry Mitchell.

BEST ORCHESTRATIONS
Larry Hochman, Monty Python's Spamalot
Should Win: Ted Sperling, Adam Guettel and Bruce Coughlin, The Light in the Piazza
Will Win: Jonathan Tunick, Pacific Overtures
Harold Wheeler, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Take one listen to the gorgeous new Piazza recording; I defy anyone to tell me it's not the most beautiful thing you've ever heard. Sadly for that team, however, there's a 5000-pound gorilla in the category: Jonathan Tunick, Sondheim's legendary orchestrator, who brought a contemporary grandeur to Pacific Overtures.

FINAL TALLIES
The Light in the Piazza - 4
Doubt, The Pillowman - 3
Spamalot, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Spelling Bee, Twelve Angry Men, La Cage aux Folles - 2
700 Sundays, A Streetcar Named Desire, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Rivals, Pacific Overtures - 1
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Sweet Charity - 0

But enough of what I think...what do you think? Where am I going right (or going wrong)?

FabNews Roundup:

- Next, on a very special episode of Blossom: Kylie's cancer experience, given the full-on Lifetime Television For Women treatment by FemaleFirst. Seems that her incredibly hot actor boyfriend is the one that made her go to the doctor: "it was his vigilance that led to the early diagnosis and ultimately could have saved her life." Now that's a man worth keeping.

- Further signs of the impending apocalypse: The Spice Girls are reuniting. I have a love/hate relationship with the Spices...and by "love/hate", I mean that I think they are fabulous/terrible. They were always a market-driven pop formula, so their craven "10th anniversary reunion tour" makes sickening sense in some way, as does the new best-of album. Let's just hope that the young women of 2005 realize that Girl Power isn't found in lyrical cliches and poor wardrobe choices.

- What do Mary Kay LeTourneau, Muslim Fundamentalists and Rick Santorum have in common? They can all get married legally...even to their rape victims. Whereas those tax-paying, contributing-to-society gays are nothing but trouble.

Robert Byrd: "We Have Kept The Republic"

A bit of overstatement, but heck, we'll take it.

From Newsday:

Stepping back from a partisan donnybrook of historic proportions, a bipartisan group of senators agreed Monday night to preserve the Democrats' potential to block judicial nominees while allowing a vote on most of those who have been blocked.

Weeks of tension and partisan warfare seemed to evaporate as 14 senators from both parties went before cameras to announce a compromise their leaders had been unable to reach. The standoff had threatened to bring legislative business to a halt and obliterate what remaining comity there is in the capital.

"We came together. In a Senate that has become increasingly partisan and polarized, the bipartisan center prevailed," said Sen. Joseph Lieberman, D-Conn. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), said he had been prepared to vote today to end all judicial filibusters, but stepped back, perhaps against the wishes of his constituents, because "we are at war. Kids are dying as we speak."

The signatories to the compromise, which was hammered out in talks over several days spearheaded by Republican John McCain of Arizona and Democrat Ben Nelson of Nebraska, agree to allow the full Senate to vote on three judicial nominees Democrats had found most objectionable; make no commitment on two other less controversial judges and preserve the right of unlimited debate, a practice known as the filibuster, "under extraordinary circumstances," according to a two-page document outlining the deal.



Great news, for anyone who likes America being a home for freedom. And it's just in time for the next great political headache to take its place in the national spotlight. I feel woozy.

Hey, I'm A C-List Celebrity!

Or Blogebrity, as the case may be. On a first glance at the list, one might think my C-List status is insulting...I mean, that kind of makes me the bloq equivalent of Jessica Biel, or that irritating guy from That 70's Show. But then I notice some of my rockin' fellow C-Listers -- like Margaret Cho, Daniel Drezner, Music For Robots, Rosie O'Donnell, Just Jared, and Oliver Willis -- and I feel much much better.

Someday I'll know the special satisfaction that comes from reaching the B-List...not to mention the glamor, prestige and endorsement deals that will surely follow. Until then, though, I'll keep my smutty white-trash sensibilities up on blocks in the front yard, next to my double-wide trailer...and keep posting totally gay rumors about Ryan Secrest. That that, you A-List bastards!

This Week In Modern Fabulousity

The Fab Listings for this week:

FILM: Joseph Gordon-Levitt blisters the screen as a hustler with a heart of iron in Gregg Araki's amazing Mysterious Skin.

MUSIC: The smartest musical of the year arrives on CD...Adam Guettel's elegantly romantic Light in the Piazza.

VACATION: Memorial Day's the perfect three-day weekend. Take a quick trip with these last-minute vacation deals.

THEATER: Tom Nelis is giving the best performance of the year, bringing Leonard Bernstein to glorious life in Anne Bogart's mesmerizing drama Score. Trust me, you cannot afford to miss it.

Drama Desk Winners: No Surprises

The Drama Desk Awards reinforced the four leading contenders for the big prizes -- Spamalot for Musical, Doubt for Play, and Twelve Angry Men and La Cage aux Folles for the revival categories -- but did throw a few interesting curveballs in minor races.

James Lapine upsets Mike Nichols in the Directing race, foreshadowing a possible showdown between the two. The long career of Jan Maxwell probably helped her triumph in Supporting Actress, and smart Tony prognosticators will take notice.

I'm working on a huuuuuge post for later in the week with my Tony picks...stay tuned!

Outstanding Revival of a Play
Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Glengarry Glen Ross
Hurlyburly
Outward Bound
Pullman Car Hiawatha
*Twelve Angry Men

Outstanding Revival of a Musical
Ain't Supposed to Die a Natural Death
*La Cage aux Folles
On Second Avenue
Sweet Charity

Outstanding Play
Democracy (Michael Frayn)
*Doubt (John Patrick Shanley)
Pentecost (David Edgar)
The Pillowman (Martin McDonagh)
Sailor's Song (John Patrick Shanley)
Sin (A Cardinal Deposed) (Michael Murphy)

Outstanding Musical
Altar Boyz
The Audience
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
The Light in the Piazza
*Monty Python's Spamalot
The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Outstanding Director of a Play
Joshua Carlebach, Frankenstein
Scott Elliott, Hurlyburly
Scott Ellis, Twelve Angry Men
Edward Hall, Rose Rage
*Doug Hughes, Doubt
Joe Mantello, Glengarry Glen Ross

Outstanding Director of a Musical
Matthew Bourne, Play Without Words
Jack Cummings III, The Audience
Mark Dornford-May, The Mysteries
*James Lapine, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Mike Nichols, Monty Python's Spamalot
Bartlett Sher, The Light in the Piazza

Outstanding Featured Actress in a Play
Julie Halston, White Chocolate
*Adriane Lenox, Doubt
Portia, McReele
Lily Rabe, Steel Magnolias
Lee Roy Rogers, Orson's Shadow
Mary Testa, String of Pearls

Outstanding Featured Actress in a Musical
Sarah Uriarte Berry, The Light in the Piazza
Joanna Gleason, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Kecia Lewis, Dessa Rose
*Jan Maxwell, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Maureen McGovern, Little Women
Jennifer Simard, Forbidden Broadway: Special Victims Unit

Outstanding Featured Actor in a Play
Philip Bosco, Twelve Angry Men
Larry Bryggman, Romance
Jeff Goldblum, The Pillowman
Josh Hamilton, Hurlyburly
Paul Sparks, Orange Flower Water
*Michael Stuhlbarg, The Pillowman

Outstanding Featured Actor in a Musical
Christian Borle, Monty Python's Spamalot
Gregory Jbara, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Norm Lewis, Dessa Rose
Tyler Maynard, Altar Boyz
Michael McGrath, Monty Python's Spamalot
*Denis O'Hare, Sweet Charity

Outstanding Actor in a Play
Adam Arkin, Brooklyn Boy
John Cullum, Sin (A Cardinal Deposed)
Bill Irwin, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
*Brian F. O'Byrne, Doubt
Jeremy Piven, Fat Pig
John Turturro, Souls of Naples

Outstanding Actor in a Musical
Hank Azaria, Monty Python's Spamalot
Mike Burstyn, On Second Avenue
*Norbert Leo Butz, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Matthew Morrison, The Light in the Piazza
David Hyde Pierce, Monty Python's Spamalot
Bill Thompson, God Hates the Irish: The Ballad of Armless Johnny

Outstanding Actress in a Play
Veanne Cox, Last Easter
*Cherry Jones, Doubt
Judy Kaye, Souvenir
Laura Linney, Sight Unseen
Frances Sternhagen, Echoes of the War
Kathleen Turner, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Outstanding Actress in a Musical
Christina Applegate, Sweet Charity
*Victoria Clark, The Light in the Piazza
Sutton Foster, Little Women
LaChanze, Dessa Rose
Sherie Rene Scott, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Rachel York, Dessa Rose

Outstanding Orchestrations
Steven M. Alper, The Immigrant
Larry Hochman, Monty Python's Spamalot
Doug Katsaros & Lynne Shankel, Altar Boyz
Kim Scharnberg, Little Women
*Ted Sperling, Adam Guettel, Bruce Coughlin, The Light in the Piazza
Harold Wheeler, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Outstanding Book of a Musical
Nell Benjamin and Laurence O'Keefe, Cam Jensen
Kevin Del Aguila, Altar Boyz
Mark Harelik, The Immigrant
Eric Idle, Monty Python's Spamalot
Jeffrey Lane, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
*Rachel Sheinkin, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Outstanding Lyrics
Gary Adler & Michael Patrick Walker, Altar Boyz
Douglas J. Cohen, Children's Letters to God
Rick Crom, Newsical
William Finn, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
*Eric Idle, Monty Python's Spamalot
David Yazbek, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Outstanding Music
Gary Adler & Michael Patrick Walker, Altar Boyz
Terry Davies, Play Without Words
William Finn, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Stephen Flaherty, Dessa Rose
*Adam Guettel, The Light in the Piazza
David Yazbek, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Unique Theatrical Experience
all wear bowlers
Belle Epoque
The Mysteries
Play Without Words
*Slava's Snowshow

Outstanding Revue
Absolutely Fascinating
*Forbidden Broadway: Special Victims Unit
Newsical

Outstanding Solo Performance
*Billy Crystal, 700 Sundays
Dave Gorman, Dave Gorman's Googlewhack! Adventure
Barry Humphries, Dame Edna: Back with a Vengeance
Jackie Mason, Jackie Mason: Freshly Squeezed
Tim Miller, Us
James Urbaniak, Thom Pain (based on nothing)

Outstanding Costume Design
Lez Brotherston, Play Without Words
*Tim Hatley, Monty Python's Spamalot
William Ivey Long, La Cage aux Folles
Jeff Mahshie, Hurlyburly
Anthony Ward, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Catherine Zuber, The Light in the Piazza

Outstanding Lighting Design
Christopher Akerlind, Belle Epoque
*Christopher Akerlind, The Light in the Piazza
Mark Henderson, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Donald Holder, Gem of the Ocean
R. Lee Kennedy, The Audience
James Japhy Weideman, Frankenstein

Outstanding Sound Design
ACME Sound Partners, The Light in the Piazza
*Paul Arditti, The Pillowman
Jill B.C. DuBoff, Miss Julie
Jill B.C. DuBoff, Spatter Pattern (Or, How I Got Away With It)
Jeff Lorenz, Frankenstein
Darron L. West, Hot 'n' Throbbing

Outstanding Set Design of a Play
Robert Brill, Streetcar Named Desire
Marisa Frantz, Frankenstein
Nathan Heverin, Outward Bound
Richard Hoover, After the Fall
David Korins, Orange Flower Water
*Santo Loquasto, Glengarry Glen Ross

Outstanding Set Design of a Musical
Lez Brotherston, Play Without Words
Tim Hatley, Monty Python's Spamalot
Scott Pask, Sweet Charity
David Rockwell, All Shook Up
Anthony Ward, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
*Michael Yeargan, The Light in the Piazza

Outstanding Choreography
Matthew Bourne, Play Without Words
Christopher Gattelli, Altar Boyz
Barry McNabb, Sailor's Song
Jerry Mitchell, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
*Jerry Mitchell, La Cage aux Folles
Casey Nicholaw, Monty Python's Spamalot

The following noncompetitive awards were presented by the Drama Desk at its awards ceremony:

For Outstanding Ensemble Performances: the cast of Glengarry Glen Ross; the cast of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. A Career Achievement Award to Julie Harris for her commitment to excellence in the theatre. To Keen Company, a Special Award for moving and enlightening audiences with plays that build upon our theatrical heritage. In celebration of the 50th anniversary of the Drama Desk Awards, a Special Award to The Public Theater for its 50 years of exceptional contributions to the theatre.

Our Completely Scientific and Eminently Factual American Idol Poll

Okay Modfabbers, it's your turn:

Free polls from Pollhost.com

Who's Gonna Win?

Bo Carrie Ralph Nader I miss Ruben. Kylie, of course.

Update: The World Is Safe Again

Yes, it's true...Kylie Minogue's breast cancer surgery was a success. Everybody exhale.

Incredibles and Regrettables

Or...The Times Critics Get Their Bitchy Bitch On. After trying their damndest to throw their weight around and influence the Best Actress race for the Tony Awards, today they listed the things they liked and disliked this year at the theatre, for what it's worth. Some of it's right, some of it's wrong, and some of it's just plain mean. Yay!

Much more meaningful -- but just as bitchy -- is Jesse McKinley's rundown of the fierce battle coming in the Tony Awards race for Best Musical. Spamalot's the leader in the race...or are they? Watch for ModFab's Tony Predictions coming soon.

The Winners (and Losers) of Cannes

Those are the winners of the 2005 Cannes Film Festival Palme d'Or, Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne...they are Belgian, and like Belgians the world over, they show their excitement, don't they? Looking at their calm faces, you'd never guess that they, only moments before, upset the major contenders (and the expectations of pundits) with their latest film L'Enfant (The Child). The Dardenne brothers have won the big prize once before (six years ago with Rosetta); their latest film, about a teen gang member and his girlfriend trying to raise their baby son, was praised by most critics...and clearly by the Cannes Jury, led by another two-time Palme D'Or winner, Emir Kusturica.

That jury -- a weird group that included Javier Bardem, John Woo, Salma Hayek, and Toni Morrison -- threw a number of curveballs among its selections. The perceived front-runner, A History of Violence by David Cronenberg, came away with nothing...despite Roger Ebert's indication earlier in the week that Viggo Mortensen might go home with the Best Actor trophy. That award went instead to Tommy Lee Jones, who starred in and directed The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada. That film, which premiered just yesterday in the festival, was the only multiple-award winner, garnering the Best Screenplay Award for Amores Perros and 21 Grams scribe Guillermo Arriaga.

Two of the other major contenders -- the Bill Murray drama Broken Flowers (Jim Jarmusch, dir.) and Hidden (Michael Haneke, dir.) starring Juliette Binoche -- ended up with the Grand Prix du Jury and the Best Director Awards, respectively. More surprising wins included Hana Laslo, the Best Actress winner who played a tough Israeli taxi driver in Amos Gitai's Free Zone, and the Chinese historical drama Shanghai Dreams, which picked up a special Jury Prize.

Film lovers are especially excited by the Camera D'Or winners, given to first-time filmmakers. The tie in the category belonged to the Sri Lankan mood piece The Forsaken Land, and Me and You and Everyone We Know by American Miranda July, who also won the Critics' Week Prize and has previously picked up awards at Sundance and the Indie Spirit Awards. Are we seeing the emergence of the first major female director of the new century? I certainly hope so.

A lot of film listed above, but there are just as many missing: early favorites like Lars Von Trier's Manderlay (which reportedly does for racism what his last film did for misogngy, and that's not a good thing), Last Days by Gus Van Sant, Atom Egoyan's Where The Truth Lies, and Three Times by the master Hou Hsiao Hsien...all going home empty-handed. Cannes can give new worldwide life (and it will to the Dardennes, Tommy Lee Jones, and Jarmusch), but it can also take it away.

Next up: Venice!

Bat-Milk

I like mine with cookies. Mmmm. I'm a just a teeny bit psyched for this movie. Christian Bale Bruce Wayne is sooooo hot.

The Cannes Film Festival: Palme D'Or Odds

So sayeth Ebert, via Derek Malcolm:

9-4: "Hidden," by Michael Haneke
5-1: "Manderlay," by Lars von Trier
6-1: "Broken Flowers," by Jim Jarmusch
6-1: "L'Enfant," by Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne
10-1: "A History of Violence," by David Cronenberg
15-1: "Kilometre Zero," by Hiner Saleem

My personal reactions on what I've been reading is that von Trier is a bit overstated in these odds, while Cronenberg is a little higher than these bets show. We'll know it all come tomorrow.

Friday Hot Guy Blogging: Anton

This slab of hottie-ness is Anton, a 23-year-old Belarusian by birth and New Yorker by immigration. Although his promo at Most Beautiful Human (thanks, guys) lists him as a Boss Model, I can't find him listed on their site. So maybe he's just imaginary...a dream in my head that I get to share with all of you. (And trust me, I will be dreaming about those abs.)

The Reality of Summer

Excellent snarky rundown at Reality Blurred of the summer (and fall) TV offerings. I'm a bit surprised by the apparent cancellations of Queer Eye for the Straight Girl, Wickedly Perfect and Manhunt, but truthfully, they were all pretty terrible. (Although Manhunt was fun for eye candy.)

The three shows I'm most looking forward to:

Hit Me Baby One More Time (NBC, June 2, 9pm)
Former one-hit wonders compete for a second chance at the spotlight. The UK version seems to have been a poptastic pleasure, with one of my favorite obscure bands, Hue and Cry, in the finals against Tiffany ("I Think We're Alone Now") and Shalamar ("Dead Giveaway", "Dancin' in the Sheets"). The U.S. version will reported feature Air Supply, Arrested Development, The Knack, Vanilla Ice, Flock of Seagulls, Loverboy, Tiffany, Tommy Tutone, Sophie B. Hawkins and more...fans of 80's and 90's music, rejoice! (And do yourself a favor: pick up Hue and Cry's 1987 CD Seduced and Abandoned.)

The Cut (CBS, June 9, 9pm)
A less interesting version of Project Runway meets a less interesting version of The Apprentice, but still...it's fashion designers slicing each other to pieces. What's not to love? Tommy Hilfiger, he of ubiqitous branding and ugly fleece pullovers, is the svengali tantalizing the young whippersnappers with a promise to release their own collection under the Hilfiger label. Which leads me to ask...what if they want to do evening wear? Aren't they royally fucked?

Rock Star: INXS (CBS, June 11, 9pm)
Despite the seemingly irreplaceable loss of lead singer Michael Hutchence (he of the notoriously naked asphixiation), Aussie band INXS has decided to soldier on. Trouble is, they can't find a singer they like. In steps reality producer Mark Burnett (Survivor), who has launched an international Idol-like competition to solve the band's dilemma. Among the prizes are...who cares, you're a star, dude! I doubt they're looking for overweight homos, but I'm polishing up my version of "What You Need" just in case. (INXS fell apart a bit in the 90's, but their second album, The Swing, remains one of my favorites.)

Miramax Wars, Episode Two: Revenge of the Weinsteins

The Weinsteins, newly divorced from their parent company Walt Disney, have finally found the pot'o'gold at the end of the rainbow. And its name is Goldman Sachs.

I'm thrilled, personally. Say what you will about Harvey, but he knows how to keep actors, directors, and writers at the top of their game...not to mention keeping Hollywood from growing completely stagnant.

Filibuster Fight Gets Fugly

The name-calling has begun: "This week, the distinguished Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., compared Democrats to assassins. The distinguished Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., compared Frist to the crazed Roman emperor Nero." Nice, guys. Classy. When Ted Kennedy demands judicial restraint, I fully expect Rick Santorum to yell, "That's not what your momma said last night."

Even as Frist heads toward a cloture vote, the last, best hope may lie with Republican John Warner and Democrat Robert Byrd, who are desperately seeking a middle road. Still, the radical religious right hasn't budged an inch. And why not? Why aren't they seeking a solution, rather than seeking obstructionism? Here's why: Catherine Crier has an excellent piece today exposing their true agenda. An excerpt from her TV interview last night with Republican pundit Pat Buchanan, and her analysis of what it really means:

Crier: “The Republicans, the conservatives, have dominated the courts now for thirty years in this country, and certainly the Supreme Court, so we know we have Conservatives—but that doesn’t seem to be enough.”

Buchanan: “No, that is not enough.”

Crier: “Yeah, the Terri Schiavo case--those were conservative judges, and all of a sudden, we’re saying we want strict constructionists?”

Buchanan: “Exactly. Look, ten of the last twelve justices have been appointed by Republicans. Nixon gave us Blackmun, Gerry Ford gave us John Paul Stevens, Reagan gave us Kennedy and O’Connor, and (Bush Sr.) gave us David Souter…”

Crier: “Those aren’t good enough?”

Buchanan: “They have been failures. The battle is over the Supreme Court. (It) has become a judicial dictatorship in this country. It dictates racial policy on quotas, affirmative action. It tells us we must have abortion on demand. It’s now into gay rights. It has become a super legislature. Control of it is more important tin the social culture war in America than control of Congress in the United States. That ultimately is what this is all about. The President has got to get those Supreme Court justices...and if that means breaking these ridiculous obstructionist filibusters, he ought to do it.”

Thank you, Pat, for your honesty. What the far right wants is a ‘super legislature’ of their own. Their mission is clear; to reverse case law involving civil rights, abortion rights, the ban on execution of juveniles, and even the application of the federal Bill of Rights to our state governments, to name but a few areas under attack.....Just how much do they want? They want it all.

The real fight is not over the lower courts in the federal system, but instead, the ultimate prize--the highest court in the land. There is no question that President Bush will have the opportunity to appoint several justices to that Court during his second term. He has made his ideological preferences clear. Conservative justices aren’t enough. He wants jurists of a particular persuasion. They must satisfy the requirements of fundamentalist Christians, with a willingness to roll back the clock to a time where children prayed to Jesus in public school, gays were back in the closet and women were forced into back alleys.

Those with different religious beliefs, (forget those with none at all), are dismissed entirely. Those who assert they are moral without believing in the Scriptures, verbatim, go straight to Hell.

If we want a Theocracy in this country, then ignore the assault on our nation’s judges. If you believe in the Republic that our Founding Fathers bequeathed, then prepare to battle for the one remaining branch of the government that has not yet been co-opted -- the federal Judiciary.

Read her entire essay here. And remember her words like a mantra (I certainly plan to)...

How much do they want? They want it all.

Major Fabulousity: Plogress.com

An early candidate for best website of 2005, Plogress is just what the United States needs to kick its nasty political posturing in the ass. With sublime simplicity free of bloviation, Plogress allows voters to track the votes of their elected representatives. Want to see what Pennsylvania's proudest bigot, Rick Santorum, is up to? Here you go. Not sure if you want to vote for Hillary Clinton in '08? Judge her by her record. Ever wonder what your Congressperson is doing on your behalf? Now you know...and if you don't know who they are, find out here.

Finally, there's an easy place to get the facts on our leaders. I think I'm in love.

Over at Arjan's: Mylo, Annie, Scissor Sisters, and New Order

Arguably the greatest music blog in the world today, Arjan Writes is the very-definition of a must read. If you're looking for rare tracks, great videos, or simply the next big thing, Arjan has it; if you're looking to expand your I-Pod or your CD collection, Arjan is the go-to guide.

He's also been on an especially incredible run of late. Yesterday, he got the sexy video for Mylo's "In My Arms", the first single off of his incredible debut album Destroy Rock And Roll. (I bought the CD on import last year, and it ended up being my favorite disc of the winter...and I will probably buy the U.S. version next week as well, as it comes with bonus tracks.) "In My Arms" combines samples from Kim Carnes' "Bette Davis Eyes" with Boy Meets Girl's "Waiting For A Star To Fall"...an odd 80's mashup that works beautifully. The video's pretty sexy, too.

Arjan has been an energetic champion of Euro-chanteuse Annie, and I have to admit that her debut CD, Anneimal, is incredibly addictive dance music. He's just linked to her video for "Heartbeat", just in time for her U.S. release on June 7th. You can listen to streams of the entire album here. (And if you like that, check out the video for my favorite Annie tune, "Chewing Gum".)

Regular readers know of my obsessive love for the Scissor Sisters, a love that Arjan shares...he's posted some early demos from the group, including one track, "Doctor (I'm Only Seeing Dark)", that has never been heard before. And a bonus for Sister Fans: the video for "Jetstream", the next single from New Order that features the Scissor Sisters' Ana Matronic on vocals.

Sorry for the breathless praise, but I just had to share. If I weren't already with someone, I'd ask Arjan to marry me.

Crack Is Whack, Whitney

Look at this. That's some scary shit, Ms. Houston.

[A Socialite's Life]

Reality Remix: From American Idol to the UK Runway

It's a red-state showdown for the Final Two on American Idol: Gregg Allman wannabe Bo Bice versus the Faith Hill-lite of Carrie Underwood. Someone wake me when it's over. (If you have to choose one or the other, go Bo, I guess...that Carrie girl gives me the suburban freak creeps.)

In more important musical news, the manager of Kylie Minogue says that doctors have detemined that her cancer has not spread. She will undergo surgery this week.

Across the pond, Elle McPherson is in line to host the UK version of Project Runway...but not if Elizabeth Hurley has anything to say about it. I do love a good catfight in the morning!

And a reality television of a different sort, but no less entertaining: conservative Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman gets a hotfoot from Al Franken and Bill Maher.

Crystal Meth: The New Gay Plague

Fascinating article in the New Yorker about the epidemic of crystal meth abuse in the gay community...some reports have it that 15% of gays in Manhattan are using the deadly drug on a regular basis. Unbelievable.

I mean, I'll admit it: I have smoked pot. I have dropped ecstacy. And while I didn't care for either one, I respect that people have the right to do with their bodies whatever they please...including killing themselves.

But that DOESN'T mean that it's not a completely fucked-up thing for gay men to do. Hell, we've survived our parents' rejection, tauntings at school, bashings on the street, the bias and hatred of an entire culture...only to destroy ourselves in this pathetically useless way. The people I've met who've used crystal meth (not many, thank God) use it to "lose their inhibitions" during sex...which to my mind proves the power of internalized homophobia. Deep down, many of us still think that sex is wrong, and desire is shameful.

Porn star/director Michael Lucas writes on his blog today about the same article, and he puts it perfectly:

"The gay community is starting to look a lot like an after-school special. The sad part is this is no brain surgery. Play with crystal and at some point, you’ll get hooked. Just look around, thousands of men and women, ruined by this drug. They’ve lost their jobs, their friends, and their self-respect. For the lucky ones who were able to reclaim their lives and find their way back from the depths of despair and paranoia, their days are now anchored by NA meetings....What’s more alarming is that this crystal epidemic is fueling another health crisis, AIDS."

Read more, educate yourself, and realize that while you think you're having fun, you're destroying yourself...and playing right into the hands of those bigots, who want nothing more than for all of us to die.

The Senate: Where Have All The Heroes Gone?

Well, it's official...the nuclear option is underway, with the coward Bill Frist succumbing to the radical right fringe and moving forward (or backward). The group of moderate Republicans and Democrats trying to work out an 11th-hour compromise haven't come up with a solution yet, and although it doesn't look good, they've promised to keep at it.

With the nation losing patience with Congress -- a new MSNBC/WSJ poll puts their approval rating at 33% -- it's clear that the focus of a minority's radical agenda could cost the Republicans greatly. (Most Americans, it seems, would prefer Congress focus on gas prices, the economy, and health care...not Terry Schiavo, Social Security gutting, or gay-baiting. My guess is they could do without Tom DeLay, too.) Most importantly: by a margin of 47 percent to 40 percent, the public says it would prefer Democrats controlling Congress after the 2006 elections.

Let's hope the conservative right wing doesn't destroy the country before then.

The Joan Crawford Megamix

Utterly hilarious. The wire-hanger diva gets the dance treatment, courtesy of a classic Alison Moyet/Yaz track. Be careful not to spit-take your martini.

Broadway's First Casualty: Little Women

Little Women: The Musical, with only a single Tony nomination to its name, decides to call it a day. Although the decision has been made to take the show on a national tour, it most likely will close in New York at a significant loss.

Expect more closings soon...there's a lot of shows struggling, especially fellow award shutouts All Shook Up, Brooklyn, and Glass Menagerie.

Minor Fabulousity: Momix

Tonight ModFab was lucky enough to see the new premiere by Momix, Moses Pendleton's staggeringly inventive dance company, celebrating their 25th anniversary this season. The new piece, Lunar Sea (or, as the nutty Pendleton might pronounce it, "lunacy"), uses projections, black lights and bodysuits to paint an eerily serene vision of creatures that might -- in another, far more interesting universe -- inhabit the lunar landscape. Half in black, half in white, the dancers perform black-lit optical illusions...it's as interesting to see the half of their bodies performing as it is to imagine what the other invisible part is doing.

As a piece of dance theatre, Lunar Sea is never less than provocative, but as an experiment of the intersections of fabric, bodies, and light, it's astounding. It's here through May 29th; for tickets, visit the Joyce Theater's website.

U.S. Open Goes From Green To Blue

When something as stupid happens as tennis courts changing color, you can be certain that somewhere, sometime, a focus group got incredibly out of control. What next: Olympic rowing on dry land?

I liked it better last year, with Serena wearing hot pants.

A Very Fabulous Day

Today is, among other things, my birthday...I am now officially 36 years old. I just wanted to thank all of you, new friends and old, for making this past year such a marvelous experience. I am humbled and thrilled that 2,000 of you a week are now reading this blog...it makes the effort completely worth it.

To celebrate today, I'm going this afternoon to see this movie, and then I'm going to see this performance with my hubbie. If you're so moved, you can spread my birthday love with something off my cheap, easy, and endlessly fascinating wishlist.

Or -- hey, here's an idea -- place an ad on Modern Fabulousity! If you have a blog yourself, or a movie (hey Mitch!), or a book, or something fabulous to share with others, I have the greatest readers in the world and they'd love to know about it. And I'm deciding right this moment to celebrate today -- anyone who places an ad this week will get their ad time doubled, 'cause I'm in a good mood. Happy birthday to me (oh, and to Tina Fey, Chow Yun Fat, Frank Capra, and Reggie Jackson)!

Looking Into Broadway's Crystal Ball

Even as this year's bumper crop of shows vie for June's Tony Awards, some interesting developments are starting to appear in next year's race. Will the musical version of The Lord of the Rings make it? Early indications are yes...with nine months left before it opens in Toronto, it's opening week sales are already in excess of $1 million. Pretty amazing, since tickets are only on sale on the internet.

What might be Aragorn's competition for the Tony? Probably Billy Elliot: The Musical, which opened in London last night to rave reviews from the Guardian, the Independent, the Telegraph and the London Times. My friends who have seen it say that Elton John's music is marvelous, and the dancing kids are cheer-inducing. Expect it to make a quick jump over the pond.

Fire Sale at the Plaza

Okay, not an actual fire...but haven't you always wanted a piece of New York's most famous hotel? I'll be there, cash in hand.

Next Year's TV Offerings: ModFab preview

With all of the major TV networks holding their upfronts this week -- advertiser-friendly glimpses of the upcoming fall season, replete with media-ready moments lubricated with champagne and bad catering -- we can now tell you that television next season should be just as poor as this year. However, judging from the lineups at the Big Three (CBS, ABC, and NBC), there are new ups and downs. For example:

ABC: The Cinderella story of the 2004-2005 season, the network will leave alone its Sunday night blockbuster lineup of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy...but will shuffle or alter almost everything else. Gone: My Wife and Kids, 8 Simple Rules, Blind Justice, and Extreme Makeover. Saved from the chopping block at the last minute: Hope and Faith, George Lopez, and Jake In Progress. The big news, however, is the shuffling of established hits like Alias (moving to Thursdays at 8, presumably to put a nail in the coffin of NBC's Joey and present an alternative to CBS' Survivor) and Lost (moving back an hour to 9pm on Wednesday...maybe it's getting more adult-oriented?). New offerings include (don't laugh) Geena Davis as Commander-in-Chief (don't laugh, I said...the wingnuts are already pissed about it, seeing it as a Hillaryesque insult), a sitcom with Freddie Prinze Jr. imaginatively called Freddie, and Invasion, a big new sci-fi series compared to Lost at the upfronts.

NBC: Mired in fourth place after the loss of Friends, the network is making light of their disastrous year and making the incomprehensible decision to keep most of its shows. Gone: The Contender, Revelations and Law and Order: Trial By Jury. Saved from a near-certain death: The Office. Big New Hopes: A quirky sitcom (a "quirkcom", perhaps) starring Jason Lee, called My Name Is Earl; The E-Ring, Jerry Bruckheimer's new Pentagon drama with Dennis Hopper, and The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, a spinoff of the Trumpster's reality show.

CBS: This is no longer your grandparents' network: nobody will love Raymond now that it's canceled (hallelujah), and geezer fare like Joan of Arcadia, Judging Amy, Listen Up, JAG and 60 Minutes II have been all been touched by the cancellation angel. But Gramps and Gammaw will be glad to hear that CBS will reunite Chicago Hope's Mandy Patinkin and Thomas Gibson in Criminal Minds. And if you can't ever get enough of the kids at CSI, you're in luck: Close To Home seems to be the surburban variant on the forensic detective theme. For the reality folks, don't fret: Big Brother's coming this summer, and the fall will bring the return of Survivor and The Amazing Race.

Fox, The WB, and UPN will be announcing later this week.

Cannes Update: Cronenberg vs. Haneke

Even as Roger Ebert extols the virtue of the films still opening (including Jim Jarmusch's Broken Flowers, starring Bill Murray, and Francois Ozon's The Time That Remains), the Hollywood Reporter has started to shape the race for the awards being handed out on Saturday. As they see it, the Palme D'Or is coming down to a two-man contest between the films of Cronenberg and Haneke.

Back here on U.S. shores, Hollywood continues to go to hell in a handbasket. In the upcoming X3, the latest in the X-Men blockbuster franchise, they've finally cast the enormous blue-furred hero known as Beast. Who, do you guess? Schwarzenegger? Diesel? No, nothing so sensible. They've chosen the buff action hero known as...Kelsey Grammer. Shoot me now.

Obies: Excellence Meets Irrelevance

The bastard children of the theatre awards season, the Obie Awards, were handed out yesterday, and the ceremony at Webster Hall sounds like it was a mix of the marvelous and the irritating. The photos don't look much better (check out the slightly pained look on John Patrick Shanley's face.) Theoretically designed to honor Off-Broadway (hence the "Ob" in "Obie"), the big winner seems to have been the Broadway behemoth Doubt, which barely touched down at City Center before moving to Broadway last March.

The other winners:

Performance
Jeremy Shamos, Engaged
Elizabeth Marvel, Hedda Gabler
Jason Butler Harner, Hedda Gabler
Rosemary Allen, Good Samaritans
Cherry Jones, Doubt
Larry Bryggman, Romance
Kieran Culkin, After Ashley
Mercedes Ruehl, Woman Before a Glass
LaChanze, Dessa Rose
Deidre O'Connell for sustained excellence of performance
Vivienne Benesch, Going to St. Ives
L. Scott Caldwell, Going to St. Ives

Direction
Dan Wackerman, Counsellor-At-Law
Ivo van Hove, Hedda Gabler
Doug Hughes for sustained excellence of direction

Playwriting
Christopher Shinn, Where Do We Live
John Patrick Shanley, Doubt
Caryl Churchill, A Number
Lynn Nottage, Fabulation

Design
John Lee Beatty, set design, Engaged
Rui Rita, lighting design, Engaged
Guy Sherman, sound design, Engaged
Catherine Zuber, costume design, Engaged
Thomas Lynch, set design, Woman Before a Glass
Phil Monat, lighting design, Woman Before a Glass
David Van Tieghem, sound design, Woman Before a Glass
Willa Kim, costume design, Woman Before a Glass
Jan Versweyveld, set design, Hedda Gabler

Special Citations
The Imagine Festival of Arts, Issues & Ideas
Hell Meets Henry Halfway
Sin: A Cardinal Deposed

The Ross Wetzsteon Memorial Award
New Dramatists

Sustained Achievement
John Guare

Grants
13P ($3000)
Epic Theatre Company ($3000)
Little Theater at Tonic ($3000)
Gina Gionfriddo for Distinguished Emerging Playwright ($1000)
Margo Skinner Memorial Acting Scholarship ($1000)

Ebert on Cannes

Maybe the strongest festival in years...and the films by Cronenberg, Von Trier, Egoyan and Haneke all get a thumbs-up.

When Bad Things Happen To Good Pop Stars: Kylie Edition

Longtime readers of Modern Fabulousity know that I have a freakishly obsessive love for Kylie Minogue, the dance-pop goddess who has the pizzazz of a young Cher, the talent of a young Madonna, and the body of a young person. All jokes aside, her frothy and fun dance music is also surprisingly complex and inventive; her 20-year stint as a worldwide phenom (except in the U.S., who is always behind in these things) proves that truly great divas, like wine, improve over time.

Today it was announced that Kylie has breast cancer, and will be postponing the Australian leg of her current Showgirl tour to undergo immediate treatment. My thoughts are with her and her family. (Actually, my first thought was, "Damn...why can't this happen to Paris Hilton instead?" Then I remembered...Paris has no breasts.)

Messages of support have been coming from all over the world (including her popstar sister Dannii and ex-boyfriend/erstwhile star Jason Donovan), and I hope you'll join them (and me) in wishing Kylie a speedy and healthy recovery. You can support the megastar's hospital fund -- millionaires need love too -- by purchasing the fierce thumper "Slow (Chemical Brothers Remix)" from her website.

Breaking News: The Gloves Are Off

From The Times:

The Senate minority leader, Harry Reid, Democrat of Nevada, broke off talks on Monday with his Republican counterpart on efforts to head off a showdown on judicial nominations, saying he could not consent to Republican demands.

"The negotiations are over," Mr. Reid said as he left the office of the majority leader, Senator Bill Frist of Tennessee. "I have tried to compromise, and they want all or nothing, and I can't do that. It will have to be decided on the Senate floor, hopefully this week."

Mr. Reid's declaration means that the best chance of skirting a showdown may rest with a bipartisan group of senators outside the leadership. They are trying to reach a compromise among themselves to forestall a change in Senate rules because of Democratic filibusters against federal appeals court nominees.

"All or nothing"? Don't blame the Dems for not trying. You Republicans are bringing this on yourselves.

From The Nuclear File...

As a bipartisan group of Senators try to stake out a last-minute deal, Hilary Rosen gets down to brass tacks: "Some of us who have counted votes on numerous issues over the years speculate that the Republicans just don't have the votes. After all, if Frist has the votes, would he stall the way he is this week?"

The answer is: Frist is a dumbass and an amateurish leader to boot, so maybe he would. Still, Rosen is a consummate insider in Washington, so don't dismiss her theories too quickly. She runs down the rumor mill on the few remaining undecided Republicans:

"I hear that Hagel is a definite no but that Warner has told the Leader that he would vote with the majority if he is really needed. McCain's attempts at compromise are being rebuffed by enough of his colleagues that he should respond in kind. But, Susan Collins likes being a Chairman. And Rick Santorum and Bill Frist are not above threats if they want something badly enough....You just gotta hope that the emasculation of Arlen Spector last year by the right wing has these moderate Republican members wanting to break out. There is no future for them unless they can first demonstrate and then survive independence from the Radical Right."

Read it all at The Huffington Post.

On the gay marriage front, the good news is that the ACLU is finally stepping up to the plate in a big way, launching a nationwide Marraige Fairness campaign. The bad news: it's being run by a guy from Utah. Sheesh.

Another Live Aid?

Get ready -- there are serious rumors (heck, it's on the BBC) that Bob Geldof is planning a sequel to his historic 1985 concerts. I just bought the truly fab DVD of the original Live Aid a few weeks ago, and if this new version can approach even half of the first concert's glory, I'll be stoked.

On The Senate: Tom McMahon

Received this letter in my in-box today from Tom McMahon, the Executive Director of the Democratic National Committee, regarding the battle for the Senate looming this week. It invites me/you to a conference call with Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid tomorrow to discuss the strategy for keeping high judicial nominees standards alive. If you're interested, join me there:

----------------------------------

Dear Gabriel,

Reports say that this week the fringe Republican leadership plans to make its final move in the battle over judicial nominees -- they will change the rules to crush dissent in the Senate and throw out the principle of a fair and independent judiciary.

We have a tough leader in the Senate with Harry Reid. He has kept Democrats together and worked with moderate Republicans trying to get their leadership to step back from the brink.

But he can't win this fight alone. Every one of us will have to get the Democratic message out -- to our neighbors, in our local press, and, most importantly, to our Senators.

To do that, you'll need the very latest information. So please join a conference call briefing with Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid this Wednesday, May 18, at 11:45 a.m. Eastern time (8:45 a.m. Pacific).

http://www.democrats.org/briefingcall

Senator Reid will give us the latest on our strategy, the status of Republicans ready to abandon GOP Leader Bill Frist\'s sinking ship, and what we can do to help. He\'ll also take your questions.

The day of the briefing, Wednesday, may be the day when this all comes to a head. What can you do until then?

• Get the facts. Last week the hundreds of thousands of you who signed the petition to stop the abuse of power in the Senate had an exclusive briefing with Senator Ted Kennedy. He laid out what\'s at stake and the potential consequences if the GOP keeps pursuing this dangerous, unpopular course. You can hear a recording of that briefing here (in streaming MP3 format):
  
  http://www.democrats.org/kennedybriefing
• 
  
• Contact your Senators. Make sure the Democrats know that you stand with them, and let the Republicans know that you (and a majority of Americans) don\'t support the GOP leadership\'s attack on democracy. Hearing from you makes a difference, especially with those Republicans who are wavering. You can get your Senator\'s contact information here:
  
  http://www.democrats.org/officials

What's happening in the Senate will affect every issue and every American. If the far-right fringe succeeds in changing the rules, they will be able to ram through an extremist Supreme Court nominee as soon as this year.

If you've heard about this battle in the news or discussed it with someone you know, please join Senator Reid for this call to get the latest. We have to fight together -- and together we can win.

Thank you,
Tom McMahon

Executive Director
Democratic National Committee

P. S. Senators are seeing up close that when Republican Leader Bill Frist can't win, he tries to change the rules. You can see for yourself by taking him on in a game of tic-tac-toe:

http://www.democrats.org/changingtherules

Drama League Awards and More

So I survived the Drama League Awards -- due in no small part to PTF and QV for their assistance, and to all the volunteers who made sure that Denzel got in (and out of) the building. Among the winners, the major surprises were for the musicals, where Dirty Rotten Scoundrels edged out Spamalot, and Scoundrels star Norbert Leo Butz walked away with the prestigious Distinguished Performance Award, the oldest theatrical honor in North America.

Does this halt the Spamalot juggernaut? Not in and of itself, but there are a lot of industry people openly advocating for a DRS win. My Tony picks will be forthcoming this week; in the meantime, you can enjoy Nathaniel's ruminations on lead actress in a play and a musical.

In the meantime, here's the photo call from The Drama League Awards, held Friday, May 15th, at the Marriott Marquis Hotel, with Mistress of Ceremonies Cherry Jones and presenters Eric Idle, Jessica Lange, Denzel Washington, Jeff Goldblum, Kathleen Turner, Eden Espinosa and Cheyenne Jackson:

And since I'm a slut at heart, the six super-hottest men at the DLA:

This Week In Modern Fabulousity - May 16, 2005

The Fab Listings for this week:

FILM: This tiny art house movie, you've probable never heard of it, it's opening...Star Wars, Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith. Ring any bells? Well, here's a reason to know about it...it's pretty dang good.

MUSIC: The soulster heir to Maxwell's throne, Kem, launches his second album of drippingly good R&B...and provocatively calls it Album II. Check out the marvelously romantic single "I Can't Stop Loving You".

TELEVISION: Is Gabrielle really leaving Carlos? Is Bree leaving Rex? Did Lynette get Tom fired? Is Susan going to trust Mike, like, ever? And what did happen to Mary Alice? Some answers will surely appear in the season finale of Desperate Housewives.

POLITICS: Can Democratic leader Harry Reid keep the Senate from falling to the nuclear-hungry demons of the insane religious right?

How The Christian Right Will Destroy Itself

As activist clergy reject their own beliefs to push political points -- like today's heinous denial of communion to people wearing rainbow-colored sashes, for Chrissake -- new poll numbers show that the wave of gay hatred the religious right is currently riding is bound to bite them in the ass. Nearly 40% of Americans support gay marriage, and 46% believe gay marriages in Massachussetts should be honored in their home states. Considering the bashing of gays currently happening in the media, on talk radio, and on television, these sizeable majorities are encouraging. It's a clear sign that education will create a plurality for fairness and equality.

Those most opposed to equal rights for gays? No surprises: "those over age 65, Republicans, Protestants, regular churchgoers and Southerners were more likely to oppose gay marriage." Which means that anti-gay bigotry is literally dying. And with Catholicism in flux and turmoil, and the bold attacks on government led by Protestant churches, a reckoning would seem to be on the horizon...just in time for the 2006 elections.

As Dr. King so wisely sang...we shall overcome.

News Flash: Woody Allen Doesn't Suck Anymore

The big news so far out of the Cannes Film Festival is that Woody Allen's Match Point, a serious drama set in England starring Scarlett Johansson, is actually good. After swearing I'd never see another Allen film after 2003's terrible disaster Anything Else, now I have to go see this one. It better be good, that's all I've got to say. If it's not, I'm going to exact revenge on somebody. I don't know who exactly, but trust me, it's going to be fierce.

Cannes is endelessly entertaining to watch from afar. I think the New York Times' Cannes Blog is giving great coverage, and Indiewire's pretty great on the surrounding parties and circus atmosphere. As for other reviews of the films being shown, there's Mike D'Angelo's scores and Nerveblog, but I think Mike is wrong most of the time about movies, so take his thoughts with a grain (or a pound) of salt. The Guardian is doing a better job of balancing the films and the festivities.

Finger on the Trigger: The Senate Goes Nuclear

The Senate will probably explode into nuclear oblivion this week when Bill Frist succumbs to the salivating Religious Right and heads toward the nuclear option. We've previously offered you easy ways to contact your representatives on the issue...now might be a good time to do so again.

Catch up and inform yourself on what's happening:

1) Seven senators hold the fate of constitutional democracy in their hands. And breaking news: there might be an eighth. Write them now, or spend ten minutes on the phone.

2) Democrats throw a bone to the snarling Republican dogs, but they're still hungry and they smell blood.

3) Frist vs. Reid: at the end of this mess, someone's career will be over.

4) How do we ensure that this bullshit never happens again? We take seven seats back in the 2006 elections, that's how.

5) The best journalistic essay of 2005 is by Frank Rich, who exposes what this is really about. (Surprise...it ain't activist judges.)

How Sinful Are You?

Me? Not too bad, surprisingly. I guess the going-to-hell thing is a relief. I should also probably stop thinking with my penis.

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Envy: 20%

Gluttony: 20%

Greed: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 23%

You'll die of a yet to be discovered STD.

How Sinful Are You?

[Thanks to Gay Orbit]

Friday Hot Guy Blogging: Bollywood Cowboy

Today's installment is this anonymous hottie, part of the ad campaign for Fashion Cares' great fundraiser taking place in Toronto on June 4th.

From their website: "Dress in leather sarongs and satin chaps, gold bangles and silver spurs. Meet outlaws and heroes, goddesses and courtesans. The climax is a music and fashion spectacle, featuring scintillating entertainers, hundreds of sexy dancers, daring models, and the inspired designs of Wayne Clark, Comrags, Hoax Couture and Mercy." I am so there.

Performing will be Jann Arden, Feist, Brazilian Girls and Panjabi Hit Squad. You can also download an exclusive Scissor Sisters track and all the money goes to Fashion Cares. And if you've got a minute or two, you can't miss the great television ads for the event. (Click the lower left corner.)

I wanna be a cowboy...and you can be my cowgirl...

Bowflexable

So I bought one of these...hope it fits in my apartment. Anyone else using the coming spring as an excuse to start getting buff(er)?

I'll let everyone know how it works once we put it together this weekend.

Givin' Out Some Trophies

Light blogging today, because I'm managing the semi-big awards event for my day job, along with some other blog folk. Will give a full report, and will try to photoblog the stars a bit as well if I can.

Movie Musicals Update: Dreamgirls and RentBlog

The casting rumors seem to be coming true: Jamie Foxx, Usher, and Beyonce will headline the new movie version of the Broadway musical Dreamgirls. They're also going after Eddie Murphy to play James "Thunder" Early. Powerful cast list, that.

Still no word on who'll fill Jennifer Holliday's shoes as Effie...they're saying in this article that they're going to conduct a nationwide talent search. I remain skeptical; if they don't cast this foxy lady, I'll be completely shocked.

Other musical news: the movie version of Rent has launched a blog, and it's already fascinating...especially a post from Anthony Rapp, who plays Mark. He goes into extensive detail about the rehearsal process for the film and the orchestrations of the music. Wilson Jermaine Heredia talks about his big stunt scene (a drag queen doing stunts? Tell me more!), and already is subtextually trying to prove he's not a sistah in real life. The blog promises future posts by characters before the movie's November 11th opening. So break out your German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein, Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa...oh, and Carmina Burana.

Heidi Klum Stole My Man!

Hold up, wait a minute...why didn't anyone tell me about this?!?!?! My once and future boyfriend, Seal, actually went off and married Project Runway dominatrix Heidi Klum yesterday...and none of you stopped him? I thought you all had my back!

I mean, I know they're about to have a baby and all...but she's just the skanky baby's momma far as I'm concerned. I have already challenged her to a duel many times in my mind, but she never seems to notice.

But really, it seems a pathetic move on Heidi's part...we all know he really loves me more. If you listen closely to the words to "Future Love Paradise" -- which he clearly wrote when thinking about me -- you can hear him quietly moaning the words "modern" and "fabulousity" and "cocktease" in the lyrics. Trust me. It's there. I said it's there, bitches.

I'll be picking up the shattered pieces of my heart for the rest of the evening, listening to his four unbelievably great albums in succession. Not that any of you care. {sob}

Bush Takes $82 Billion More

Remember when we were all upset last year, once we learned that the senseless war in Iraq would cost $200 billion dollars (after Bush initially suggested it would be just $17 billion)? Remember how mad we all were? Remember how the Republicans killed John Kerry for voting for the $87 billion, before he voted against runaway spending without a plan? Remember no weapons of mass destruction? Remember 100,000 Iraqi civilians dead?

Now it's $300 billion.

I don't know whether I'm more upset that the money, the violence, or the fact that not even one Democratic senator could find the balls to vote against Bush's war machine.

New York Drama Critics Circle

The boys and girls at the NYDCC split down the middle, which for those of us interested in the Tony race, it helps not one bit. Doubt wins Best Play, and its major competition, The Pillowman, wins Best Foreign Play. Great.

More interesting...they declined to pick a Best Musical winner at all. Guess not everyone's thrilled with Spamalot.

If all of this makes you yearn for real classics, maybe you should step over to HamletWorks, an enormous, 10-years-in-the-making project. Nearly completed, it seeks "to compile every piece of scholarship and criticism about the play, and then to link it, line by line, to the text in an online database." Sheesh...this would have made my master's thesis a helluva lot easier.

A Very Amazing Race

Congrats to arguably the nicest people ever to hit reality television, Uchenna and Joyce. Sometimes, good does triumph over evil. And the final moments of this season finale couldn't have been a more touching, eloquent tribute to decency..U&J refused to cross the finish line until they had paid off their cab driver, nearly losing in the process.

To all of you (including my friends Shannon and Melissa) who loved Romber -- and who refused to see how bullying (little kids in India), lying (to fellow contestants), cheating (by trading on their Survivor stardom) and stealing (taxicabs) shouldn't be rewarded on national television -- the reality of this reality show is that Rob and Amber were despicable examples of humanity on this program. The irony, of course, is that they were very good racers...they didn't need to cheat or lie to win. They just preferred to.

Plus, they've got a million dollars already, from the other show that rewards despicable behavior as a matter of course. And they'll get another million for their CBS wedding special. So try not to shed too many tears over Rob and Amber. Trust me, they wouldn't shed them over you.

Breaking News: Gays Smell Funny

From today's Times: Swedish researchers have shown that homosexual and heterosexual men respond differently to two odors that may be involved in sexual arousal.

I know what you're thinking: poppers (for the gays) and beer (for the straights). No, no, no...the actual scents in the study were Aqua Velva and that new car smell from Mitsubishi. Okay, I'm kidding again.

Seriously, the new research is about phermones, and it may help discover the biological basis of sexual preference. Whoopee. Someday, we may be able to prove that we're actually attracted to each other. Won't that be nice? [/sarcasm]

Tim Burton's Vincent

Tim Burton's magnificent short film, Vincent, is now downloadable for free. A must-see, especially for those anxiously awaiting Burton's remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

[Bibi's Box]

Good and Bad News

The Good News: feeble-minded critical wasteland John Simon has been fired as lead theatre critic of New York magazine. You are now free to move about the magazine.

The Bad News: Corporate greed, welcome to the Great White Way. The Plymouth and Royale theatres are being renamed for the Shubert Organization's chief pencil-pushers, Gerald Schoenfeld and Bernard Jacobs. Honestly, I prefer it when they name them after corporations.

The Tony Nominations

With commentary from your humble editor. (Long story short: I didn't do too badly.)

The 2004-2005 Tony Award nominations follow:

Best Play
Democracy
Doubt
Gem of the Ocean
The Pillowman

I went 4/4...but this was never much of a horse race to begin with.

Best Musical
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
The Light in the Piazza
Monty Python's Spamalot
The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Again, I got this category correct, but despite the number of options -- Chitty Chitty, All Shook Up, Little Women, Brooklyn -- it was never really in doubt.

Best Revival of a Play
Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Glengarry Glen Ross
On Golden Pond
Twelve Angry Men

3/4 here...I didn't think Golden Pond had enough momentum, so I went with the closed-show-that-got-good-reviews, The Rivals. Ah, well...the battle between Angry Men and Virginia Woolf is set.

Best Revival of a Musical
La Cage aux Folles
Pacific Overtures
Sweet Charity

3/3...basically because there wasn't a fourth option.

Best Special Theatrical Event
Dame Edna: Back with a Vengeance!
Laugh Whore
700 Sundays
Whoopi, the 20th Anniversary Show

4/4. Sorry, Forever Tango...you never had a chance. You either, Jackie Mason.

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Play
Philip Bosco, Twelve Angry Men
Billy Crudup, The Pillowman
Bill Irwin, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
James Earl Jones, On Golden Pond
Brían F. O'Byrne, Doubt

5/5, but I'm still shocked that Julius Caesar went home with nary a nomination to its name. Note to Denzel: sometimes, it's just an honor to be a presenter.

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Play
Cherry Jones, Doubt
Laura Linney, Sight Unseen
Mary-Louise Parker, Reckless
Phylicia Rashad, Gem of the Ocean
Kathleen Turner, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

I went 4/5, basically because I picked against my better judgement. I haven't seen Streetcar Named Desire, but I thought the generally well-liked Natasha Richardson might beat out Rashad. Clearly, Rashad is also well-liked.

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical
Hank Azaria, Monty Python's Spamalot
Gary Beach, La Cage aux Folles
Norbert Leo Butz, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Tim Curry, Monty Python's Spamalot
John Lithgow, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Only 4 of the 5 here. I guessed totally wrong on the Spamalot leads, thinking David Hyde Pierce would beat out Azaria, who I felt was simply imitating the movie. Sorry, Niles...no trophy for you.

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical
Christina Applegate, Sweet Charity
Victoria Clark, The Light in the Piazza
Erin Dilly, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Sutton Foster, Little Women
Sherie Rene Scott, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

5/5. Chitty Chitty and Little Women finally get on the board.

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Play
Alan Alda, Glengarry Glen Ross
Gordon Clapp, Glengarry Glen Ross
David Harbour, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Liev Schreiber, Glengarry Glen Ross
Michael Stuhlbarg, The Pillowman

4/5, and I'm kind of shocked by it. I never thought Gordon Clapp's performance was nomination worthy, although it's good. And Jeff Goldblum's turn in The Pillowman is so showy that it demands attention. Oh well, in some way I'm glad...this clears the way for Michael Stuhlbarg to rightfully claim his trophy.

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Play
Mireille Enos, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Heather Goldenhersh, Doubt
Dana Ivey, The Rivals
Adriane Lenox, Doubt
Amy Ryan, A Streetcar Named Desire

I went 3-for-5, and again, I'm a bit surprised. Tony always throws one curveball, and this year it's Dana Ivey, who takes the slot that should have gone to Carla Gugino. And Nathaniel will be mad, but Amy Ryan has been building buzz this last week, and she becomes the only nominee from Streetcar.

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Musical
Dan Fogler, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Marc Kudisch, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Michael McGrath, Monty Python's Spamalot
Matthew Morrison, The Light in the Piazza
Christopher Sieber, Monty Python's Spamalot

My worst category, with only 2 out of the 5 correct. What to say? McGrath made almost no impression on me in Spamalot, whereas Christian Borle drew a standing ovation on the night I saw it. Marc Kudisch is an old hand on Broadway, but his work in Chitty is sub-par. I'm happy about Matthew Morrison and the Piazza love, but I think his performance is one of the weaker ones in that show. I still wish Roger Bart had made the cut.

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical
Joanna Gleason, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Celia Keenan-Bolger, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Jan Maxwell, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Kelli O'Hara, The Light in the Piazza
Sara Ramirez, Monty Python's Spamalot

I went 4/5 here, and I'm glad for it. I assumed that Maureen McGovern's relentless campaigning would push her stilted Little Women performance over the top. I'm thrilled that Celia Keenan-Bolger's Bee magic won the day instead.

Best Direction of a Play
John Crowley, The Pillowman
Scott Ellis, Twelve Angry Men
Doug Hughes, Doubt
Joe Mantello, Glengarry Glen Ross

3/4, as the very good work of John Crowley beat out Anthony Page's equally good effort for Virginia Woolf.

Best Direction of a Musical
James Lapine, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Mike Nichols, Monty Python's Spamalot
Jack O’Brien, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Bartlett Sher, The Light in the Piazza

4/4. I rock. I truly do.

Best Original Score (Music and/or Lyrics) Written for the Theatre
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Music & Lyrics: David Yazbek
The Light in the Piazza
Music & Lyrics: Adam Guettel
Monty Python's Spamalot
Music: John Du Prez and Eric Idle; Lyrics: Eric Idle
The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Music & Lyrics: William Finn

A perfect 4/4 for me. Will be interesting to see who wins this...a true indicator category come awards night.

Best Book of a Musical
Jeffrey Lane, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Craig Lucas, The Light in the Piazza
Eric Idle, Monty Python's Spamalot
Rachel Sheinkin, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

3/4...but I'll gladly take Jeffrey Lane over Nathan Lane anyday.

These categories I didn't prognosticate...but that won't keep me from commenting on them.

Best Choreography
Wayne Cilento, Sweet Charity
Jerry Mitchell, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Jerry Mitchell, La Cage aux Folles
Casey Nicholaw, Monty Python's Spamalot

Does Cilento sneak through, now that Mitchell may cancel himself out?

Best Orchestrations
Larry Hochman, Monty Python's Spamalot
Ted Sperling, Adam Guettel and Bruce Coughlin, The Light in the Piazza
Jonathan Tunick, Pacific Overtures
Harold Wheeler, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Sperling's work on Piazza was great, but I suspect Tunick will pick up a polite nod to Pacific Overtures.

Best Scenic Design of a Play
John Lee Beatty, Doubt
David Gallo, Gem of the Ocean
Santo Loquasto, Glengarry Glen Ross
Scott Pask, The Pillowman

The set design was the worst thing about Doubt, so I take it out of contention. My vote? The eerie fantasies of The Pillowman.

Best Scenic Design of a Musical
Tim Hatley, Monty Python's Spamalot
Rumi Matsui, Pacific Overtures
Anthony Ward, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Michael Yeargan, The Light in the Piazza

If Piazza loses, there is no God. Period.

Best Costume Design of a Play
Jess Goldstein, The Rivals
Jane Greenwood, Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
William Ivey Long, A Streetcar Named Desire
Constanza Romero, Gem of the Ocean

Didn't see any but Woolf, so I really can't imagine what would win.

Best Costume Design of a Musical
Tim Hatley, Monty Python's Spamalot
Junko Koshino, Pacific Overtures
William Ivey Long, La Cage aux Folles
Catherine Zuber, The Light in the Piazza

If Piazza loses, there is still no God. Period.

Best Lighting Design of a Play
Pat Collins, Doubt
Donald Holder, Gem of the Ocean
Donald Holder, A Streetcar Named Desire
Brian MacDevitt, The Pillowman

Can anyone beat Pillowman? Maybe...Gem of the Ocean has a shot.

Best Lighting Design of a Musical
Christopher Akerlind, The Light in the Piazza
Mark Henderson, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Kenneth Posner, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Hugh Vanstone, Monty Python's Spamalot

If Piazza loses, there is no God for a third time. Period.

Regional Theatre Tony Award
Theatre de la Jeune Lune, Minneapolis, Minnesota

An excellent, excellent choice...one of the best companies in the country.

Special Tony Award for Lifetime Achievement in the Theatre
Edward Albee

Otherwise known as the consolation prize when Virginia Woolf loses to Twelve Angry Men.

The Huffington Post

Arianna's celeb-packed political blog The Huffington Post launches today, and it's already got contributions by Larry David, Walter Cronkite, Ellen Degeneres, Russell Simmons, John Cusack, Mike Nichols, Julia-Louis Dreyfus, Jon Corzine, Tina Brown, Jon Robin Baitz, and David Mamet. It's never less than fascinating, from a policy and/or starf#@!ing point of view. Interesting news wire selections, too.

The Old Grey Lady Gets Religion

The most important newspaper in the world, The New York Times, has faced a crisis of conscience since its scandals two years ago. Now an internal review committee has come up with ideas to shore up confidence and readership.

And their big idea? Go conservative, go right-wing, go fundie. The paper will "increase our coverage of religion in America" and "cover the country in a fuller way," with more reporting from rural areas and of a broader array of cultural and lifestyle issues.

On the surface, that's not a big deal, right? Think again. This is the New York Times, not USA Today...it's a paper for and about New York City and what happens here and how we see the world. Unlike its rural counterparts, it has unprecedented coverage of culture and world affairs from an urban and urbane perspective...something that will probably lessen if they add a faith-based section.

As history has shown us, when newspapers begin to be driven by market share rather than news reporter, they lose their critical acumen. I don't want to see the Times corrupt itself into looking like every other newspaper in the country. Don't they have Christian newspapers out in the hinterland to cover things with a Christian bent? Is secular thought -- and culture, and objectivity, and hard-news reporting -- dead in this country?

Or do I have to start subscribing to the Washington Post (still the best newspaper in the country) and the Los Angeles Times (most improved, and increasingly a must-read)?

Tony Award Nominations - Final Predictions

So in the final analysis before the Tony nominations are announced tomorrow, I've made some big decisions: shutouts for The Glass Menagerie and Julius Caesar and All Shook Up; stronger showings for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Spamalot than they probably deserve; and big totals for Doubt and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. What are your thoughts? Analysis tomorrow after the announcement:

BEST PLAY
Democracy
Doubt
Gem of the Ocean
The Pillowman

BEST PLAY REVIVAL
Glengarry Glen Ross
The Rivals
Twelve Angry Men
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

BEST DIRECTOR - PLAY
Scott Ellis, Twelve Angry Men
Doug Hughes, Doubt
Joe Mantello, Glengarry Glen Ross
Anthony Page, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

BEST ACTOR - PLAY
Philip Bosco, Twelve Angry Men
Billy Crudup, The Pillowman
Bill Irwin, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf
James Earl Jones, On Golden Pond
Brian F O'Byrne, Doubt
(although I still think Denzel's star power gives him a shot)

BEST ACTRESS - PLAY
Cherry Jones, Doubt
Laura Linney, Sight Unseen
Mary Louise Parker, Reckless
Natasha Richardson, A Streetcar Named Desire
Kathleen Turner, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf

BEST FEATURED ACTOR - PLAY
Alan Alda, Glengarry Glen Ross
Jeff Goldblum, The Pillowman
David Harbour, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf
Liev Schreiber, Glengarry Glen Ross
Michael Stuhlbarg, The Pillowman

BEST FEATURED ACTRESS - PLAY
Mireille Enos, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Heather Goldenhersh, Doubt
Carla Gugino, After The Fall
Adriane Lenox, Doubt
Frances Sternhagen, Steel Magnolias

SPECIAL THEATRICAL EVENT
700 Sundays
Dame Edna: Back with a Vengeance!
Laugh Whore
Whoopi: The 20th Anniversary Show

BEST MUSICAL
The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
The Light in the Piazza
Monty Python's Spamalot

BEST MUSICAL REVIVAL
La Cage Aux Folles
Pacific Overtures
Sweet Charity

BEST DIRECTOR - MUSICAL
James Lapine, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Mike Nichols, Spamalot
Jack O'Brien, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Bartlett Sher, The Light in the Piazza

BEST BOOK OF A MUSICAL
Nathan Lane, The Frogs
Craig Lucas, The Light in the Piazza
Rachel Sheinkin, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Eric Idle, Monty Python's Spamalot

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
William Finn, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Adam Guettel, The Light in the Piazza
Stephen Sondheim, The Frogs
David Yazbek, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

BEST ACTOR - MUSICAL
Gary Beach, Le Cage Aux Folles
Norbert Leo Butz, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Raul Esparaza, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
John Lithgow, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
David Hyde Pierce, Monty Python's Spamalot

BEST ACTRESS - MUSICAL
Christina Applegate, Sweet Charity
Victoria Clark, The Light in the Piazza
Erin Dilly, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Sutton Foster, Little Women: The Musical
Sherie Rene Scott, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

BEST FEATURED ACTRESS - MUSICAL
Christian Borle, Monty Python's Spamalot
Roger Bart, The Frogs
Dan Fogler, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Dennis O'Hare, Sweet Charity
Christopher Sieber, Monty Python's Spamalot

BEST FEATURED ACTRESS - MUSICAL
Joanna Gleason, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Jan Maxwell, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Maureen McGovern, Little Women: The Musical
Kelli O'Hara, The Light in the Piazza
Sara Ramirez, Monty Python's Spamalot

This Week In Modern Fabulousity - May 9, 2005

The Fab Listings are movie-less and music-less...'cause it's an all-reality week! To wit:

THE AMAZING RACE: Will good (Uchenna and Joyce) triumph over evil (Rob and Amber)? Cross your fingers and pray during Tuesday night's season finale. (Get a sappy preview here...let's hope the real episode is more French Connection, less Beaches.)

THE APPRENTICE: The Trumpster is down to the final two -- Mary Kay super-saleswoman Tana and real-estate mogul wannabe Kendra -- and this week's final test will be all Donald needs to make his ultimate decision next week. (Go, Tana, Go!)

PROJECT GREENLIGHT: After futzing through the entire shoot, nebbish director John Gulager got a big surprise last week -- the suits at Miramax actually liked his horror flick Feast. This week's season finale will let us know if test audiences agree.

SURVIVOR: Thursday the Band of Five will become the Final Four. Then Sunday, the season finale will let everyone know if Tom's as smart as he seems to be.

Kingdom of Heaven: A Conversation

Over at Mixed Reviews, there's a transcribed conversation that I did for the "Critics Over Coffee" series with my friend Jill Cozzi. The topic: Ridley Scott's Crusades-with-a-conscience epic Kingdom of Heaven, starring Orlando Bloom. Enjoy.

The Tony Race: Outer Critics Circle Winners

The first major Tony Award indicator -- and the only one that precedes the Tony nomination announcement next Tuesday -- are the 2005 Outer Critics Circle Awards, chosen by journalists who write for out-of-town news outlets. Analyis of the winners after the jump:

OUTER CRITICS CIRCLE AWARDS

OUTSTANDING BROADWAY PLAY
Brooklyn Boy
Democracy
*Doubt
Gem of the Ocean
The Pillowman

OUTSTANDING BROADWAY MUSICAL
All Shook Up
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
The Light in the Piazza
*Monty Python's Spamalot

OUTSTANDING OFF-BROADWAY PLAY (tie)
*Fat Pig
*Going to St. Ives
Moonlight and Magnolias
Romance
String of Pearls

OUTSTANDING OFF-BROADWAY MUSICAL
*Altar Boyz
Dessa Rose
Lone Star Love

OUTSTANDING REVIVAL OF A PLAY
Counsellor-at-Law
Glengarry Glen Ross
A Streetcar Named Desire
*Twelve Angry Men
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

OUTSTANDING REVIVAL OF A MUSICAL
*La Cage aux Folles
Pacific Overtures
Shockheaded Peter
Sweet Charity

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A PLAY
Alan Alda, Glengarry Glen Ross
Billy Crudup, The Pillowman
James Earl Jones, On Golden Pond
*Brían F. O'Byrne, Doubt
John Rubinstein, Counsellor-at-Law

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A PLAY
L. Scott Caldwell, Going to St. Ives
*Cherry Jones, Doubt
Laura Linney, Sight Unseen
Natasha Richardson, A Streetcar Named Desire
Kathleen Turner, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A MUSICAL
*Norbert Leo Butz, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Tim Curry, Monty Python's Spamalot
Raúl Esparza, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Cheyenne Jackson, All Shook Up
Denis O'Hare, Sweet Charity

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL
*Victoria Clark, The Light in the Piazza
Erin Dilly, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Sutton Foster, Little Women the Musical
Jenn Gambatese, All Shook Up
Sherie Rene Scott, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

OUTSTANDING FEATURED ACTOR IN A PLAY
Chris Bauer, A Streetcar Named Desire
Philip Bosco, Twelve Angry Men
Larry Bryggman, Romance
*Jeff Goldblum, The Pillowman
David Harbour, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

OUTSTANDING FEATURED ACTRESS IN A PLAY
Ashlie Atkinson, Fat Pig
Heather Goldenhersh, Doubt
Carla Gugino, After the Fall
Adriane Lenox, Doubt
*Amy Ryan, A Streetcar Named Desire

OUTSTANDING FEATURED ACTOR IN A MUSICAL
Michael Berresse, The Light in the Piazza
*Dan Fogler, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Mark Harelik, The Light in the Piazza
Marc Kudisch, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Matthew Morrison, The Light in the Piazza

OUTSTANDING FEATURED ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL
Sarah Uriarte Berry, The Light in the Piazza
Joanna Gleason, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Jan Maxwell, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Kelli O'Hara, The Light in the Piazza
*Sara Ramirez, Monty Python's Spamalot

OUTSTANDING SOLO PERFORMANCE
Gareth Armstrong, Shylock
Mario Cantone, Laugh Whore
*Billy Crystal, 700 Sundays
Heather Raffo, Nine Parts of Desire
Mercedes Ruehl, Woman Before a Glass

OUTSTANDING DIRECTION OF A PLAY
John Crowley, The Pillowman
*Doug Hughes, Doubt
Joe Mantello, Glengarry Glen Ross
Anthony Page, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Dan Wackerman, Counsellor-at-Law

OUTSTANDING DIRECTION OF A MUSICAL
Walter Bobbie, Sweet Charity
*Mike Nichols, Monty Python's Spamalot
Adrian Noble, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Jack O'Brien, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Bartlett Sher, The Light in the Piazza

OUTSTANDING CHOREOGRAPHY
Wayne Cilento, Sweet Charity
Gillian Lynne, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
*Jerry Mitchell, La Cage aux Folles
Jerry Mitchell, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Casey Nicholaw, Monty Python's Spamalot

OUTSTANDING SET DESIGN
Robert Brill, A Streetcar Named Desire
Tim Hatley, Monty Python’s Spamalot
Scott Pask, The Pillowman
*Anthony Ward, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Michael Yeargan, The Light in the Piazza

OUTSTANDING COSTUME DESIGN
*Tim Hatley, Monty Python's Spamalot
Junko Koshino, Pacific Overtures
William Ivey Long, La Cage aux Folles
Anthony Ward, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Catherine Zuber, The Light in the Piazza

OUTSTANDING LIGHTING DESIGN
*Christopher Akerlind, The Light in the Piazza
Mark Henderson, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Donald Holder, Gem of the Ocean
Brian MacDevitt, The Pillowman
Hugh Vanstone, Monty Python’s Spamalot

JOHN GASSNER AWARD
(Presented for an American play, preferably by a new playwright)
David Folwell, Boise
Gina Gionfriddo, After Ashley
*Ron Hutchinson, Moonlight and Magnolias

Not too many surprises here -- favorites Doubt, Spamalot, Twelve Angry Men and Le Cage Aux Folles all reinforced their leads here. Taking the hits are The Pillowman and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, who are slowly fading as the major alternatives in the play categories. (If I were a producer for either show, however, I wouldn't go down without a fight...a spirited ad campaign could put either show back into contention.)

The actor races are interesting, however...Brian F. O'Byrne solidifies his chances for a back-to-back Tony repeat (he won for Frozen last year), and with Alan Alda out of lead contention unless the appeal comes through, this may come down to a race between O'Byrne and Pillowman star Billy Crudup, an actor who's paid his dues and could find favor with voters who want to spread the love around.

I'm thrilled to see Norbert Leo Butz getting an early win for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels; let's hope he carries the momentum all the way. Likewise, Spelling Bee's Dan Fogler, Piazza's Victoria Clark and Spamalot's Sara Ramirez -- the best thing, respectively, about each show -- should continue to reap award rewards.

Even though I hear she's good, I'm going to pay little attention to Amy Ryan's win for A Streetcar Named Desire. It smells of consolation-prize pathos to me. I still think the buzz is with Enos Mereilles for Woolf for that slot in Featured Actress.

Crushing The Competition

Nick Denton, overlord of Gawker Media and blog coverboy, underplays the importance of blogs in his New York Times interview today, and poo-poohs the revolution in media they are bringing. Which might cause one to ponder: why would he underplay his own medium?

Simple answer: because the blogpond is getting bigger (MUCH bigger) very quickly, and he doesn't want to stop being the big fish.

Adapt or die, Nick. It's true for mainstream media, and it's true for you. (And update your own blog while you're at it.)

P.S. -- Speaking of the competition, one of them launches tomorrow...Arianna Huffington's celeb-written blog, The Huffington Post. Bookmark away.

The World's Best Museums...for Free!

If you're a Bank of America customer, that is. Having recently acquired a number of smaller banks in the mid-Atlantic and New England areas, the new monetary powerhouse is trying to cozy up to its newly-acquired customers in an exciting way: for the month of May, you can go to museums in seven states for free, simply by showing your Bank of America card. It includes the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Whitney Museum, the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the New York Botanical Garden, the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library, Liberty Science Center, the Museum of the Moving Image (my favorite), and Boston's Museum of Fine Arts...56 in all.

Check it out...and go see some art while celebrating the arrival of spring.

You Think Broadway Prices Are Ridiculous?

Try these: a high-school production of Beauty and the Beast with flying actors and a $165,000 budget.

Makes my senior year, cardboard-set production of Damn Yankees seem pretty useless by comparison. Heck, makes my own professional company seem useless....that budget rivals those of the biggest Off-Broadway companies.

Nuclear Fallout

Keep your eyes open this week, gang...word is that the Republicans are going to begin the so-called "nuclear option" to force ultra-conservative justices through the Senate approval process. It is arguably the most important moment in government of my lifetime...a sweeping sea change in the way the three branches of government operate. Checks and balances will no longer check and balance as they used to.

The Washington Post has a great rundown today on the importance of filibusters; the Times weighs in with a piece on the current political firestorm surrounding the issue. The must-read, of course, is from AmericaBlog, who reveals the true source of the Republican desire to alter decades of good government: the Christian right, who are desperate to push America towards theocracy.

It's time for you to be heard, ModFabbers. Call or e-mail your Senator now. It's especially important if you live in one of the following six states, where your Republican senators are still undecided:

Susan Collins (R-Maine)
Chuck Hagel (R-Nebraska)
Dick Lugar (R-Indiana)
Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska)
Arlen Specter (R-Pennsylvania)
John Warner (R-Virginia)

Feminist Majority has an excellent quickie email blast set up for you (all you do is enter your zip code).

And if you're a blogger from one of those states, send me a link and I'll send traffic your way. Fight the power, people!

The Bunny Blog

The inimitable Lady Bunny has a blog...and the drag superstar is as witty in prose as she is in person. I've been reading RuPaul's blog for some time, but now ModFab wonders: how many drag bloggers are out there? Hedda Lettuce's site is currently under construction, and a quick Google search reveals the fabulous (but blog-less) sites of Shequida, Varla Jean Merman, Cashetta, Joey Arias, and the queen mothers. Note: the blogosphere needs more fierce drag!

Tony Predictions: The Scripts

Nick's Flick Picks takes an unorthodox (and utterly fascination) approach to handicapping the Tony Awards...having seen none of the productions, he reads the scripts instead. Interesting that he agrees with me (who hasn't read a one, but has seen them all) that the strongest of the bunch, by far, is this one.

Friday Hot Guy Blogging: Daniel Norell

For this week's foray into the lurid world of man candy, I give you Daniel Norell. Based in Stockholm, the actor/model/bodybuilder is of Swedish and West Indian origin; you may have seen him gracing the covers of magazines like Men's Workout and Exercise For Men. Also a fitness trainer and rescue worker, Norell will soon be moving to North America to pursue a higher profile career in modeling. And before you ask, Daniel already has an invitation to stay at the ModFab HQ, so keep your greedy paws off, beeyatches.

NOTE: Since Friday Hot Guy Blogging has become so popular, I'm now taking suggestions from all you ModFabbers out there. Who do you want to see in the Hot Guy spotlight? Email us at modern(dot)fabulousity(at)gmail.com.

And to whet your appetite even further, here's another shot of Daniel, and a link to more photos.

Corey Clark Admits To Being A Jealous Bitch

As part of his media tour, American Idol reject Corey Clark momentarily let the real truth hang out. On FoxNews' "Studio B," Clark said American Idol has "done a great job of defaming my name and throwing a lot of mud at me for the past two years. So that set up a lot of roadblocks for me. You know, I lost a deal at Jive Records thanks to them."

Oh really? I was under the impression that American Idol made a career possible for your ungrateful ass. He continues:

"They sent over a pretty harsh e-mail just basically saying, yeah, I was a talented dude but I was hard to deal with when I was on the show, and a lot of the things I was doing on the show were, you know, right business moves -- I just wasn't letting them exploit me or my fellow contestants. . . . And they came up with some bull-mess to get me out of there with it."

By "bull-mess", of course, Clark is referring to his arrest record for assaulting his sister...a record that he neglected to tell Idol producers about.

I hate opportunists. Especially if he gets Paula Abdul fired over all this. Still, I am nothing if not catty and two-faced, so here's a fun list of possible replacements for Abdul.

ModFab Review: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

While it's safe to say that STAR WARS, EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH will not be in competition for the Best Film Oscar next year, the story might be different if there were a category for Most Improved. For under that criteria, it would surely win in a walk. Its two predecessors in the Star Wars canon -- the dreary and dour Phantom Menace and the incoherent Attack of the Clones -- not only disappointed fans and confused casual audiences, but also sullied memories of the original 1970's trilogy, diluting the saga of the Skywalker clan and their imaginative universe. For many, the newest efforts by George Lucas can still be summed up in one phrase: Jar Jar Binks.

Which will make the experience of the final film in the series, REVENGE OF THE SITH, an unexpectedly sweet pleasure. A dark and gripping slice of space opera, it successfully avoids the pitfalls of its predecessors with a dense but cohesive narrative, strong character development, and a grand, epic struggle between the forces of good and evil. The Star Wars-ian mythology is expanded in careful detail, with new additions to the legends as it comes to its conclusion. Perhaps most importantly, director/screenwriter Lucas finds surprising and satisfying ways to connect this generation's characters (Anakin, Padme, et al) to the next (Luke, Leia), even as the modern triptych completes the circle back to where it all began: long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away.

REVENGE OF THE SITH is, ultimately, about the transforming fall from grace of Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), a particularly talented Jedi Knight who, through a combination of ambition and circumstance, feels a strong pull towards the Dark Side of the Force. The pull towards his new bride, Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman), is even stronger; it threatens both his relationship with the Jedi Council and his bond with mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor). Confused and restless, Anakin takes some solace in the eerie comfort of Senator Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid), a politician with an agenda of his own; the war that has rocked the Republic is coming to a close, and a new order is coming...one that presages the Empire of Darth Vader and its diabolical Emperor.

Lucas breaks up the soapy politics and court intrigue with some astonishing action sequences, including a breathless space battle and some vintage lightsaber action. With a clarity that has eluded him in previous outings, the director propels the Anakin/Padme love story with a velocity that will please even the most skeptical viewer. For comic relief, Lucas employs a gallery of old friends, including Yoda (who has become quite the ass-kicker); the comedy duo C-3PO and R2D2, who return to their wisecracking ways seen in The Empire Strikes Back; and most appealingly, Chewbacca, who appears in an extended sequence on the Wookie homeworld...and is revealed to be responsible for Yoda's secret getaway to the swamp planet Dagobah.

The computer-designed universe Lucas utilized in Menace and Clones seemed plastic and sterile, beautiful landscapes that lacked any sense of life. Thankfully, technology has progressed enough in REVENGE OF THE SITH to make the backdrops pulsate with energy and vibrancy. Sequences on lava-covered mining worlds, inside space cruisers, and on the expansive floor of the Imperial Senate almost crackle with intensity; finally, Lucas' vision has borne fruit, making CGI an emotional medium as well as a visual one.

The non-CGI actors -- look Ma, real humans! -- contain some pleasant surprises, too. Christensen is given the thankless task of trasmogrifying into Darth Vader, one of the most iconic characters in the history of cinema. His smoldering rage and jealous fury doesn't quite make it all the way, but it's enough to suspend disbelief. (Who knew that adolescent rebellion could change the face of an entire universe?) McGregor seems to be having a marvelous time turning Obi-Wan into a futuristic swashbuckler, as does McDiarmid, who gleefully employs every villainous trick in the book except twirling a mustache.

Lucas' screenplay is his strongest in years, and even contains a few barely-concealed critiques of the Bush Administration and the Iraq War. The commentaries on democracy are offered in direct counterpoint to a government that is clearly overstepping its bounds, and the parallels are obvious to anyone looking for them. While Bush might not be an evil emperor (yet), it's not that far a trip from Senator Palpatine to Tom DeLay.

Its contemporary resonance, however, is subtle, and never gets in the way of the entertaining journey. REVENGE OF THE SITH may not be the series' best (that title still goes to Empire), but it can comfortably sit in a place of privilege among Lucas' six efforts. In the end, its greatest accomplishment may be to nullify the weaknesses of other, lesser installments. The lingering memories of Jar-Jar are forgiven (almost); George Lucas has shown us how to dream of galaxies again...and how fun he can make an afternoon at the movies.

Important Tony Award Eligibility Changes

Some things to watch for the nominations next week:

With the news that Alan Alda will not, as previously believed, be in the Lead Actor category -- the entire ensemble of Glengarry Glen Ross will be considered in the Featured (Supporting) category instead -- it means that Billy Crudup and Alan Arkin are probably the ones who'll join Brian F. O'Byrne, Bill Irwin, and Denzel Washington in the Lead Actor category. As for Featured Actor, Alda will probably bump The Pillowman's Zeljko Ivanek off the list...but not Michael Stuhlbarg, who owns that show. Jeff Goldblum, from the same production, has decided to go it as a Leading Actor...and will be skipped over for Crudup's far superior work in their scenes together. (Interesting side note: the marvelously spooky music from The Pillowman will be eligible for Best Original Score consideration. Can it trump one of the musicals?)

Doing Jersey Proud

Among the blue states, it's the bluest of the blue: a majority of New Jersey residents are in favor of equal marriage rights for gays and lesbians.

If I hadn't already adopted N.J. in my heart, I'd do so now. Feel free to move and enjoy the good schools, lower rents, and great human rights record.

[Towleroad]

New HIV Ad

After posting that scary spider thing last week, I thought you might enjoy a more upbeat HIV awareness advertisement. This 3-minute animated cartoon is a hilarious and moving look at sex and the single girl.

FabDesign: Alexander McQueen

From our friends at ManChic come these groovy pics of the Spring 2005 collection of Alexander McQueen, perhaps our favorite designer at the moment. What a better way to celebrate spring than by wearing great, inventive stuff?

As ManChic notes: "Instead of using professional catwalkers, the London-based designer ‘imported’ military cadets from West Point for their ‘military bearing,’ and personally handpicked Asian lads to show off the eastern influence of the collection." West Point meets high fashion? And here I thought they didn't like gays in the military.

On McQueen's excellent website there are great shots of his designs for Autumn 2006, if you're fashion-forward enough to be thinking about next fall. New York's got photos of McQueen collections going back three years, if you're interested in wandering down memory lane.

BazWatch: Kidman and Crowe

The incredibly talented force of nature known as Baz Luhrmann -- the creative mind behind films like Moulin Rouge and Broadway's La Boheme -- has abandoned his plan for a biopic about Alexander the Great for an even better idea: a period epic starring Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe.

Supposedly, it's the Australian Gone With The Wind. That sound you hear is a gazillion movie fans all over the world who just gasped with glee. The entire ModFab staff is completed psyched, and will immediately watch the DVD of Strictly Ballroom to celebrate.

Smartest, Coolest Apartment: The Finalists

Apartment Therapy's incredibly fab First Annual Smartest, Coolest Apartment Contest has nearly reached its conclusion, and you've only got about 24 hours to vote for your favorite among the five finalists: Brandon's Chic Shoebox, Hilary's Light N' Comfy Hangout, Paul's Pivoting Perfection, Patrick's Cosmo-Urban Studio Rental, and Robert's Golden Handcuffs. I had picked Brandon and Patrick in the first round last month, and I'm going with Patrick to take the final prize. A dark horse might be Robert, however, whose apartment is a lot cuter than I remember it being.

Who do you like in this Manhattan Derby?

More DeLay-ing Tactics

In an effort to avoid an independent counsel investigation, two Republicans have withdrawn from the House ethics committee's probe into Majority Leader Tom DeLay. The reason? They wrote checks to his legal defense fund. Yes kids, I'd call that bias.

But since they have nothing to do, maybe they can go find the missing $100 million from U.S. taxpayers that was supposed to go to Iraq...and is now lost.

Tonys Go Live

The 2005 Tony Awards site is live. It looks unsurprisingly like the 2004 site, except it has new info. Nominations will be announced next Tuesday by Alan Cumming, Lynn Redgrave, Kate Burton, and the nicest guy in the industry, Brian Stokes Mitchell, whose current show is sheer brilliance.

Paula Abdul and Corey Clark

Having just watched the ABC piece "Fallen Idol" (a terrible title if there ever was one), I think the he-said, she-said sensationalism of former American Idol-ater Corey Clark and whether (or not) he had a relationship with Paula Abdul is the least interesting part of the story. Highlighted phone records, ambiguous voicemail messages, and tearful parents are sooooo dull. If Paula and the A.I. legal team are smart, they will ignore all of this. Corey Clark came off like a cheap hustler and huckster, a craven opportunist with an axe to grind; since the viewing audience (not the judges, nor Ryan Secrest) choose the winner of American Idol, the show isn't really sullied any more than it already was. (Remember Jennifer Hudson? Now she had grounds to be pissed.)

Even ABC will suffer if Fox and Abdul decide to take the high ground...their desire to hurt a competing network was pretty transparent. Peddling gaudy sensationalism is hardly the stuff of Peabody Awards, and if they find that the story has no traction, they'll get back to transcribing the President's press releases in no time.

Watching "Fallen Idol", however, I was struck by something pretty important, if you can believe it -- the sheer force of the story behind the story. For there's a mighty convergence of conglomerates, corporations, and entertainment industries that clearly have much to lose, or gain, in the allegations of one formerly forgotten also-ran.

The losers on Paula's side are obvious: the American Idol franchise could lose its last remaining vestiges of credibility; Fox could see its ad revenues plunge on the two nights that Idol anchors for the network; a struggling recording industry could lose its last bona fide hitmaking machine. And let's not forget Paula herself, who has a new record on the horizon and a resurgent, cross-platform career to think of. It could all go up in smoke very fast, like the sales of, say, Spellbound.

Should the Queen of Idol be taken down, the winners would be ABC and CBS, who would probably own Tuesdays and Wednesdays on the TV dial if American Idol were to disappear. Clark's agent might not do too badly, especially if Simon and Schuster pick up the smutty tell-all book the contestant is peddling. And the tabloids might be able to move Britney's pregnancy and Angelina-and-Brad temporarily off their covers.

The irony: Corey Clark probably wins either way. The scandal he has revealed/fabricated will buy him a tiny corner of pop-culture history, and his forthcoming album -- peddled endlessly on the ABC special, with embarrassingly long takes of Clark recording an anti-Abdul track in the studio -- will fit nicely into collections that include William Hung's discography. What "Fallen Idol" made very clear is that Clark has nothing to lose by tearing down Paula Abdul, and a great deal to gain. And the timing couldn't be better for him. Almost like he planned it that way.

So even though this is really about a poor, young opportunist getting his piece of the pie, it's about far more than that...television advertising, music's market share, and the harsher realities behind reality television.

Rosie says it much better than I do, pointing out an important element: that Corey prepared very well for his eventual betrayal of Adbul. In retrospect...of course Rosie says it better than I do. I am but a mediocre blogger, and she is a great author/actress/host/producer/blogger. (I still say George shouldn't have said those things about her. She did a marvelous job with his show, my favorite from the '04 season. I'm going to listen to it again now, to get that awful Corey Clark song out of my head.)

Rob and Ambah, Reality Whores

I hate them so much. They're destroying my favorite show, The Amazing Race, with underhanded tricks...and now they're never going away. I swear, I'd beat him with a stick if I saw him on the street.

Hey Maryann (and my other struggling actor friends)...

This is not the way to get an acting gig...no matter how enjoyably Penthouse Forum it may sound. And while I'm at it, this is not the way to hire actors, either.

First Love: Rosie O'Donnell

It's easy to take potshots at Rosie O'Donnell...her outsized personality and emotional bluster make it easy. But today on her increasingly fascinating blog, she tells the story of her first love in college. And damn if I wasn't moved by it. Check it out, and tell me what you think...am I sucker for love stories?

Bright Idea: Movies That Actually Start On Time

This week, I went with my friend Melissa of Quo Vadimus to see an incredibly crappy movie. As if the totally unnecessary 2-hours-plus runtime wasn't offensive enough (edit something people, anything), it was preceded by almost 25 minutes of commercials and trailers. Now, I love a good trailer as much as anybody, but even I got irate watching commercials for products I will never use. Being an overweight gay theatre director, I will rarely need to chug neon-colored power drinks to help me compete in skateboarding championships.

So it was with great relief and excitement that I greeted today's news: Loews' Cineplex will now start advertising the actual start times of their movies....sort of. Starting next month, the chain's movie listings will include an admission that "the feature presentation starts 10 to 15 minutes after the posted show time."

I'm not sure how much it will actually help here in New York...first, people don't read; and second, big movies routinely sell out (necessitating a very early arrival if you want a decent seat). Still, it's a baby step toward honesty. And if the movieplexes want to compete in the on-demand, BitTorrent-happy world of the future, they'll need to start respecting their audiences a lot more than they do now.

Related Note: I'm fascinated that Oscar-winning director Steven Soderbergh's next film, Bubble, will be released simultaneously on DVD, cable on-demand, and in theatres. The end of format as we know it?

Tapped for the Meme Quiz

Thanks to Jill and Brilliant at Breakfast, I got tapped to do the next installment of the Meme Quiz that's been floating around the blogosphere, where one blogger after another are answering slam-book questions from the 7th grade. And who am I to avoid regressing? At least this time (and unlike in 7th grade), I got picked for the blog equivalent of the kickball team.

Here goes:

If I could be a scientist: I'd be a etymologist, figuring out why the English language is so completely screwed up. (Whadaya mean, cough and bough don't sound alike!?!?)

If I could be a musician: I'm tempted to say I am one; I can play piano reasonably well. But my real dream, like any white gay boy, is to be a soul singer...Marvin Gaye, Bill Withers, Wilson Pickett, Otis Redding, Maxwell, D'Angelo. I'd happily give up a body part to be any of them for a week.

If I could be a doctor: Blood makes me queasy, and being a psychologist sounds like hell. How about a doctor of philosophy? I can do Heidegger with the best of them.

If I could be a painter: So, so, so many to choose from. For landscapes, Jean-Baptiste-Camille Corot or Asher Durand; for figures, Jacques-Louis David or Amadeo Modigliani; for drama, Caravaggio and Georges de la Tour. I'm an enormous fan of Paul Cadmus, and I love Ray Caesar, Sas Christian, and the graphic novels of Jose Villarrubia. Don't even get me started on gay painters or photography (my real loves).

If I could be an innkeeper: I'd either have a funky little B&B on the island of St. John, or run mega-hotels like Trump. Nothing in between...too much work.

And now to pass it on: I'm tagging the blogmasters Nick, Nat, and Tim. If they respond favorably, they'll carry this blog chain letter one more step.

Lortel Award Winners

Last night, the incredibly fun Lucille Lortel Awards -- honoring the year's best of Off-Broadway -- took place, and the awards season in New York finally began to take shape. A bit o' analysis after the jump:

Outstanding Play:
After Ashley
*Doubt
Going to St. Ives
Intimate Apparel
Orson's Shadow

Outstanding Musical
Altar Boyz
Junie B. Jones
Lone Star Love
*The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Outstanding Solo Show
*Nine Parts of Desire
The Two and Only

Outstanding Revival
*Counsellor-At-Law
Engaged
Finian's Rainbow
Hedda Gabler
Hurlyburly

Outstanding Director
Jo Bonney, Fat Pig
Scott Elliott, Hurlyburly
*Doug Hughes, Doubt
James Lapine, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Daniel Sullivan, Intimate Apparel

Outstanding Choreographer
*Christopher Gattelli, Altar Boyz
Devanand Janki, Junie B. Jones
Dan Knechtges, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Barry McNabb, Finian's Rainbow
Randy Skinner, Lone Star Love

Outstanding Lead Actor
Larry Bryggman, Romance
Ethan Hawke, Hurlyburly
Brían F. O'Byrne, Doubt
*John Rubinstein, Counsellor-At-Law
Jeffrey Wright, This Is How It Goes

Outstanding Lead Actress
Ashlie Atkinson, Fat Pig
Viola Davis, Intimate Apparel
*Cherry Jones, Doubt
Judy Kaye, Souvenir
Elizabeth Marvel, Hedda Gabler

Outstanding Featured Actor
Kevin Cahoon, The Foreigner
*Dan Fogler, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Josh Hamilton, Hurlyburly
Logan Marshall-Green, The Distance From Here
Tyler Maynard, Altar Boyz

Outstanding Featured Actress
*Jenn Harris, Modern Orthodox
*Adriane Lenox, Doubt
Alison Pill, On the Mountain
*Parker Posey, Hurlyburly
Jennifer Simard, Forbidden Broadway: SVU

Outstanding Scenic Design
Julian Crouch & Graeme Gilmour, Shockheaded Peter
Antje Ellermann, Nine Parts of Desire
*Derek McLane, Intimate Apparel
Neil Patel, Between Us
Jan Versweyved, Hedda Gabler

Outstanding Costume Design
Alvin Colt, Forbidden Broadway: SVU
Anna Hannikainen, Slava's Snowshow
Kevin Pollard, Shockheaded Peter
Anita Yavich, Svejk
*Catherine Zuber, Intimate Apparel

Outstanding Lighting Design
Christopher Akerlind, Belle Epoque
Jules Fisher & Peggy Eisenhauer, Dessa Rose
Jon Linstrum, Shockheaded Peter
James Vermeulen, Mr. Fox: A Rumination
*David Weiner, Rodney's Wife

Outstanding Sound Design
*Obadiah Eaves, Nine Parts of Desire
Scott Lehrer, Dessa Rose
Simon Matthews, Altar Boyz
Darron L. West, Hot 'n' Throbbing
Darron L. West, The Last Days of Judas Iscariot

Although these awards honor Off-Broadway, it certainly boosts the Tony hopes of two Broadway transfers, Doubt and Spelling Bee. Its stars faced a cloudier picture, however; while Cherry Jones and Adriane Lenox both scored wins for Doubt, Brian F. O'Byrne was upset by suprise winner John Rubenstein for Counsellor-at-Law. As for the ensemble of Spelling Bee, Dan Fogler picked up a win that probably cements his Tony nomination...but none of his co-stars were even nominated.

The Lortels remembered the exemplary work of Intimate Apparel from last spring in the design categories and the quiet hit 9 Parts of Desire, but disappointed fans of Altar Boyz, the buzz-worthy hit musical that only scored one win (for choreography).

Did You Know (and Do You Care) That...

...Paula Abdul may be leaving American Idol over the recent reports of contestant-humping?

...Massachussetts may not be as gay-friendly tomorrow as it is today?

...Pennsylvania Senator/Professional Bigot Rick Santorum is afraid he's going to be kicked out of office next year...and is therefore contemplating a bid to run for President? (And can you explain that logic to me?)

...that the Desperate Housewives got their freak on at the GLAAD awards...with each other?

...White House PressSlut Jeff Gannon was on Bill Maher this weekend, extending his fifteen minutes of fame by five more seconds?

...that our blogbuddy Hunter of NotThatBoy will be making an appearance in John Cameron Mitchell's next film, Shortbus...and that it's going to feature real live sex?

...that there's great news today: the Navaho's new ban against same-sex marriages was vetoed by the tribe leader?

This Week In Modern Fabulousity - May 2, 2005

The Fab Listings for this week:

FILM: Will it be Gladiator Part 2...or ethnophobic epic? One thing's for sure with Kingdom of Heaven...the trailers look gorgeous.

MUSEUM: A rare tribute to the undeniable goddess of haute couture...the eagerly-awaited Chanel retrospective begins at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

DVD: 2004's best movie you never saw, Enduring Love, has a stunning new DVD version. Obsession and paranoia, as performed by the stellar Daniel Craig, Samantha Morton and Rhys Ifans.

MUSIC: Bow down before the one you serve, you're going to get what you deserve. Nine Inch Nails is back with the haunting, with the powerful, With Teeth.

A Not-So-Subtle Reminder...

With the ModFab Seal of Approval:

IN RECITAL: Classic and Contemporary

Dennis Blackwell, baritone
with Elizabeth Hastings, piano
featuring selections by Mozart, Sondheim, Puccini, Finn, spirituals, and the AIDS Quilt Songbook

Tuesday, May 3, 2005 at 8:00 pm
St. Peter's Lutheran Church at Citicorp Center
East 54th Street @ Lexington Avenue
Free (Donation Requested)

Note To John Kerry: Fuck Off and Leave Us Alone

I've spent the morning reading reports that John Kerry has decided to run again for President in 2008. Unbelievable. This comes on the heels of Wesley Clark's all-but-admission that he'll run again as well.

Full disclosure: I was a Kerry supporter in 2004, after John Edwards dropped out of the race to take the #2 slot. But had Al Sharpton been the nominee -- heck, had Bozo The Clown been the nominee -- I would have gladly pulled the lever for him as well. The truth is, I was an anybody-but-Bush voter in 2004...he has (before and since) proven to be a leader of disastrous proportions, destroying our economy and environment while tearing apart other countries with no supportable basis. He is a liar, a cheat, and an embarrassment to intelligent Americans everywhere.

The fact is, Kerry should have knocked the '04 out of the park. He should not have only beaten Bush, but it shouldn't have even been close. But he didn't -- he tripped up over Vietnam and tax verbiage so many times that even I decided he was, indeed, a flip-flopper. (Unlike most, however, I don't consider that necessarily a bad thing...I think one man's flip-flopper is another man's careful consideration.)

Here's the truth: Kerry was so unlikeable that he couldn't win against a COMPLETE DISASTER, and it proved to the world that John Kerry hasn't got the three basic qualities it takes to win the American voter over: charisma, clarity, and a backbone.

You don't have to even have policy, or ideas. You just need to be liked.

As for Wesley Clark: he was always one of the hangers-on, like Kucinich and Sharpton and Braun. Clark never had a chance to begin with, but he (and they) stayed in the race just long enough to confuse voters, push petty individual agendas, and tear down the eventual candidate.

I say to Kerry, and Clark, and the rest of the 2004 fuckwads: you had your chance. None of you, Edwards included, should run again. That was your moment, and you fucked it up. Learn the lesson of Howard Dean, and realize that you can help the cause in other ways.

I'm not sure who should run in 2008. Maybe Hillary. Maybe Evan Bayh. Maybe Bill Richardson. Maybe Barack Obama (although I hope he waits until 2012 or 2016). But it needs to be a fresh voice in the race, a different kind of campaign altogether. I'm tired of these cookie-cutter democrats endlessly trying to court the imaginary middle -- as Bush/Rove proved in 2004, there is no middle anymore.

I believe that progressive thought still holds its best hope in the Democratic Party...although I'd now entertain a legitimate third-party candidate if they had winnable prospects. (Translation: Not Nader.) I believe that Howard Dean will run a seriously mean-and-lean Party for the elections.

But if John Kerry or Wesley Clark run again, I swear to heaven above I will fight them tooth and nail. They have proven the obvious: they cannot win. Step aside, boys.

Mel Gussow, Champion of Off-Broadway

Former New York Times theatre critic Mel Gussow died today from cancer, and it's a sad day...Gussow dates from the era when critics at the Times deserved their reputations as the world's best, back when critics were not fussy whiners but passionate ambassadors for the art form.

While writers like Shepard, Mamet, Foreman, and Ludlam might have achieved international renown on their own, Gussow was the first major mainstream critic to explore their work and champion them to a larger audience. He was a major advocate of Off-Broadway and Off-Off-Broadway, and sought out experimentalism and progressive ideas in the theatre.

Sadly, most of Gussow's articles in the NY Times Archive aren't free, but if you're in the mood to wax nostalgic, here's what a critic should really be. A few are offered up without charge.